My Letter to Gramma! "My Life Lately & Dad + Snow"
Hi Gramma!
Just wanted to tell you some of the things that have been going on in my life for the past few weeks. This email is reaaaally long and cram packed very densely full of information, so I am not expecting any kind of quick responses. Please take your time to read and understand the contents. ^_^
A few weeks ago I randomly stumbled across an individual on youtube that, for some unknown reason, piqued my curiosity. His name is Camui Gackt and he's a Japanese rock music star.
I've had several talks with my dad about this already, so I know that the first thing that comes to mind is usually an image of teenage girls screaming about wanting to have rock star's babies or something. I want to assure that while I am certainly romantically interested on a core level, I'm not losing my sanity about it. Please forgive me if my compulsive need to defend myself is too strong here. But out of about 8 people I've talked to about this, only 2 have not immediately assumed that I was being foolish.
I've learned some powerful things in the past couple weeks. I've come to realize that I had been listening to "normal" people too much. I've lowered my aspirations to "realistic" things and stopped dreaming... I've been working a mundane life focusing on what I'm calling "goals". Things like "I want to build my credit to buy a house and a car", "I want to go to school so I can get a better paycheck". These are all very easily achieved things which are not very far out of reach. When I started thinking about Gackt I started to chase dreams again. The important thing about chasing a dream is not to forget to set tangible goals. I'll explain... My "dream" is to meet Gackt and somehow score a date with him. Yes I hope that something romantic happens (I'm a diehard romantic at heart) but even if all I get from Gackt directly is a new friend with a unique perspective on life- I'll be thrilled.
But the destination is only part of point! It's also very very much about what that means to your daily life and how you go about chasing your dreams. What this means to my daily life is that I feel inspired to work extra hard on enhancing the things that I love about myself. I've always tried to live by what I know I can do, and not what the world says I should be able to do (the world's standards always seem so low to me...) but I've realized lately that I haven't been pushing myself at all! Chasing my dream to meet Gackt has reignited some of my childhood dreams, and it feels amazing!
I've started trying to learn a new language (Japanese, since it's Gackt's favorite language). I've made half-assed attempts at learning Japanese in the past, but this time is different and I'm pushing myself really hard to learn it quickly, but as thoroughly as I can. Challenging myself to create an emulated immersive environment so make the language feel more natural and easy to learn. Learning Japanese will also feed into another of my new goals.
I finally have a reason to attend that Anime Convention I've wanted to go to for the past decade (Gackt loves anime) I'm trying to get in on the convention staff as a guest relations rep (so I can invite Gackt to the convention) but I have to learn Japanese for that department. Being on the Staff would challenge me to meet new people while building an extra curricular activity that isn't tied to a monitor. The perks of being on the staff are- free convention admission, free hotel room, free 2x meals per day. I would only have to work 8 hours a day for 4 days, and since I've volunteered for things similar to this in the past I know for a fact that I'll have a lot of fun "working" at the convention.
I grew up loving music and singing. I used to always be sure to have some kind of chorus elective in school once I learned it was possible. But I have stage fright... Part of my online research for information and opportunities has involved watching lots of music videos. I've been watching his videos, the videos of his best friend Hyde from another Japanese rock band, and a few other videos just trying to learn the atmosphere. A couple nights ago it struck me, one of my "dreams" used to be to try to join a band as a singer. I lost that somewhere... But now I'm picking myself up and thinking "ok, if you want it- make it happen. You have to try to succeed before you can say you can't do it." I'm getting some people together to start going to all the local karaoke bars and evaluate which ones we like and for what reason. It's just an excuse to get me singing again in an environment that I know will make me have to face my stage fright and defeat it. When I'm ready- there's a local karaoke bar that does competitions involving real money prizes once a week. So I can challenge myself and maybe even earn a little cash from the process!
I've taken this initiative and drive into the more mundane things in life. I get up earlier in the morning, instead of snoozing until I absolutely have to get out of bed. My hygiene has improved because of my desire to enhance my own sense of pride in myself. I went to the eye doctor recently to update my prescription and got contacts, because they're fun! I am even working a little harder at my job because I feel more alive every day just by thinking about the amazingness of my goals, my dreams, and the progress of what I'm working on every day.
I wanted to share this news with you, because it feels very powerful to me and it's been a wonderful experience for me. ^_^
Now on to the 2nd part of the subject line. I haven't bee strapped to skiis in almost 20 years (in my memory) and all this gung-ho fiery vibe I've rediscovered in me says I need to kick my own butt and have some damn fun! I've decided that I need to learn to snow board. ^_^ It looks like so much fun, and it's one of my fears to be strapped to a board with limited mobility. I'm gonna challenge that fear and master it! So I'm bringing my father along with me. Next year the Kocher family is going to play in the snow! I don't know when exactly, but I'm determined to get Gwen & my dad out there on a pair of skiis with me on a snowboard. I'll let you know how those plans go. ^_^
Ja matta ne, obaa-chan! (See you later, gramma!)
