XI Part 7
I'm baack! I'm sorry this took so long, especially when I promised I would get the next update sooner. I got sidetracked by a wonderful Phantom of the Opera/Code Geass piece known as Chains of Fantasia. Blame lawlip0p! She was the one who got me into the collaboration in the first place!
By the way, this chapter is self editted because my beta is busy, so I'm sorry if it doesn't flow or anything like that.
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Suzaku woke up to an inexplicable combination of soft heat and hard floor. Groaning softly, he opened his eyes to another face, and for a moment he just stared in dumb, sleepy confusion. Then realization set in, and Suzaku wanted to wrench himself out of the prince’s grasp, horrified and more than a little frightened, but he forced himself to stay still in his master’s arms. This was where he had been placed, and this was where he would stay.
Last night was fuzzy, full of half remembered images he didn’t want to think about, and Suzaku wasn’t really sure which recollections were real and which were part of the nightmare.
But he remembered his master’s arms around him, his soft voice whispering words incomprehensible, but gentle and soothing. They had guided him from his horror world of memories, into a more peaceful sleep than Suzaku could remember having in years.
Suzaku was baffled. What could Lelouch possibly gain by comforting him, by holding him gently on the floor? He was an Eleven, a slave. It made no sense, Lelouch made no sense, and he hadn’t from day one. His actions contradicted all the social rules Suzaku had been taught to follow, everything his trainers had drilled into him, and all Suzaku could do was tiptoe around him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Lelouch to show his true nature. It had to happen eventually, it always did, and some part of Suzaku wished he would just give up the farce so he could understand again.
He looked at his master’s face, his beautiful face, innocent in sleep, arms still securely around Suzaku’s waist, tender, protective, and for the first time in a very long while, Suzaku felt as if he could cry. Because it couldn’t be true, but oh how he wished it could be.
He watched Lelouch rouse slowly, his eyelids flickering partially open, catching Suzaku’s face, and he smiled. A sweet, warm smile that put a wrench in Suzaku’s stomach, and he just wanted to scream at him to stop this torture. Because he had learned to live without warmth, without kindness, and one simple smile was threatening to tear down the walls he had so painstakingly built between himself and his harsh world.
You already own my body. I refuse to give my soul.
“Good morning,” Lelouch murmured. “Are you feeling better now?”
“I’m sorry if I disturbed your rest, Master,” Suzaku said quietly.
Lelouch shook his head. “No one should suffer alone when they’re tormented by such nightmares.”
Suzaku scrutinized the prince’s face. As far as he could tell, Lelouch was being sincere, but he had never been any good at divining deception.
“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me what they were about?” Lelouch asked.
Suzaku stared at him, his eyes wide with horror at the very idea, and Lelouch softly shook his head.
“I thought not. Very well, I won’t pry into something that is none of my business,” Lelouch answered with a sigh, gently disentangling his grip from Suzaku’s waist. “I suppose it’s time to get up. Face the day, right?”
Suzaku took this to mean that he was dismissed to start his daily duties, and scrambled upright. He dressed quickly, his fingers fumbling on the buttons of his vest in his haste to depart. Being here was dangerous. Lelouch was dangerous.
But out of the corner of his eye, he caught the faint darkening around Lelouch’s white neck, the purple beginnings of a bruise.
“Suzaku! S-stop…please! You’re…k-killing…me!”
Suzaku’s hand reached out without his conscious control, tracing the wound. “I did that, didn’t I?”
Lelouch averted his eyes, and Suzaku had his answer.
Suzaku took a step backwards. “I-I’m sorry!”
Panic coursed through Suzaku, thoughts racing. He had tried to choke his master! Surely now Lelouch realized he had made a mistake in his purchase. He would send him back to the slave traders, to Bradley. And his training would begin anew to pound out his cursed rebellion, that is if he wasn’t disposed of, for who would want a defective pet? Suzaku wasn’t even sure which fate was worse.
“Please, Master!” Suzaku begged. “Forgive me! Don’t send me away! I can’t go back there, I can’t!”
Lelouch looked up in surprise, quickly putting a placating hand on the frightened slave’s shoulder. “Suzaku, calm yourself. It’s okay. Really it’s my own fault for trying to wake someone in such a state. No one’s going to send you away.”
And Lelouch meant that. He would never send Suzaku back to that man, even though deep down he knew that he had good cause to do so. But Lelouch couldn’t believe that Suzaku meant him any harm, despite his actions. Not when he looked at him with such terrified, haunted eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Suzaku whispered.
“I know, and I forgive you. Look, I’m just bruised, see? I’m fine.”
But it could have been more, it could have gone much further than a mere bruise, and they both knew it. The fact that Lelouch was willing to overlook that, without punishment or the slightest hint of anger, even saying that he himself was to blame…it was yet another thing about Lelouch vi Britannia that Suzaku simply couldn’t explain.
