Quitting Again
A pattern:
Every weekend Nick is here, things are tense, strange, and (for lack of a better word) irritating. He is moody, puts his reactions and emotions to things above those he is surrounded by, and doesn't listen/has a limited attention span. As a result, Taylor acts differently, has a shorter attention span, and tends to speak to me in a way he doesn't normally.
Thus, there are some ways to move forward: do nothing and accept that Taylor is going to always act this way when Nick is in town.
Say something and hope that it creates some kind of change.
Desired result: That Taylor goes back to treating me as his friend and not just a person to spend time with when Nick isn't around.
Have a roommate that values my friendship the same way I value theirs.
Have a friend who is communicative.
All I know is that I'm tired of telling a story or saying something and, halfway through, realize that I'm talking to myself. That there is little concern for what I'm saying and concern mostly with how the other is existing in the world. Perhaps it's a matter of being young and selfish and self-involved. Maybe it's a condition of that generation.
I'm bloody tired of it.
A change is in order. Find a new way.
Has all this technology and exposure bred a new generation of self-involved pricks? Or people who care for about five seconds before they move onto something else? Are people becoming emotionless little robots? How are drugs impacting our lives? Ones that are recommended and prescribed?
Maybe it's a middle-upper class thing. A spoiled little brat thing.
The first thing I noticed when I moved down here and began hanging out with different people is that I felt of a lower class, financially, than them. That I felt in some ways, lesser. It's what this place does to certain folks who are still developing as people. Fuck what people think and what people might say. I'm past the age where that bothers me.
Part of Justin is hesitant, probably, because of this fact. Part of him isn't excited because he wonders how his life might change for the worse.
Maybe this is what the psychic was saying--that the decision would be clear soon enough. I should go back to school. I should study harder and spend more time developing ideas.
What I miss immensely is sitting among a group of people who could truly see inside one another. Who didn't hide or distract.
Each year I reach the conclusion that social media is a terrible thing that I should break away from. An addiction I don't like having. Each year I pull away and come closer, again.
It's time to try again. Time to try quitting a lot of things.
Every weekend Nick is here, things are tense, strange, and (for lack of a better word) irritating. He is moody, puts his reactions and emotions to things above those he is surrounded by, and doesn't listen/has a limited attention span. As a result, Taylor acts differently, has a shorter attention span, and tends to speak to me in a way he doesn't normally.
Thus, there are some ways to move forward: do nothing and accept that Taylor is going to always act this way when Nick is in town.
Say something and hope that it creates some kind of change.
Desired result: That Taylor goes back to treating me as his friend and not just a person to spend time with when Nick isn't around.
Have a roommate that values my friendship the same way I value theirs.
Have a friend who is communicative.
All I know is that I'm tired of telling a story or saying something and, halfway through, realize that I'm talking to myself. That there is little concern for what I'm saying and concern mostly with how the other is existing in the world. Perhaps it's a matter of being young and selfish and self-involved. Maybe it's a condition of that generation.
I'm bloody tired of it.
A change is in order. Find a new way.
Has all this technology and exposure bred a new generation of self-involved pricks? Or people who care for about five seconds before they move onto something else? Are people becoming emotionless little robots? How are drugs impacting our lives? Ones that are recommended and prescribed?
Maybe it's a middle-upper class thing. A spoiled little brat thing.
The first thing I noticed when I moved down here and began hanging out with different people is that I felt of a lower class, financially, than them. That I felt in some ways, lesser. It's what this place does to certain folks who are still developing as people. Fuck what people think and what people might say. I'm past the age where that bothers me.
Part of Justin is hesitant, probably, because of this fact. Part of him isn't excited because he wonders how his life might change for the worse.
Maybe this is what the psychic was saying--that the decision would be clear soon enough. I should go back to school. I should study harder and spend more time developing ideas.
What I miss immensely is sitting among a group of people who could truly see inside one another. Who didn't hide or distract.
Each year I reach the conclusion that social media is a terrible thing that I should break away from. An addiction I don't like having. Each year I pull away and come closer, again.
It's time to try again. Time to try quitting a lot of things.