For Jason
This is hardly the first time that Boyd Crowder has spent time in jail. But it is the first and the very first time he has been accompanied by such a crushing sense of disappointment. In himself. In his weakness and his sin and his selfishness. In his inability to be the man God has asked him to be. It is no mystery, now, why God took his men away. Why they had to suffer and die all in the name of Boyd's cause. Because Boyd is a vile creature in the eyes of the Lord. It has been dark for hours, another day by himself in this place. People come and go, but he is not yet allowed visitors outside of Raylan and the IPD. He should be left here, forever. To rot. To contemplate exactly what he has cost this island. Their salvation and the promises Boyd made about being reunited with loved ones. People like Ms. Curtis and Ms. Sinclair and Raylan Givens who was the agent of Boyd's salvation were counting on him and he has let them down. In the most grave of ways.
He has not eaten, hardly drank although the offers have been made. Boyd has little interest in continuing on in this place. He has a good idea where he will be headed next if he continues on this path but right now he is beyond caring. He is beyond saving and God, it seems, is not trying any longer. They allowed him his Holy Word but it remains in the corner. Those words too precious for Boyd's eyes, now. He does not deserve even that small comfort.
He has not eaten, hardly drank although the offers have been made. Boyd has little interest in continuing on in this place. He has a good idea where he will be headed next if he continues on this path but right now he is beyond caring. He is beyond saving and God, it seems, is not trying any longer. They allowed him his Holy Word but it remains in the corner. Those words too precious for Boyd's eyes, now. He does not deserve even that small comfort.