getting back in the swing of things
So the past few months I've been in the throws of selfish self conscience actions. This means that I've felt that everything I was doing was so important not to be interupted by anything else.
This is hard to illuminate...
I can't stand capricorns. I just don't get how they can be so seemingly sensible in actions and so out of touch with emotions.
I'm moving back in with my mother and I don't feel the least bit embarassed anymore. Fuck this "you should be completely independent as soon as you turn 18" shit. It's perfectly fine for my mom to help me out as I'm going through college and it's also perfectly fine for me to help her out with the huge expense of being a homeowner. I'm proud to not be so culturally brainwashed into thinking that multigenerational living is disabling: in our case for these next six months, it will be mutually enabling and who knows? I might even start doing well in college.
My dad and I have lost pretty much all ability to communicate since his engagement/marriage. It's very hard to feel like you've lost family, esspecially when that family is so nuclearly small. I'm always talking about loving my family that I'm not related to so much but it doesn't negate the influence and love I hold for those genetically embedded in me and the amount of tolerance demanded by said persons.
Anyways, I was watching some pbs things and this man who taught at a school was sharing the wisdom he tries to beseach on his pupils: a problem shared is a problem solved. What happened to American wisdom in this areana? Independence is empowering and all, but as soon as you make dinner by yourself, for yourself for a week strait you start questioning the merrits of our cultural infrastructure.
So, basically this is a personally revolution time having been kicked out at 16 and thinking in my headstrong whims that I would never put myself in a delecate possition to be dependent on another person again... I am allowing myself to be dependent on another person again. Looking back on it, I've allowed myself to be depended on and both failed and lived up to that responsibility over and over again. This interdependence I'm voyaging on is not weak, but courageous and hopeful and full of love.
So, fuck politics of independence. If you want, let's start a completely unstructured co-op of livlihoods and take care of our family. I'll join you and you can join me and we can reach out to others so they might be able to as well.
oh, and I still hate money.
This is hard to illuminate...
I can't stand capricorns. I just don't get how they can be so seemingly sensible in actions and so out of touch with emotions.
I'm moving back in with my mother and I don't feel the least bit embarassed anymore. Fuck this "you should be completely independent as soon as you turn 18" shit. It's perfectly fine for my mom to help me out as I'm going through college and it's also perfectly fine for me to help her out with the huge expense of being a homeowner. I'm proud to not be so culturally brainwashed into thinking that multigenerational living is disabling: in our case for these next six months, it will be mutually enabling and who knows? I might even start doing well in college.
My dad and I have lost pretty much all ability to communicate since his engagement/marriage. It's very hard to feel like you've lost family, esspecially when that family is so nuclearly small. I'm always talking about loving my family that I'm not related to so much but it doesn't negate the influence and love I hold for those genetically embedded in me and the amount of tolerance demanded by said persons.
Anyways, I was watching some pbs things and this man who taught at a school was sharing the wisdom he tries to beseach on his pupils: a problem shared is a problem solved. What happened to American wisdom in this areana? Independence is empowering and all, but as soon as you make dinner by yourself, for yourself for a week strait you start questioning the merrits of our cultural infrastructure.
So, basically this is a personally revolution time having been kicked out at 16 and thinking in my headstrong whims that I would never put myself in a delecate possition to be dependent on another person again... I am allowing myself to be dependent on another person again. Looking back on it, I've allowed myself to be depended on and both failed and lived up to that responsibility over and over again. This interdependence I'm voyaging on is not weak, but courageous and hopeful and full of love.
So, fuck politics of independence. If you want, let's start a completely unstructured co-op of livlihoods and take care of our family. I'll join you and you can join me and we can reach out to others so they might be able to as well.
oh, and I still hate money.