"Series" is both singular and plural
It's kind of like "deer" or "fish." Talking about "the Batman series" and "the Batman and James Bond series" are equally correct. (And if they're not, I just made them so, lol.) It's Monday, May 3rd, and today's old reviews are of three movie series.
Waiting
2.5 stars
Having seen and enjoyed Van Wilder, I think I had higher expectations for Waiting than perhaps I should have. Plus, having worked in food service before, a lot of the lameness of the job that Waiting portrayed, despite being fairly accurate, made me roll my eyes and shake my head more than it made me laugh. In terms of casting, on the one hand I really like Justin Long and Luis Guzman, and all of the variously hot females were nice, and Dane Cook's cameo was pretty funny, and Ryan Reynolds didn't suck. On the other hand, Ryan Reynolds wasn't amazing, many of the characters were just irritating, and Andy Milonakis can suck my balls. For serious, I freaking hate that kid. Plus the film was just more disgusting than it was funny, and its "positive message" seemed like it was tacked on as an afterthought. But yes, it was pretty funny.
Still Waiting
1.5 stars
So you've seen Waiting. Now take everything that was funny about it, age it three years, push the envelopes even farther, and remove about 2/3 of the actual humorous dialogue. There, now you've got Still Waiting. I have to give it some credit for the directions it went with the Hooters spin-off as competition, and Maggie Lawson's (I think?) Naomi was still funny to watch, but really this movie is just the stale, reheated leftovers from its prequel. Justin Long and Luiz Guzman downgraded from funny to merely annoying, most other characters were incredibly pathetic, and Andy Milonakis still makes me want to puke and/or hit something just watching him. I hate to give Ryan Reynolds and Dane Cook this much credit when they don't really deserve it, but their absence from this movie was probably one main reason it had to scramble to desperately (and unsuccessfully) for new material. Sub-optimal all-around.
Underworld
3 stars
I was surprised at how much this move did not suck. Kate Beckinsale pulled an admirable Anne-Hathway-in-Havoc by doing a role unlike anything she had done previously, and playing it to the hilt. Bill Nighy's presence was also awesome. The shapeshifting and combat scenes were more than adequate, the plot was not deep but did not need to be, and the stormy, always-night cityscape was realistically chilling. Not quite on par with the first Blade movie, but definitely enjoyable.
Underworld: Evolution
3.5 stars
Having recently seen Rise of the Lycans in theatres, I went back and watched the first two (really the final two) Underworld movies to renew my perspective and to remember how the trilogy ended. And while U:E holds a very interesting place, being the crappy-second-movie that turned into the not-so-crappy-third movie, so to speak, it extends what both Underworld and Lycans put in place to a logical and action-packed conclusion. The only question it doesn't answer is that of how Alexander Corvinus obtained immortality himself, as the legends say that only his sons were turned to immortals, but since (a) Corvinus' character moves the plot forward and (b) Corvinus is played by Sir Derek Jacobi, that one unclear point does not ruin the movie. The film also does itself a huge favor by starting EXACTLY where its prequel left off, saving itself from the curse of heavy-handed passage-of-time sequences.
As before, Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman are quite satisfactory, and Bill Nighy relishes his villainy as captivatingly as ever. It is also somewhat satisfying to learn the fate of the character Tanis, who plays a central role in Rise of the Lycans but does not appear in Underworld.
My recommendation: wait until Rise of the Lycans comes out on DVD, then watch all three movies in order in an evening or over a weekend. This is one trilogy where getting all the story at once works much better than splitting it up to avoid saturation.
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
3.5 stars
I have to give the makers of this series mad props for making this third film a prequel rather than a sequel. Not that a sequel wouldn't have been cool, but Underworld: Evolution ended in such a decisive fashion (i.e. with all but the two main characters dead) that moving forward from there would have taken some very risky ingenuity. Moving backwards to flesh out an already-known historical plotline, on the other hand, was a stroke of genius. Getting more vampiric mileage out of Bill Nighy was also a great idea, and Rhona Mitra made a solid Kate Backinsale clone. Good stuff, all told.
The Transporter
3.5 stars
I would like to call this movie Jason Statham doing what Jason Statham does best. Unfortunately, it isn't exactly. What Jason Statham does best, I believe, is action with a wry comedic twist, or comedy where he gets to kick a bit of ass from time to time. And while he is proving to be quite the action hero of late, I am of the opinion that far, far too many of his films push him into the realm of all-action-all-the-time, and away from the priceless middle ground of his roles in Snatch, The Italian Job, and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels--roles where his great wit and comic timing have as much of a chance to shine as his martial arts and driving abilities do.
