(no subject)
I haven't written in here in forever. But, Courtzy said she wanted random updates into my life so I thought I would share here. I'm still with Zein, which is good, but other than that my entire life and everything in it feels out of control. It's finals season which means my room is cleaner than ever and all my laundry is done due to my strange way of procrastinating. I can't bring myself to care about the 50 pages I have to write in the next week making it seem rather impossible to complete, but it'll get done somehow. Then, the scary part, is that after the last paper is turned in and things are less stressful I am faced with the horrible realization that I have graduated. That four years have come and gone and I am entering this strange limbo called the real world. Yet, that real world is not a hopeful vision but the realization that I am graduating into the worst job market since the Great Depression and that even though I have been applying for jobs since last September everything has fallen through. That even though I have a service contract with the US government stating that I must work for them the sweet irony of existence has stepped in to make sure the fates keep every opportunity from my hands. The next steps are vague, uncertain, and hold nothing more than trepidation. Then I was hit with the realization that when my lease ends in August I either have a future and move on or head back home to work or attempt to work in some minimum wage job. As utter hopelessness starts to take hold I think what if that one application gets read? What if that one organization thinks I'm qualified? But then I wait and nothing comes. The next steps? Who knows. As it is right now my name is in every database known to the US government and my resume is sitting in the in box of every agency but nothing yet. I'm waiting for the one that calls me back and says, yes, we have a position for you. I've applied to the Peace Corps, that could be fun, but even that's competitive now. I've set a deadline for myself though, if all jobs are bleak by December of 2009 then I will be starting 2010 as an intelligence officer with the Air Force. We'll see where it goes. As for right now I've just got to get myself in gear long enough to write out an epic paper and take the foreign service test on Saturday. Wish me luck :)