"I saw your face in a crowded place / And I don't know what to do"
It's nice to be able to say that things are going ok for the first time in at least 6 months. Probably longer than that actually, but the past 6 months is when the shit actually hit the fan as opposed to just quietly settling in the corners.
The new apartment is great..it's tiny but warm, I finally got rid of the boxes and put the stuff up on the walls (I nailed screws into the wall…think anyone will notice?) and even though my living room is oddly set up because my coaxial cable isn't long enough, that is easily fixed. Curtains in the bedroom and we are good to go.
I thought I would be lonely, but I'm not..it's nice to get home, eat, workout, curl up and watch TV, read…whatever I want..and I've had plans every weekend and I'm not hurting for things to do, so life is going well. I like living alone. (I know..with my history, I'm as shocked as everyone else..)
Steve & I re-broke up for like, the fifth time this week (which is tough when you never got back together in the first place..) when I let him know that I wasn't interested in giving us another chance and seeing if we could fix it. It's just not there for me anymore. I don't feel the same way that I used to when I look at him, and quite honestly, I'm less stressed out all the time. He didn't take it really well…there was some screaming and he actually told me "You are WASTING my cell phone minutes!!"
But at any rate, we are really, honestly 100% done now and not, 75% done, 25% seeing if we have a shot..there is no shot, we are just done. And I think I'm kind of relieved about it.
*grrrr*
The new apartment is great..it's tiny but warm, I finally got rid of the boxes and put the stuff up on the walls (I nailed screws into the wall…think anyone will notice?) and even though my living room is oddly set up because my coaxial cable isn't long enough, that is easily fixed. Curtains in the bedroom and we are good to go.
I thought I would be lonely, but I'm not..it's nice to get home, eat, workout, curl up and watch TV, read…whatever I want..and I've had plans every weekend and I'm not hurting for things to do, so life is going well. I like living alone. (I know..with my history, I'm as shocked as everyone else..)
Steve & I re-broke up for like, the fifth time this week (which is tough when you never got back together in the first place..) when I let him know that I wasn't interested in giving us another chance and seeing if we could fix it. It's just not there for me anymore. I don't feel the same way that I used to when I look at him, and quite honestly, I'm less stressed out all the time. He didn't take it really well…there was some screaming and he actually told me "You are WASTING my cell phone minutes!!"
But at any rate, we are really, honestly 100% done now and not, 75% done, 25% seeing if we have a shot..there is no shot, we are just done. And I think I'm kind of relieved about it.
*grrrr*