Fic: Musings and What Ifs (River, Simon)
Title: Musings and What Ifs
Fandom: Firefly
Characters: River, Simon
Word Count: 413
Rating: G
Summary: He wondered sometimes, what if?
He wondered sometimes, what if? What if things were different? What if the Alliance hadn’t decided to use River’s brain as their rutting playground? What if it had been him instead? All the questions and ponderings he has only brings him more and more of the same, to tie up his mind in thoughts of what could be, when he should be focusing instead on what is: that his and River’s reality is those things did happen and River was ruined by the Alliance. She will never be the same girl as he knew Before.
On a subconscious level, he divides up their life in parts: Before and After. Before was a simpler time. It was of joking with River, eating berries from the neighbours trees, dancing and twirling and running through the wilderness near their parent’s home, and having nothing more serious than homework to worry about.
After is where they are now, onboard Serenity with criminals, a Companion and a preacher. Kaylee and Wash are more difficult to place as their jobs are indirectly involved in the crew’s heists, but he is hesitant to label them as petty thieves. He and River are the fugitives.
The crew participates in illegal activity on a daily basis. They have to in order to survive. The ‘verse is rough and not at all like the core planets that he and River grew up on. It isn’t odd to be nearly shot or killed most days, and he cleans up injuries the crew has nearly as often as they stop planet side.
After is a bleak existence following the lives they lived Before. But, he knows, they are better off now. The Alliance altered their lives forever and there is no going back. It is safer where they are now, constantly on the move, in the sky or making temporary stops at myriad planets.
Their reality is one that fits in perfectly with where they are now. There is no changing time and so they can only make the best of what they have, and that is a home, and friends, and each other. He isn’t usually an optimist person, but considering all they have been through, they are lucky to be where they are now.
The ifs and maybes still play at the edges of his thoughts, though. What if? If only things could be different. And it occurs to him that they can be different... they only need to change things for themselves.
Fandom: Firefly
Characters: River, Simon
Word Count: 413
Rating: G
Summary: He wondered sometimes, what if?
He wondered sometimes, what if? What if things were different? What if the Alliance hadn’t decided to use River’s brain as their rutting playground? What if it had been him instead? All the questions and ponderings he has only brings him more and more of the same, to tie up his mind in thoughts of what could be, when he should be focusing instead on what is: that his and River’s reality is those things did happen and River was ruined by the Alliance. She will never be the same girl as he knew Before.
On a subconscious level, he divides up their life in parts: Before and After. Before was a simpler time. It was of joking with River, eating berries from the neighbours trees, dancing and twirling and running through the wilderness near their parent’s home, and having nothing more serious than homework to worry about.
After is where they are now, onboard Serenity with criminals, a Companion and a preacher. Kaylee and Wash are more difficult to place as their jobs are indirectly involved in the crew’s heists, but he is hesitant to label them as petty thieves. He and River are the fugitives.
The crew participates in illegal activity on a daily basis. They have to in order to survive. The ‘verse is rough and not at all like the core planets that he and River grew up on. It isn’t odd to be nearly shot or killed most days, and he cleans up injuries the crew has nearly as often as they stop planet side.
After is a bleak existence following the lives they lived Before. But, he knows, they are better off now. The Alliance altered their lives forever and there is no going back. It is safer where they are now, constantly on the move, in the sky or making temporary stops at myriad planets.
Their reality is one that fits in perfectly with where they are now. There is no changing time and so they can only make the best of what they have, and that is a home, and friends, and each other. He isn’t usually an optimist person, but considering all they have been through, they are lucky to be where they are now.
The ifs and maybes still play at the edges of his thoughts, though. What if? If only things could be different. And it occurs to him that they can be different... they only need to change things for themselves.