Childish rants
Okay, so I broke down a little bit today. I knew it was coming, actually expected it to happen sooner(usually the tears come the day before a big family thing, a la Christmas a few years ago, or on the actual day), but it still sucked. And it annoys me that I can't even pinpoint what made me cry. I like knowing. I like being able to point at something that was done and think, Yes. That was the breaking point. Here, it was more an accumulation of things that eventually made me want to hurt someone, and the resulting frustration when I couldn't.
Yesterday wasn't even awful. I was coerced into playing cards with the Fluffies and dad, which gets irritating after a point because my dad likes to analyze plays and tell us what we did wrong. Then I made lunch for them(again not a surprise. You think my sister lifts a finger when there's someone else to do something?), but I just put on loud music so I that didn't even bother me. Eventually we came to my house, I finished painting Kathryn's room, we did dinner(which was fine even though my uncle forgot to get chicken so I had no main dish to eat), and watched fireworks. My dad almost blew off his hand with a show of the stupidity that I have begun to associate with 4th of July(he's like a kid around fireworks--lots of excitement but absolutely no common sense). But still, the only casualty of the night was his thumb nail.
Today I just didn't feel right. I can't explain it besides that. Part of it's the whole I can't sleep thing, which I seriously hope to remedy tonight. But my uncle is driving me nuts. He orders me and my mother around like we're here to do his bidding. Seriously, he made this whole "we have to clean out the garage" speech so my mom came over, and what does he do? Sleeps on the couch. Thanks, that's real productive.
And he smashed a bunch of my flowers. And he uses my food products, which would be fine if he told me before I was ready to use them in my cooking, but he doesn't. Worse, he uses Kathryn's stuff without asking, and I'm the one who gets to look like an ass when she asks me if I know where something is and he used/ate it.
Ugh, and then my mom gets really bitchy, and we fight. So we're not really talking right now, because I get pissed and she for some reason still feels the need to defend him even when she's pissed, too. And it bothers me that she tries to fix things that he's messed up. I don't want her to fix it, I want him to because it's his fault. If she replaces what he takes, it isn't right. That's probably childish and stubborn. I can't help it. I'm not always(often) proud of the way I act when I get angry.
On a random note, I'm pretty sure my uncle's girlfriend of the moment, Berna, is not human. Fluff and I took over the living room television last night(it's my house right now, damn it, and I was tired of NCIS reruns!) and and everyone watched the first 3 episodes of Glee, and Berna laughed once. Once! Even my uncles were amused, but her? One laugh. Uh, not human. Not. Even. Close.
One day I will write pleasant things in my journal. I only ever think to write down the I want to lock myself in a room with ice cream and never come out stuff. Poor journal.
Yesterday wasn't even awful. I was coerced into playing cards with the Fluffies and dad, which gets irritating after a point because my dad likes to analyze plays and tell us what we did wrong. Then I made lunch for them(again not a surprise. You think my sister lifts a finger when there's someone else to do something?), but I just put on loud music so I that didn't even bother me. Eventually we came to my house, I finished painting Kathryn's room, we did dinner(which was fine even though my uncle forgot to get chicken so I had no main dish to eat), and watched fireworks. My dad almost blew off his hand with a show of the stupidity that I have begun to associate with 4th of July(he's like a kid around fireworks--lots of excitement but absolutely no common sense). But still, the only casualty of the night was his thumb nail.
Today I just didn't feel right. I can't explain it besides that. Part of it's the whole I can't sleep thing, which I seriously hope to remedy tonight. But my uncle is driving me nuts. He orders me and my mother around like we're here to do his bidding. Seriously, he made this whole "we have to clean out the garage" speech so my mom came over, and what does he do? Sleeps on the couch. Thanks, that's real productive.
And he smashed a bunch of my flowers. And he uses my food products, which would be fine if he told me before I was ready to use them in my cooking, but he doesn't. Worse, he uses Kathryn's stuff without asking, and I'm the one who gets to look like an ass when she asks me if I know where something is and he used/ate it.
Ugh, and then my mom gets really bitchy, and we fight. So we're not really talking right now, because I get pissed and she for some reason still feels the need to defend him even when she's pissed, too. And it bothers me that she tries to fix things that he's messed up. I don't want her to fix it, I want him to because it's his fault. If she replaces what he takes, it isn't right. That's probably childish and stubborn. I can't help it. I'm not always(often) proud of the way I act when I get angry.
On a random note, I'm pretty sure my uncle's girlfriend of the moment, Berna, is not human. Fluff and I took over the living room television last night(it's my house right now, damn it, and I was tired of NCIS reruns!) and and everyone watched the first 3 episodes of Glee, and Berna laughed once. Once! Even my uncles were amused, but her? One laugh. Uh, not human. Not. Even. Close.
One day I will write pleasant things in my journal. I only ever think to write down the I want to lock myself in a room with ice cream and never come out stuff. Poor journal.