Hrm...
I feel like I should be posting about something. My life's pretty much in a state of turmoil right now, with things up in the air, and last minute plans still being laid willy-nilly. Being at home is SO INCREDIBLY stressful right now. My grandmother's been causing real strife. The last time I went to saw her I ended up yelling at her and then storming out in total tears. I hardly even recognize her anymore, she's not the slightly-schitzo but caring, warm grandmother I remember. She's petty and bitter and unhappy, and really intent on making the rest of us unhappy.
I wonder... with such an example of how to grow old miserably, will I be able to grow old gracefully? To wake up every day and realize that I did a lot of good things in my time, but that I still have some fun times in me? To be okay with the fact that my body is failing but my heart is still strong and my emotions still mine? I hope so. I never want to tear my family apart the way she's tearing ours apart.
Relief is coming in the form of a trip that I didn't anticipate taking, but am happy that I had the funds for. :) Means that I'll have to scrimp and save, and I'll have to put that new desktop I want on hold, but I really, really need this. For my emotional health, if nothing else. I need some certainty and safety when I haven't felt sure or right about things in too long.
And in other news I'm finally done at Amphenol. Yep, no more 6am-8pm shifts. Pulled like five of those in the past two weeks. Since I started on the 18th, I didn't have a day where I didn't work at least six hours until the 31st -- except Christmas Day that is. I pulled a 10 hr shift on Christmas Eve. THAT was fun. I'm REALLY glad to not have to wake up at 6am anymore, but I'm really REALLY glad to be out of that atmosphere. Everyone was so.. racist. And homophobic. And that was the NORM. It's scary to think that places like that exist still, that environments that foster such hositility towards people just trying to be themselves still exist. It makes me uncomfortable when people are so comfortable with comments like "oh, that explains a LOT about them blacks" or referring to the coworker they know is gay as "The Fairy". I can't stand people like that.
And finally, I'm finally handing over the reigns of DDR Club. Here's hoping that my successor doesn't fuck things up too badly. I haven't agreed with the way he's handled a lot of things, but at least his heart is in the right place. I'm just hoping that the DGA will still survive, with its two surviving underclassmen. Oh well.
This semester?
CornellCon '07.
Oh yeah baby. It's going to rock. ^.^
I wonder... with such an example of how to grow old miserably, will I be able to grow old gracefully? To wake up every day and realize that I did a lot of good things in my time, but that I still have some fun times in me? To be okay with the fact that my body is failing but my heart is still strong and my emotions still mine? I hope so. I never want to tear my family apart the way she's tearing ours apart.
Relief is coming in the form of a trip that I didn't anticipate taking, but am happy that I had the funds for. :) Means that I'll have to scrimp and save, and I'll have to put that new desktop I want on hold, but I really, really need this. For my emotional health, if nothing else. I need some certainty and safety when I haven't felt sure or right about things in too long.
And in other news I'm finally done at Amphenol. Yep, no more 6am-8pm shifts. Pulled like five of those in the past two weeks. Since I started on the 18th, I didn't have a day where I didn't work at least six hours until the 31st -- except Christmas Day that is. I pulled a 10 hr shift on Christmas Eve. THAT was fun. I'm REALLY glad to not have to wake up at 6am anymore, but I'm really REALLY glad to be out of that atmosphere. Everyone was so.. racist. And homophobic. And that was the NORM. It's scary to think that places like that exist still, that environments that foster such hositility towards people just trying to be themselves still exist. It makes me uncomfortable when people are so comfortable with comments like "oh, that explains a LOT about them blacks" or referring to the coworker they know is gay as "The Fairy". I can't stand people like that.
And finally, I'm finally handing over the reigns of DDR Club. Here's hoping that my successor doesn't fuck things up too badly. I haven't agreed with the way he's handled a lot of things, but at least his heart is in the right place. I'm just hoping that the DGA will still survive, with its two surviving underclassmen. Oh well.
This semester?
CornellCon '07.
Oh yeah baby. It's going to rock. ^.^