Just wanted to tell you some of the things that have been going on in my life for the past few weeks. This email is reaaaally long and cram packed very densely full of information, so I am not expecting any kind of quick responses. Please take your time to read and understand the contents. ^_^
A few weeks ago I randomly stumbled across an individual on youtube that, for some unknown reason, piqued my curiosity. His name is Camui Gackt and he's a Japanese rock music star.
I've had several talks with my dad about this already, so I know that the first thing that comes to mind is usually an image of teenage girls screaming about wanting to have rock star's babies or something. I want to assure that while I am certainly romantically interested on a core level, I'm not losing my sanity about it. Please forgive me if my compulsive need to defend myself is too strong here. But out of about 8 people I've talked to about this, only 2 have not immediately assumed that I was being foolish.
I've learned some powerful things in the past couple weeks. I've come to realize that I had been listening to "normal" people too much. I've lowered my aspirations to "realistic" things and stopped dreaming... I've been working a mundane life focusing on what I'm calling "goals". Things like "I want to build my credit to buy a house and a car", "I want to go to school so I can get a better paycheck". These are all very easily achieved things which are not very far out of reach. When I started thinking about Gackt I started to chase dreams again. The important thing about chasing a dream is not to forget to set tangible goals. I'll explain... My "dream" is to meet Gackt and somehow score a date with him. Yes I hope that something romantic happens (I'm a diehard romantic at heart) but even if all I get from Gackt directly is a new friend with a unique perspective on life- I'll be thrilled.
But the destination is only part of point! It's also very very much about what that means to your daily life and how you go about chasing your dreams. What this means to my daily life is that I feel inspired to work extra hard on enhancing the things that I love about myself. I've always tried to live by what I know I can do, and not what the world says I should be able to do (the world's standards always seem so low to me...) but I've realized lately that I haven't been pushing myself at all! Chasing my dream to meet Gackt has reignited some of my childhood dreams, and it feels amazing!
I've started trying to learn a new language (Japanese, since it's Gackt's favorite language). I've made half-assed attempts at learning Japanese in the past, but this time is different and I'm pushing myself really hard to learn it quickly, but as thoroughly as I can. Challenging myself to create an emulated immersive environment so make the language feel more natural and easy to learn. Learning Japanese will also feed into another of my new goals.
I finally have a reason to attend that Anime Convention I've wanted to go to for the past decade (Gackt loves anime) I'm trying to get in on the convention staff as a guest relations rep (so I can invite Gackt to the convention) but I have to learn Japanese for that department. Being on the Staff would challenge me to meet new people while building an extra curricular activity that isn't tied to a monitor. The perks of being on the staff are- free convention admission, free hotel room, free 2x meals per day. I would only have to work 8 hours a day for 4 days, and since I've volunteered for things similar to this in the past I know for a fact that I'll have a lot of fun "working" at the convention.
I grew up loving music and singing. I used to always be sure to have some kind of chorus elective in school once I learned it was possible. But I have stage fright... Part of my online research for information and opportunities has involved watching lots of music videos. I've been watching his videos, the videos of his best friend Hyde from another Japanese rock band, and a few other videos just trying to learn the atmosphere. A couple nights ago it struck me, one of my "dreams" used to be to try to join a band as a singer. I lost that somewhere... But now I'm picking myself up and thinking "ok, if you want it- make it happen. You have to try to succeed before you can say you can't do it." I'm getting some people together to start going to all the local karaoke bars and evaluate which ones we like and for what reason. It's just an excuse to get me singing again in an environment that I know will make me have to face my stage fright and defeat it. When I'm ready- there's a local karaoke bar that does competitions involving real money prizes once a week. So I can challenge myself and maybe even earn a little cash from the process!
I've taken this initiative and drive into the more mundane things in life. I get up earlier in the morning, instead of snoozing until I absolutely have to get out of bed. My hygiene has improved because of my desire to enhance my own sense of pride in myself. I went to the eye doctor recently to update my prescription and got contacts, because they're fun! I am even working a little harder at my job because I feel more alive every day just by thinking about the amazingness of my goals, my dreams, and the progress of what I'm working on every day.
I wanted to share this news with you, because it feels very powerful to me and it's been a wonderful experience for me. ^_^
Now on to the 2nd part of the subject line. I haven't bee strapped to skiis in almost 20 years (in my memory) and all this gung-ho fiery vibe I've rediscovered in me says I need to kick my own butt and have some damn fun! I've decided that I need to learn to snow board. ^_^ It looks like so much fun, and it's one of my fears to be strapped to a board with limited mobility. I'm gonna challenge that fear and master it! So I'm bringing my father along with me. Next year the Kocher family is going to play in the snow! I don't know when exactly, but I'm determined to get Gwen & my dad out there on a pair of skiis with me on a snowboard. I'll let you know how those plans go. ^_^
Ja matta ne, obaa-chan! (See you later, gramma!)