the unworthy daughter
today while having a lovely olive garden lunch with baloneyman's parents, his dad called his mom by her first name to let her know he was putting food on her plate.
i thought it was cute, and i imagined my own parents doing the same. but i couldn't for two main reasons: 1) it's an act uncharacteristic of my parents and 2) for the life of me i couldn't remember my mom's chinese name.
at that moment i felt a dizzying emotional cocktail of grave fear, guilt, panic. the feeling was akin to suddenly remembering that one had left the water to boil an hour ago before leaving for out of town. granted i never called my mom by her first name nor did i ever introduce to anyone by her chinese name, it's just not something you're not EVER EVER EVER supposed to forget. Even for a moment.
I could have cried.
But instead I kept my silently guilty composure at the table as i slurped up the toscana soup and chewed nervously on the salad. it was a couple of minutes until i remembered and was able to relax.
it was an awful couple of minutes.
i'm the worst daughter ever. even postmortem.
sighs.
i thought it was cute, and i imagined my own parents doing the same. but i couldn't for two main reasons: 1) it's an act uncharacteristic of my parents and 2) for the life of me i couldn't remember my mom's chinese name.
at that moment i felt a dizzying emotional cocktail of grave fear, guilt, panic. the feeling was akin to suddenly remembering that one had left the water to boil an hour ago before leaving for out of town. granted i never called my mom by her first name nor did i ever introduce to anyone by her chinese name, it's just not something you're not EVER EVER EVER supposed to forget. Even for a moment.
I could have cried.
But instead I kept my silently guilty composure at the table as i slurped up the toscana soup and chewed nervously on the salad. it was a couple of minutes until i remembered and was able to relax.
it was an awful couple of minutes.
i'm the worst daughter ever. even postmortem.
sighs.