I got into an interesting conversation with a coworker last night on this subject. She's an African-American woman whose sons have all married white women, and somehow it came up that her friends think she should be insulted by this. We've had conversations in the past about some of the culture shock involved in interracial marriages, but this
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Of course. And really, how sad is it that we have to be worried about what we say to each other on the subject of claiming our own power?
What I learned is that there are so many different types of feminism that I'll never get it right for everyone.
That's one of the big hurdles. We're so fragmented even when we agree on some of the basics. Sometimes I think it's just another type of divide and conquer, pitting the SAHM's against the executives, the ones who retained or hyphenated their names when they got married against the ones who changed them. The thing is, we do it to ourselves.
As a white woman, I feel a real lack of the second - there's no community to be supportive of other women. Instead, we're told to be bitchy and competitive with each other.
Definitely. Even the terms "bitch" and "competitive" are loaded. In general, I tend to take "bitch" as a compliment, because it usually means I'm standing firm about something I feel is important. And we absolutely should compete with each other because competition tends to drive people to do their best. But that's the key. It has to be about striving to be the best we can be, not tearing each other down. And that's what we're often encouraged to do: backstab, spread rumors and gossip about each other, pull hair. Healthy competition, on the other hand, can include being supportive of each other, and that's what I'd love to see more of.
Perhaps white women are returning to a need for male approval because it seems like the only type possible (as false as it usually is since it's built on patriarchal ideals).
That's very possible, and very sad if true.
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I know you did. You just inspired me to veer off on a little tangent. :-)
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