[revelations.]
sometimes i find myself sitting at home and thinking "jesus god, i'm sick and i'll be handicapped sometime in the future". and it's a bizarre feeling because, thankfully, for now i have no symptoms and i'm not different from any healthy person (minus the interferon shots i took and did in most inappropriate places like in the center of coworkers and the ~5000 pills my belly welcomed). but i'm still sick and it's one of the strangest things ever.
i don't remember it and i don't really feel it.
it's like some kind of out-of-body experience when i feel myself and i know something inside is breaking and repairing and breaking again. it's inside and i can't do anything though it'll break me one day. it's so strange because today i'm fine but my head is like a boiling soup inside, full of electrical malfunctions and broken nerves. so crazy to sit and realise it's happening right now, when you watch porn or eat or shit.
it's not a pity-party or anything but it's "funny" to have diagnose, all this information and stuff but nothing's happening (unless it is) and on a normal day like today it's so unreal.
i don't remember it and i don't really feel it.
it's like some kind of out-of-body experience when i feel myself and i know something inside is breaking and repairing and breaking again. it's inside and i can't do anything though it'll break me one day. it's so strange because today i'm fine but my head is like a boiling soup inside, full of electrical malfunctions and broken nerves. so crazy to sit and realise it's happening right now, when you watch porn or eat or shit.
it's not a pity-party or anything but it's "funny" to have diagnose, all this information and stuff but nothing's happening (unless it is) and on a normal day like today it's so unreal.