(no subject)
See that cat there in my icon. I've been feeling like that more than I would like. I can't say why, and that's part of what causes the tension. I've actually started getting tension headaches lately because my muscles are getting that tight. There are many things I'd like to say about many things, but I cannot.
For once, at least, the issue is not money. I'm working and making money regularly. It's not a great deal, but it's enough that I can pay the bills and put food in the belly without worrying about running out of money because of it. The income curve is heading upwards, so at least on that front, things are getting better.
And what the fuck, let's talk about one of the things I'm not allowed to talk about. It's not so much what I am upset about, but it needs to be said anyway. What will they do, fire me? Oh, too late, already did that. And everyone's formed their opinions already. Let's talk about the Cast. You know, that cast that I'm part of and was a founder of. The cast that right now is one of the best in the country, but has no plan to stay there, and with it's lack of recruitment will soon find itself scrambling to put anyone on the stage.
Performance wise, the cast is one of the best. That means from the time the film starts running, the show ranges from good to fucking amazing. Given that, why are our audiences hovering around a dozen? A few reasons, no recruitment means that all of our cast members are burnt out and no longer excitedly dragging everyone they meet to the show. Our preshow period, from the time it starts, an average of five minutes late, is like being hit with a wet pillow. A dull, unpleasant thud that leaves you uncomfortably damp, but not quite wet. I put more effort into meaningless class assignments than Amanda puts into preshows. Forget making new preshows, how about scheduling the ones we have properly. Is that too much to ask? How about checking email two or three times a week. It's easier to get a hold of someone at the IRS than Amanda sometimes.
Some of our preshows are good, at least when they first go up, then they are played to death, or put up with no warning so there are improper costumes, props, and attitudes. I guess there are some new preshows in the works so we won't look like total assholes going into the Halloween and Labyrinth, but that doesn't excuse sitting on our asses for the first nine months of this year.
Ana's doing a great job with tech, but without recruitment to give her more people or publicity to get an audience or a show to keep people coming back, she'll have the best tech crew in the world with no show to do tech for.
And the constant litany from all three of them, "I'm too busy." If you're too busy to do your damned job, then quit and open the space for someone who has some fucking dedication. I never said I was too busy for Rocky when I was a director. I was damned busy, largely because I had to do not only my job but a bit of everyone else's as well. My reward for that was a fucking golden boot in the ass. Apparently the secret to longevity in this cast is to do nothing and offend no one. Who cares if you're not doing even a passable version of your job as long as you don't make anyone upset at you personally, no one wants to make enough waves to do anything about it.
If you're so goddamned busy, at least get the fuck out of the way and let someone else do your job. Don't set up ridiculous requirements to make a new preshow when we don't have enough. Listen to people when they say they want to put up their preshow at a certain time with certain people in it. Don't second guess them. Don't changed your policies every three weeks.
Back in February the excuse that they gave was that they needed time to get settled. Time to get settled? Taler had been there 2/3 of a year, and Amanda about two years! Was I so integral to the leadership that it fell apart without me? Now it's September, NINE months later, and they are still getting settled. There's no leadership in this cast. No responsibility. Everything is shared, all decisions and all responsibility. Everyone says "don't blame me, we did this together." Well, together they are driving this cast into the toilet. Round and round we go and no one has the balls to even say anything about it much less do anything.
I certainly haven't said anything because I'm already on thin ice. I was removed as a director and needed to watch my tongue because anything I say could be seen as sour grapes. Of course I think things are bad, it's because I'm not in charge anymore. No one else sees it that way. No, no one else sees it that way because no one else not in leadership thinks about the cast from an overall strategic standpoint. They think about themselves and their area. They think about tech or acting or preshows, but not about the whole package. Seeing the big picture is not the job of the cast members. They are supposed to focus on their areas. It's the job of the leadership. The job that no one is doing.
Amusingly, it's not the Cast that has me so pissed off. It's something else entirely, but maybe I needed that jolt to say this where other people could see it because, God damn it, someone has to say something about the elephant in the living room. We all know that we are in serious trouble. We all know that most actors have to perform almost every week they are available because there are no spares and there is almost no one in training. We all know that our audience numbers are terrible, and even if they are good tonight, we don't have a show that will keep them coming back all year long. We all know all these things. None of them are well guarded secrets. In fact, I have heard many cast members say them in private, but no one will talk about them openly because everyone is afraid that if they make waves there will be drama. We'd all rather watch the cast wither into obscurity than risk drama. Heaven for fend that we actually tell someone they are not doing their job well.
If this was some jerk off cast where we got together on Saturdays nights for some hahas and screwed around for fun, it wouldn't be a big deal. We do this for a while and move on. But it's not. This cast is a serious cast. We have worked hard to get where we are, and we have built something amazing. Now we risk losing that. While we may keep the show going, we cannot maintain any level of excellence without leadership and responsibility.
I'm not saying any of this to insult or offend. I'm saying it because we need to do something. We are sliding into mediocrity. Tonight's show will have great numbers, and everyone will think everything is okay again. Everyone will say, "oh, good, we're off the hook, back to coasting and not worrying." And they'll keep saying that right as the numbers plunge in December. Now, right now, is our only chance to act. To improve our show. To recruit new members. To keep people coming back. Because if not now, when people are coming to our big shows, when will we step up and do what needs to be done to keep from losing all we have worked for.
So there it is. In black and white, or whatever colors you read this in. I've talked about this privately with the leadership. I've talked to other actors. I've even spoken publicly in a circumspect way. Here it all is in one tactless, blunt, direct rush of what needs to be said and no one else is willing to say. Maybe someone will read it an notice that something just might be wrong. Maybe that someone will actually do something about it. God knows I can't. I don't know anything. I only helped start the cast.
