Why am I even at UUCN?
The discussions that came out of last week's service sounded so promising. We were looking at what we *want* to be doing as a church in our worship, what we want to get out of coming to church. Now, going by the emails, we're back to why we can't get along, with a side order of "the church is just a business." Considering some of the stuff I've heard, secondhand grant you, about people trying to silence their "opponents" by matching their pledge amount so they won't be missed if they just go away ... I'm infuriated by the very idea of looking at our community as a business.
I hope I toned that level of emotion down for the email reply I wrote.
I'm not sure a business model is even appropriate for our finances, though certainly we should have someone with good financial sense managing them. I definitely do not want to see any of your more typical marketing models used towards church growth, the annual canvass, or anything like that. I don't even see "growth" in and of itself as something we need to be striving for, in terms of increasing our numbers. Certainly, let people know we exist, so they can come check us out if they are interested. But anything more aggressive just makes my skin crawl.
So this is just one of those nights when I ask myself why I'm still there in the first place. I was fading out before Josh left. I stuck it out when he did leave, largely out of some sort of sense of duty to this group I had joined. But I was already feeling like my spiritual needs not only were not being met, but quite possibly could not be reasonably met there.
There are people I care about, with whom I would probably lose touch if I left. I imagine that is a piece of it, too.
But the insane dramafest of it all is just so draining ... and I'm not really sure what-all I'm getting back from it, other than the occasional feeling of a job well-done. But ... that's not what I need out of a spiritual community.
I seem to be having this sort of feeling come up in a lot of areas lately, with similar themes: not getting what I need, but I stay out of habit, sense of obligation, and people I don't want to lose touch with.
I hope I toned that level of emotion down for the email reply I wrote.
I'm not sure a business model is even appropriate for our finances, though certainly we should have someone with good financial sense managing them. I definitely do not want to see any of your more typical marketing models used towards church growth, the annual canvass, or anything like that. I don't even see "growth" in and of itself as something we need to be striving for, in terms of increasing our numbers. Certainly, let people know we exist, so they can come check us out if they are interested. But anything more aggressive just makes my skin crawl.
So this is just one of those nights when I ask myself why I'm still there in the first place. I was fading out before Josh left. I stuck it out when he did leave, largely out of some sort of sense of duty to this group I had joined. But I was already feeling like my spiritual needs not only were not being met, but quite possibly could not be reasonably met there.
There are people I care about, with whom I would probably lose touch if I left. I imagine that is a piece of it, too.
But the insane dramafest of it all is just so draining ... and I'm not really sure what-all I'm getting back from it, other than the occasional feeling of a job well-done. But ... that's not what I need out of a spiritual community.
I seem to be having this sort of feeling come up in a lot of areas lately, with similar themes: not getting what I need, but I stay out of habit, sense of obligation, and people I don't want to lose touch with.