Sorta sad today
I went on Myspace today and realized that almost all the girls that I went to high school with are either mothers already or pregnant. One of them was married only a month or so after us, and she's due in February. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insane with jealousy or have the baby-bug so bad that I'm ready to start trying (well actually I do want to start trying), but our schedules just won't allow for a child right now. I work nights, and Mark works 24 hour shifts, so there are some nights (like last night for instance) when no one is home at all. How the heck are we supposed to have children when no one is home to take care of them? There are no day cares that offer night watch! Mark and I talked about it last night, and he said that we'd figure something out when the time came. I've never been a big planner, but I think that should be something we figure out before! And then what about the time when I'm out of work with no income? What then?
It's just a little sad for me I guess to think about all these women having beautiful babies with the ones they love, and here I am talking about a damn puppy all the time. I feel bad because Mark really wanted to have kids before he was 30, and he just turned 28 the past May. I've always had this nagging feeling that I wouldn't be able to carry children, and I'm so afraid that it is true. There is no medical reason that I know of that I shouldn't be able to, and no one has ever told me that conceiving would be a problem, but I'm just scared that we won't be able to have any babies of our own. I've always had that feeling, and I don't know why. Maybe (and hopefully this is true) I'm just a worry-wort.
I'm done now. Sorry to bring anyone down.
It's just a little sad for me I guess to think about all these women having beautiful babies with the ones they love, and here I am talking about a damn puppy all the time. I feel bad because Mark really wanted to have kids before he was 30, and he just turned 28 the past May. I've always had this nagging feeling that I wouldn't be able to carry children, and I'm so afraid that it is true. There is no medical reason that I know of that I shouldn't be able to, and no one has ever told me that conceiving would be a problem, but I'm just scared that we won't be able to have any babies of our own. I've always had that feeling, and I don't know why. Maybe (and hopefully this is true) I'm just a worry-wort.
I'm done now. Sorry to bring anyone down.