In The Transporter the comedy is left to Francois Berleand's bumbling but good-natured detective and a few awkward moments involving the admittedly dead-sexy (if hard-to-understand) Shu Qi. Statham's dry sarcasm makes only a few brief appearances. That said, the driving and martial arts action scenes in The Transporter are indeed freaking amazing. Statham's unshakeable calm behind the wheel while all about him are going crazy makes him the ideal driver, in the tradition of Clive Owen's character in the excellent BMW films. And his fighting ability, including the penchant for turning literally anything that comes to hand into a weapon, is just as jaw-dropping.
So really, while I can bitch about the lack of comedy in Jason Statham movies these days, I absolutely can't complain about the man's quality as an action star. The gimlet-eyed stare, the cut physique, the martial arts expertise, the flawless gun work, the indomitable force of will, the ability to just go crazy on an enemy, and the stunts involving everything from a car to a light fixture to the door of a truck to a bus luggage rack to a barrel of oil and a pair of bike pedals...Jason Statham has it all. Until the world discovered the awesomeness that is Daniel Craig, I had Statham pegged as the next James Bond. I've also heard him called a British Vin Diesel, but these days I think Vin is more of an American Jason Statham. And despite Statham's earlier work, The Transporter is where his action career got started. So while I personally may not like the exact direction it took him, I can't argue with the fact that this movie made him the star he is today. And I do appreciate that about it.
The Transporter 2
3 stars
Welcome to Jason Statham is Awesome, part 2. Having torn up and blown up most of the south of France in the first film, transporter Frank Martin has relocated to Miami, where through a twist of favors, kidnapping and his own heart of gold, he ends up taking on a drug lord to save the life of a young boy. Along the way, he tears up and blows up Miami much like he did the Riviera. And it's awesome.
Okay, so that description is a bit simplistic, but really it covers most of the movie. Jason Statham is fast becoming the next Jackie Chan, only with a car: put him into a situation, any situation, then point him at a bad guy, and sit back to watch asses get kicked and car stunts be pulled off in increasingly clever, risky and innovative ways, rarely involving deep plots but very often involving everyday objects just sitting nearby. This sequel adds the issue of protecting a minor character, as in many video games: not only does Statham have to fight off the baddies, but he also has to prevent them from hurting an innocent, creating several interesting angles within the fights themselves.
The supporting cast of this film is pretty hit-or-miss. On the plus side, you do have Amber Valletta, who proved with her role in Hitch that she could act well, and who plays a genuinely sympathetic wife and mother role here. On the minus side, though, you have Kate Nauta, who (despite having a killer bod shown off in pink lingerie), is just plain WEIRD. Overly made-up, never shown in anything BUT said pink lingerie, sociopathic, gun-happy and having no restraint whatever, her presence onscreen is like a flashlight shown directly into the viewer's eyes. Just looking at her hurts. Killing her off a good while before the end of the movie (sorry for the spoiler) was one of the best decisions this film made.
Despite Nauta's overdone flashiness, though, Transporter 2 is a solid thrill ride that showcases Statham's dynamic action presence perfectly. Is it deep? Hell no. But it's awesome, and it's fun, and that's exactly what it's supposed to be.
The Transporter 3
2.5 stars
Now we continue in the series of Jason Statham Awesometude. Unfortunately, while I really enjoyed a lot of this third installment, there isn't a whole lot I can say about this one that didn't get covered in my reviews of the first two. Statham is at his usual grim-jawed action-hero best, and continues to kick ass accordingly. I was gratified to see Francois Berleand play a slightly more central role than he did in the second movie, and thus to observe the friendship between him and the transporter Frank Martin develop further than previously shown. Natalya Rudakova and Robert Knepper were not particularly remarkable, but neither did they stink up the screen.
Probably the best part of this movie was the gimmick of having Frank be literally held within a certain distance of his car. While much of the rest of the movie hobbled along from action sequence to action sequence, the times when Frank had to chase after his own car or otherwise work to keep within the bounds of the exploding bracelet were definite bright spots.
