(no subject)
the past few days have been miserable... I have toruble doing any of my work at my job. i cant hold a conversation exept with mike.... i cant keep food down.. i feel sick at the pit of my stomach constantly... i even have a hard time driveing... i dont know what im going to do. Amy has started to come back into his life... he sais their not going to get back togeather but im still scared. i wish i could just start over with him... only a fe more monthes and i wont live here anymore, none of my old life will haunt me like it does now and ill be able to be the right kind of girl for mike. i really really do love him very very much. he doesnt believe me when i say that to him.. i really need things to work out tho... ive never felt like this before.. mike has made my life so much better... weve had some really really good times. up at my camp we road around on the golf cart in the freezeing rain. we got to sleep in the room togeather and he was the last person i seen before i went to sleep, and the first person there when i woke up. even during the thunder storm i went and sat with him and he didnt mind that i woke him. kissing him and looking into his eyes just makes my heart melt for him, it was as if we were perfect togeather.. now as i stare out my window into the pouring rain and remeber all the times... i wonder what happened.. i wonder why its diffrent now. i wonder what is going to happen to us.. these memories arent gonna dssappear to me.. im just scared that shell come back in his life.. and steal my memory compleatly away from him.... i love him. no matter what anyone sais i do... <33<33<33