For once, at least, the issue is not money. I'm working and making money regularly. It's not a great deal, but it's enough that I can pay the bills and put food in the belly without worrying about running out of money because of it. The income curve is heading upwards, so at least on that front, things are getting better.
And what the fuck, let's talk about one of the things I'm not allowed to talk about. It's not so much what I am upset about, but it needs to be said anyway. What will they do, fire me? Oh, too late, already did that. And everyone's formed their opinions already. Let's talk about the Cast. You know, that cast that I'm part of and was a founder of. The cast that right now is one of the best in the country, but has no plan to stay there, and with it's lack of recruitment will soon find itself scrambling to put anyone on the stage.
Performance wise, the cast is one of the best. That means from the time the film starts running, the show ranges from good to fucking amazing. Given that, why are our audiences hovering around a dozen? A few reasons, no recruitment means that all of our cast members are burnt out and no longer excitedly dragging everyone they meet to the show. Our preshow period, from the time it starts, an average of five minutes late, is like being hit with a wet pillow. A dull, unpleasant thud that leaves you uncomfortably damp, but not quite wet. I put more effort into meaningless class assignments than Amanda puts into preshows. Forget making new preshows, how about scheduling the ones we have properly. Is that too much to ask? How about checking email two or three times a week. It's easier to get a hold of someone at the IRS than Amanda sometimes.
Some of our preshows are good, at least when they first go up, then they are played to death, or put up with no warning so there are improper costumes, props, and attitudes. I guess there are some new preshows in the works so we won't look like total assholes going into the Halloween and Labyrinth, but that doesn't excuse sitting on our asses for the first nine months of this year.
Ana's doing a great job with tech, but without recruitment to give her more people or publicity to get an audience or a show to keep people coming back, she'll have the best tech crew in the world with no show to do tech for.
And the constant litany from all three of them, "I'm too busy." If you're too busy to do your damned job, then quit and open the space for someone who has some fucking dedication. I never said I was too busy for Rocky when I was a director. I was damned busy, largely because I had to do not only my job but a bit of everyone else's as well. My reward for that was a fucking golden boot in the ass. Apparently the secret to longevity in this cast is to do nothing and offend no one. Who cares if you're not doing even a passable version of your job as long as you don't make anyone upset at you personally, no one wants to make enough waves to do anything about it.
If you're so goddamned busy, at least get the fuck out of the way and let someone else do your job. Don't set up ridiculous requirements to make a new preshow when we don't have enough. Listen to people when they say they want to put up their preshow at a certain time with certain people in it. Don't second guess them. Don't changed your policies every three weeks.
Back in February the excuse that they gave was that they needed time to get settled. Time to get settled? Taler had been there 2/3 of a year, and Amanda about two years! Was I so integral to the leadership that it fell apart without me? Now it's September, NINE months later, and they are still getting settled. There's no leadership in this cast. No responsibility. Everything is shared, all decisions and all responsibility. Everyone says "don't blame me, we did this together." Well, together they are driving this cast into the toilet. Round and round we go and no one has the balls to even say anything about it much less do anything.
I certainly haven't said anything because I'm already on thin ice. I was removed as a director and needed to watch my tongue because anything I say could be seen as sour grapes. Of course I think things are bad, it's because I'm not in charge anymore. No one else sees it that way. No, no one else sees it that way because no one else not in leadership thinks about the cast from an overall strategic standpoint. They think about themselves and their area. They think about tech or acting or preshows, but not about the whole package. Seeing the big picture is not the job of the cast members. They are supposed to focus on their areas. It's the job of the leadership. The job that no one is doing.
Amusingly, it's not the Cast that has me so pissed off. It's something else entirely, but maybe I needed that jolt to say this where other people could see it because, God damn it, someone has to say something about the elephant in the living room. We all know that we are in serious trouble. We all know that most actors have to perform almost every week they are available because there are no spares and there is almost no one in training. We all know that our audience numbers are terrible, and even if they are good tonight, we don't have a show that will keep them coming back all year long. We all know all these things. None of them are well guarded secrets. In fact, I have heard many cast members say them in private, but no one will talk about them openly because everyone is afraid that if they make waves there will be drama. We'd all rather watch the cast wither into obscurity than risk drama. Heaven for fend that we actually tell someone they are not doing their job well.
If this was some jerk off cast where we got together on Saturdays nights for some hahas and screwed around for fun, it wouldn't be a big deal. We do this for a while and move on. But it's not. This cast is a serious cast. We have worked hard to get where we are, and we have built something amazing. Now we risk losing that. While we may keep the show going, we cannot maintain any level of excellence without leadership and responsibility.
I'm not saying any of this to insult or offend. I'm saying it because we need to do something. We are sliding into mediocrity. Tonight's show will have great numbers, and everyone will think everything is okay again. Everyone will say, "oh, good, we're off the hook, back to coasting and not worrying." And they'll keep saying that right as the numbers plunge in December. Now, right now, is our only chance to act. To improve our show. To recruit new members. To keep people coming back. Because if not now, when people are coming to our big shows, when will we step up and do what needs to be done to keep from losing all we have worked for.
So there it is. In black and white, or whatever colors you read this in. I've talked about this privately with the leadership. I've talked to other actors. I've even spoken publicly in a circumspect way. Here it all is in one tactless, blunt, direct rush of what needs to be said and no one else is willing to say. Maybe someone will read it an notice that something just might be wrong. Maybe that someone will actually do something about it. God knows I can't. I don't know anything. I only helped start the cast.