(no subject)
Well I been thinking about a lot lately, it's been about 18 months and there has been 1 occasion where I had two days off in a row. At times I feel like I don't even know my own children, and my wife seems to be dying of loneliness, and stressed over taking care of the house. Soon it's going to be harder. I love raising kids, but it's torture to go without seeing them much, and it's even worse to see my wife suffer. Sometimes I dream of a day when I don't need to work, when the house is clean, the laundry is done, yard work is done, and the car is running, the pets are healthy, so I could TRULY relax and play with my kids and teach them. I just hate having so much on my mind when I'm trying to bond with my wife and kids. What I wouldn't give to have 8-6 job with weekends off and benefits, dang I think I'm getting a hard-on. All it would take is working and going to school for about 2 years, missing 2 of the best years in my childrens' life. Won't miss as much as I would if I don't change. Sometimes I feel completely incapable of making my wife happy, and I have no two or four year plan that can change that. Spending time together helps sometimes, but our common interests in religion and politics is a double edged sword, when we talk about electronic music we can appreciate our differences, as though we enjoy that we are knowledgeable enough to see the differences in drum and bass and trance. Differences in politics and religion even when really small can turn into heated debates fast. Wish I knew how to form a paragraph. I'm tired of crying to a machine, time to eat.