Van Halen - Right Now

[fireballx777]

Right now... I should be writing my paper that's due tomorrow. But I'm writing this instead. Because it's not writing that I dislike -- no, far from it -- it's pointless busywork that vexes me. I understand the neccessity of having hard-and-fast rules, and the inability to bend those rules, especially in a large university. But really, could they not write those rules to take in mind that English major have probably already taken the equivalent of a 200 level writing course? Is it really neccessary to stick such a specific, shitty course in the core requirements? This isn't hard; this isn't challenging. I'm not going to learn anything new in this class. Primarily (honestly) because I'm going into this class with such scorn that I'm not going to give it a chance. And I'm not going to put any real effort skill into any of the writing for this class. These papers will be a waste of my time and the teacher's. I look back at the little that I've already written, and I find it to be marginal. And I don't care. If I get a C in this class, I'll walk away and never look back. And I'm almost certainly going to get at least a C. Probably better, but let me reiterate: marginal work, lack of concern, pre-existing scorn. I was planning on writing maybe... a page tonight, and doing the rest tomorrow morning before class. My excuse for such things used to be that "I do my best writing under pressure." That's not true at all. I do my best writing when it's 5 in the morning and I've gone past the point of being tired into the realm of detached fatigue. But the sort of writing I do in that state isn't the sort of writing you want in a "paper." No, I put off writing papers until the absolute last minute not because I do my best work then, but because I do my fastest work then. I speed through whatever it is I have to write, hand it in, get my B a week later, and move on with my life with minimal time wasted. The only reason I'm still up now instead of doing that is because I remembered as I was about to go to sleep that I have laundry that needs to be done. So now I have to wait for that, so I figured I might as well get some more of the paper done, so there's less to do tomorrow. But I again find myself realizing that, unless I absolutely have to, I cannot bring myself to write this crap. I mean fuck, I just spent 10 minutes writing this Livejournal entry, and it's about as long as the amount I've got written in the paper so far, which I've spent about an hour and a half procrastinating. It'll only take me an hour tomorrow to finish it. How do I know that? Because I'm only going to have an hour tomorrow to finish it. Now if you'll excuse me, my laundry should just about be done washing, so I have to move it to the dryer and then spend another 40 minutes not writing my paper.

Doing things early usually pays off in the long run. Procrastination always pays off immediately.