Lost Optimism
I think Paul and I are cursed to make bad decisions. Few of the decisions that he and I have made in our adult lives have lead to a positive result. We make poor financial decisions, we make poor real estate decisions, we make poor job decisions, etc, etc, etc. I hate change and I think it's because I rarely seem to come out ahead when I change things up. Maybe we do prevent things from getting worse, but rarely do I think 'damn, that was a great call.'
That being said, we're trying again to make another big decision or two. Because Paul's employment is not the best and because of our uncertain future we decided yesterday to stop pursing fertility treatments. It's too damn expensive. Even with insurance, we paid thousands of dollars this year towards testing and it's thousands we just don't have. We need to apply it towards debt payment or repairing the house. My dishwasher hasn't worked in months, which wouldn't normally be an issue, but we have pets that tend to break dishes trying to get at food on the dirty ones.
I just keep hoping we can find a way to afford to send Paul to Parkside this spring. It's the only thing I have right now that seems to be a positive. If he can go to school then maybe one of us can have an actual career. My degree was a waste of time. Glad we're still paying for that one...
We could both really use a break. Something positive...anything.
That being said, we're trying again to make another big decision or two. Because Paul's employment is not the best and because of our uncertain future we decided yesterday to stop pursing fertility treatments. It's too damn expensive. Even with insurance, we paid thousands of dollars this year towards testing and it's thousands we just don't have. We need to apply it towards debt payment or repairing the house. My dishwasher hasn't worked in months, which wouldn't normally be an issue, but we have pets that tend to break dishes trying to get at food on the dirty ones.
I just keep hoping we can find a way to afford to send Paul to Parkside this spring. It's the only thing I have right now that seems to be a positive. If he can go to school then maybe one of us can have an actual career. My degree was a waste of time. Glad we're still paying for that one...
We could both really use a break. Something positive...anything.