My hair thirty minutes ago:
My hair now:
I woke up this morning and decided I could not deal with the conditioner expenditures any longer. After work I drove to the nearest haircutting place marked on Google Maps...which turned out to be a little place that specialized in black men's hair. The barber gamely volunteered to try, though. First time I have every had a hair cut done with clippers. It came out even and cost less than $20, so I am satisfied. Also, it may now dry in less than a day.
Sadly, it did not grant me any bad guy fighting superpowers.