[it came down to this.]

[firelle]

i can't be bothered to care about my thesis.
i can't be bothered that no one calls me.
i can't be bothered that i don't have anyone to call.
i can't be bothered that i don't even have gg or my fb is empty.
i can't be bothered that i don't know who i want to be.
i can't be bothered that i don't know what i intend to do in four months.
i can't be bothered that there are no places where i can go and hook up with someone for one night.
i can't be bothered that people i know hang out together every day and i leave my house one per two months.
i can't be bothered to care about my health.

i just don't care. it's a scary state. but i just don't want anything. anyone. i don't want anything to change. i don't have any dreams. aims.

just nothing.

this will be yet another awful summer. no idea what then.