closer to closure

[fireinmyfaith]

have you ever had the flu? or just a really bad fever, one that lasted a few days. do you remember how the pain of it filled up your chest, and racked your body into tightening and shaking as you'd sweat and cry and throw up, your insides cramping down to shoot what was inside out, and when it was all gone your stomach would still slam against itself, trying to push more out, and when you'd lay down you'd sweat, and get all wet, and get cold so you'd get covers, that would make you hot so you would sweat, but worst of all was the pain, the pain that you could never pinpoint, but it filled up your chest, and made you rock back and forth on the couch, and every second lasts forever, and it would all just never, ever, end. do you remember that? then the next week when you'd be better, you'd be in a different world, and you wouldn't think about the sickness, it almost wouldn't seem real, even tho is lasted forever while you were there? do you remember that?

that is what depression is like.

so,
"I hold on I hold on
I can't let go
And you don't know how I feel
Hold on I hold on
I’d sell my soul
And you don't know how I feel
I’m losing my heart
I’m losing my pride
I’d burn our initials
In the sun if it would shine
I need a fresh start
‘Cause I was in heaven until
This world fell apart

I’m out on the run
I’m out in this empty space
Since all of this begun
Well I tried, I tried

Nothing seems to help
Nothing seems to work
Nothing is as beautiful
I’m old enough to take
all the blame
For all the mistakes
All the games and
All the faces
I’m bleeding by myself
But I’m okay"

sell my soul -our lady peace