That's...really all I have to say. It was a fun movie, but it didn't quite live up to the first two. And if they make a fourth one, something tells me it won't live up to this one, either.
More to come, as always. Thanks for reading!
FBS
Waiting
2.5 stars
Having seen and enjoyed Van Wilder, I think I had higher expectations for Waiting than perhaps I should have. Plus, having worked in food service before, a lot of the lameness of the job that Waiting portrayed, despite being fairly accurate, made me roll my eyes and shake my head more than it made me laugh. In terms of casting, on the one hand I really like Justin Long and Luis Guzman, and all of the variously hot females were nice, and Dane Cook's cameo was pretty funny, and Ryan Reynolds didn't suck. On the other hand, Ryan Reynolds wasn't amazing, many of the characters were just irritating, and Andy Milonakis can suck my balls. For serious, I freaking hate that kid. Plus the film was just more disgusting than it was funny, and its "positive message" seemed like it was tacked on as an afterthought. But yes, it was pretty funny.
Still Waiting
1.5 stars
So you've seen Waiting. Now take everything that was funny about it, age it three years, push the envelopes even farther, and remove about 2/3 of the actual humorous dialogue. There, now you've got Still Waiting. I have to give it some credit for the directions it went with the Hooters spin-off as competition, and Maggie Lawson's (I think?) Naomi was still funny to watch, but really this movie is just the stale, reheated leftovers from its prequel. Justin Long and Luiz Guzman downgraded from funny to merely annoying, most other characters were incredibly pathetic, and Andy Milonakis still makes me want to puke and/or hit something just watching him. I hate to give Ryan Reynolds and Dane Cook this much credit when they don't really deserve it, but their absence from this movie was probably one main reason it had to scramble to desperately (and unsuccessfully) for new material. Sub-optimal all-around.
Underworld
3 stars
I was surprised at how much this move did not suck. Kate Beckinsale pulled an admirable Anne-Hathway-in-Havoc by doing a role unlike anything she had done previously, and playing it to the hilt. Bill Nighy's presence was also awesome. The shapeshifting and combat scenes were more than adequate, the plot was not deep but did not need to be, and the stormy, always-night cityscape was realistically chilling. Not quite on par with the first Blade movie, but definitely enjoyable.
Underworld: Evolution
3.5 stars
Having recently seen Rise of the Lycans in theatres, I went back and watched the first two (really the final two) Underworld movies to renew my perspective and to remember how the trilogy ended. And while U:E holds a very interesting place, being the crappy-second-movie that turned into the not-so-crappy-third movie, so to speak, it extends what both Underworld and Lycans put in place to a logical and action-packed conclusion. The only question it doesn't answer is that of how Alexander Corvinus obtained immortality himself, as the legends say that only his sons were turned to immortals, but since (a) Corvinus' character moves the plot forward and (b) Corvinus is played by Sir Derek Jacobi, that one unclear point does not ruin the movie. The film also does itself a huge favor by starting EXACTLY where its prequel left off, saving itself from the curse of heavy-handed passage-of-time sequences.
As before, Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman are quite satisfactory, and Bill Nighy relishes his villainy as captivatingly as ever. It is also somewhat satisfying to learn the fate of the character Tanis, who plays a central role in Rise of the Lycans but does not appear in Underworld.
My recommendation: wait until Rise of the Lycans comes out on DVD, then watch all three movies in order in an evening or over a weekend. This is one trilogy where getting all the story at once works much better than splitting it up to avoid saturation.
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
3.5 stars
I have to give the makers of this series mad props for making this third film a prequel rather than a sequel. Not that a sequel wouldn't have been cool, but Underworld: Evolution ended in such a decisive fashion (i.e. with all but the two main characters dead) that moving forward from there would have taken some very risky ingenuity. Moving backwards to flesh out an already-known historical plotline, on the other hand, was a stroke of genius. Getting more vampiric mileage out of Bill Nighy was also a great idea, and Rhona Mitra made a solid Kate Backinsale clone. Good stuff, all told.
The Transporter
3.5 stars
I would like to call this movie Jason Statham doing what Jason Statham does best. Unfortunately, it isn't exactly. What Jason Statham does best, I believe, is action with a wry comedic twist, or comedy where he gets to kick a bit of ass from time to time. And while he is proving to be quite the action hero of late, I am of the opinion that far, far too many of his films push him into the realm of all-action-all-the-time, and away from the priceless middle ground of his roles in Snatch, The Italian Job, and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels--roles where his great wit and comic timing have as much of a chance to shine as his martial arts and driving abilities do.
