MediocreMair.
never.
Last nite-Chicago with the cousions. (amazing x a million)
I cant wait to move back to the city. It's something thats just in me, I feel happiest when I'm amongst the chaos and the hustle and bustle.
Tonight-Milwaukee with the bestest.
Chasing tour buses.
Brett making bee eff eff's with Tom's guitar tech.
Oh how I love my budds.
Monday-Maybe Cleveland? We shall see where the wind takes me.
In gen:
I need to shut up and listen to myself.
Talking with Steph and Mom they reconfirm in me why I shouldnt doubt myself.
I always answer my own questions.
I try to be open minded but if its for the wrong (selfish)reasons it just isnt going to work out.
This time (even if it may be alone time) is happening for a particular reason.
I have the next week off from work. This time will be spent in the sun. But also I will begin the long and awesome process of becoming a master make up artist. Honestly, this I want to become the main forcus in my life. Yes, I know all the other shtuff will come with time.
Doors I feel are opening. Besides finacial stress (which will always be there) I feel Im on the verge of doing some great things.
Man, honestly I know who I am and the reason why I've been feeling so damn plagued and botherd and confused by men and my career and settling in life in general was b/c I was trying to mold and compromise myself thinking it would make me a better person and open myself up to new ideas and parts of life when in actuality it was doing the oppisite. It was making me build up my walls more b/c I was forcing these ideas into my head.
So, even if it kills me and yes it may very well Im just going to accept the fact that Im single (stillll) and yes continue to be a sucker for dudes that are out of my reach (ie:jessie, AK, yummmmmmy) and take advantage of as much of this life as I can.