(no subject)
i'm so frustrated that even with all the good things going on in my life, i am inevitably inconvenienced and violated by some fucking meth head or something who decided to steal my identity.
i feel like crying. i basically have no control in this situation. cuz if you're too timid, no one does anything and if you're too aggressive, they get pissed at you and don't want to help.
i'm 24 years old and feel like there are so many things that i wish i had more control over at this time in my life.
there are many things right now that are slipping out of my control a little bit (or, to be more accurate, i'm DISCOVERING that they are out of my control). i want to be so "together" and in so many ways i feel like i am. emotionally, mentally. i have an amazing marriage which is more than a lot of 30, 40, 50 year olds can say. i have a great place to live in my favorite city and i walk to work everyday where i get to create art and meet interesting people...
bbuuuu-uuut...at the same time, i feel like my career is overwhelming. like i don't have a handle on how to gain a clientele and how to sell myself. i have good days and re-book almost everyone and sell 80-100 dollars worth of product. but, then i'll have a day where i rebook no one and sell no product...and i know that I'M the difference. it's like sometimes i don't believe in my skill enough or something. but that's fucking retarded cuz i am very skilled. and i'm very caring. which should be the perfect combo and should enable me to gain a clientele and become very successful, but unfortunately, i think i get too weak.
gah...i'm way too strong to be so weak.
on another note, we've switched banks and i am praying with all my energy that this doesn't go on and on and on...i've done so much to resolve it and i know i don't deserve it.
i feel like crying. i basically have no control in this situation. cuz if you're too timid, no one does anything and if you're too aggressive, they get pissed at you and don't want to help.
i'm 24 years old and feel like there are so many things that i wish i had more control over at this time in my life.
there are many things right now that are slipping out of my control a little bit (or, to be more accurate, i'm DISCOVERING that they are out of my control). i want to be so "together" and in so many ways i feel like i am. emotionally, mentally. i have an amazing marriage which is more than a lot of 30, 40, 50 year olds can say. i have a great place to live in my favorite city and i walk to work everyday where i get to create art and meet interesting people...
bbuuuu-uuut...at the same time, i feel like my career is overwhelming. like i don't have a handle on how to gain a clientele and how to sell myself. i have good days and re-book almost everyone and sell 80-100 dollars worth of product. but, then i'll have a day where i rebook no one and sell no product...and i know that I'M the difference. it's like sometimes i don't believe in my skill enough or something. but that's fucking retarded cuz i am very skilled. and i'm very caring. which should be the perfect combo and should enable me to gain a clientele and become very successful, but unfortunately, i think i get too weak.
gah...i'm way too strong to be so weak.
on another note, we've switched banks and i am praying with all my energy that this doesn't go on and on and on...i've done so much to resolve it and i know i don't deserve it.