In The Transporter the comedy is left to Francois Berleand's bumbling but good-natured detective and a few awkward moments involving the admittedly dead-sexy (if hard-to-understand) Shu Qi. Statham's dry sarcasm makes only a few brief appearances. That said, the driving and martial arts action scenes in The Transporter are indeed freaking amazing. Statham's unshakeable calm behind the wheel while all about him are going crazy makes him the ideal driver, in the tradition of Clive Owen's character in the excellent BMW films. And his fighting ability, including the penchant for turning literally anything that comes to hand into a weapon, is just as jaw-dropping.
So really, while I can bitch about the lack of comedy in Jason Statham movies these days, I absolutely can't complain about the man's quality as an action star. The gimlet-eyed stare, the cut physique, the martial arts expertise, the flawless gun work, the indomitable force of will, the ability to just go crazy on an enemy, and the stunts involving everything from a car to a light fixture to the door of a truck to a bus luggage rack to a barrel of oil and a pair of bike pedals...Jason Statham has it all. Until the world discovered the awesomeness that is Daniel Craig, I had Statham pegged as the next James Bond. I've also heard him called a British Vin Diesel, but these days I think Vin is more of an American Jason Statham. And despite Statham's earlier work, The Transporter is where his action career got started. So while I personally may not like the exact direction it took him, I can't argue with the fact that this movie made him the star he is today. And I do appreciate that about it.
The Transporter 2
3 stars
Welcome to Jason Statham is Awesome, part 2. Having torn up and blown up most of the south of France in the first film, transporter Frank Martin has relocated to Miami, where through a twist of favors, kidnapping and his own heart of gold, he ends up taking on a drug lord to save the life of a young boy. Along the way, he tears up and blows up Miami much like he did the Riviera. And it's awesome.
Okay, so that description is a bit simplistic, but really it covers most of the movie. Jason Statham is fast becoming the next Jackie Chan, only with a car: put him into a situation, any situation, then point him at a bad guy, and sit back to watch asses get kicked and car stunts be pulled off in increasingly clever, risky and innovative ways, rarely involving deep plots but very often involving everyday objects just sitting nearby. This sequel adds the issue of protecting a minor character, as in many video games: not only does Statham have to fight off the baddies, but he also has to prevent them from hurting an innocent, creating several interesting angles within the fights themselves.
The supporting cast of this film is pretty hit-or-miss. On the plus side, you do have Amber Valletta, who proved with her role in Hitch that she could act well, and who plays a genuinely sympathetic wife and mother role here. On the minus side, though, you have Kate Nauta, who (despite having a killer bod shown off in pink lingerie), is just plain WEIRD. Overly made-up, never shown in anything BUT said pink lingerie, sociopathic, gun-happy and having no restraint whatever, her presence onscreen is like a flashlight shown directly into the viewer's eyes. Just looking at her hurts. Killing her off a good while before the end of the movie (sorry for the spoiler) was one of the best decisions this film made.
Despite Nauta's overdone flashiness, though, Transporter 2 is a solid thrill ride that showcases Statham's dynamic action presence perfectly. Is it deep? Hell no. But it's awesome, and it's fun, and that's exactly what it's supposed to be.
The Transporter 3
2.5 stars
Now we continue in the series of Jason Statham Awesometude. Unfortunately, while I really enjoyed a lot of this third installment, there isn't a whole lot I can say about this one that didn't get covered in my reviews of the first two. Statham is at his usual grim-jawed action-hero best, and continues to kick ass accordingly. I was gratified to see Francois Berleand play a slightly more central role than he did in the second movie, and thus to observe the friendship between him and the transporter Frank Martin develop further than previously shown. Natalya Rudakova and Robert Knepper were not particularly remarkable, but neither did they stink up the screen.
Probably the best part of this movie was the gimmick of having Frank be literally held within a certain distance of his car. While much of the rest of the movie hobbled along from action sequence to action sequence, the times when Frank had to chase after his own car or otherwise work to keep within the bounds of the exploding bracelet were definite bright spots.
That's...really all I have to say. It was a fun movie, but it didn't quite live up to the first two. And if they make a fourth one, something tells me it won't live up to this one, either.
More to come, as always. Thanks for reading!
FBS