Eventually, after making sure Suzaku had regained his composure, Lelouch went down to breakfast. Suzaku stayed in the room, on the weak pretense that he was tidying up, but he couldn’t focus, his mind replaying what he remembered from last night over and over. He tried to rationalize Lelouch’s behavior, tried to put it in some kind of sense, and ultimately failing because there wasn’t any.
The knot in Suzaku’s stomach grew ever larger with the memory of Lelouch’s touch, his smile, his voice. And Suzaku was utterly terrified; for in the back of his mind, he knew he was approaching something dangerously close to hope.
o0o
Suzaku didn’t make sense. Lelouch was trying to be patient and gentle, but the kinder he was, the more Suzaku seemed to close himself off. His behavior was illogical.
Then again, so was Lelouch’s. He couldn’t explain why it mattered to him that the slave felt comfortable around him. There was nothing wrong with showing Suzaku courtesy, but at the end of the day his feelings were unimportant. He was property, nothing more.
But property couldn't tremble with the horror of unspeakable nightmares, wasn’t warm with body heat as it rested in his arms, couldn’t look up at his with eyes wide and desperate, begging not to be thrown away.
“I can’t go back there, I can’t!”
What had those slavers done to the boy? He couldn’t forget the mad look in Bradley’s eyes as he ran electricity through Suzaku’s body, dismissing his pain and claiming he could take even more.
Lelouch wasn’t a fool, he knew that being a slave was far from pleasant, but the knowledge had always been distant, so far removed from his life it had hardly mattered. But Suzaku was there, right in front of him; his suffering was real, and the question ran through Lelouch's mind over and over: What did the slave dream about at night?
“What are you thinking about, Lelouch?” Schneizel asked as he calmly buttered his toast. “Usually you reserve such serious expressions to chess.”
Lelouch smiled and shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“Is it about that lovely young slave of yours?”
Lelouch started, and Schneizel smiled. “I do hope that issue with Nunnally was sorted out.”
“It was merely a misunderstanding,” Lelouch assured his brother. “Nunnally invited him in.”
“That’s good. I would hate for you to have to dispose of a slave before getting the chance to truly use him,” Schneizel replied, lips curling suggestively.
Lelouch flushed. “I have no intention of using Suzaku for such a vulgar purpose!”
Schneizel raised an eyebrow. “Suzaku? That’s very pretty. Where did you come up with such a name, Lelouch?”
“I…I saw it in a book,” Lelouch said, wincing at such an obvious lie. He still remembered his conversation to Suzaku about names, and while he was certain there would be no harm in telling Schneizel the name's true origin, it felt too private somehow.
Schneizel chuckled. “Yes, the name comes from Zhuque. He was a great firebird of Chinese legend. How fitting for the little phoenix. It is a shame that you don’t intend to use him to his full potential. Perhaps then, I could ask to borrow him for my own purposes?”
“Schneizel-“ Lelouch growled warningly.
Schneizel held up a hand. “Peace, Lulu. I don’t mean anything like that. A business acquaintance of mine wishes to acquire his services. Apparently he feels the boy could be vital to his research.”
Lelouch frowned suspiciously.
“Come now, Lelouch, it’s not as if he is doing anything useful around here. If you’re so concerned, you can come and keep an eye on him. It would do you good to get out of the house, anyway.”
Lelouch let out a small, reluctant sigh. “Fine.”
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I've learned my lesson. I make no promises when the next part will be up because there's no way of knowing. I really am obsessed with Chains of Fantasia, but work is currently on a standstill until a certain someone (you know who you are) finishes a certain scene.
No pressure.
Comments please? rkemy, I wrote the next chapter. You have to read the story now!
By the way, this chapter is self editted because my beta is busy, so I'm sorry if it doesn't flow or anything like that.
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Suzaku woke up to an inexplicable combination of soft heat and hard floor. Groaning softly, he opened his eyes to another face, and for a moment he just stared in dumb, sleepy confusion. Then realization set in, and Suzaku wanted to wrench himself out of the prince’s grasp, horrified and more than a little frightened, but he forced himself to stay still in his master’s arms. This was where he had been placed, and this was where he would stay.
Last night was fuzzy, full of half remembered images he didn’t want to think about, and Suzaku wasn’t really sure which recollections were real and which were part of the nightmare.
But he remembered his master’s arms around him, his soft voice whispering words incomprehensible, but gentle and soothing. They had guided him from his horror world of memories, into a more peaceful sleep than Suzaku could remember having in years.
Suzaku was baffled. What could Lelouch possibly gain by comforting him, by holding him gently on the floor? He was an Eleven, a slave. It made no sense, Lelouch made no sense, and he hadn’t from day one. His actions contradicted all the social rules Suzaku had been taught to follow, everything his trainers had drilled into him, and all Suzaku could do was tiptoe around him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Lelouch to show his true nature. It had to happen eventually, it always did, and some part of Suzaku wished he would just give up the farce so he could understand again.
He looked at his master’s face, his beautiful face, innocent in sleep, arms still securely around Suzaku’s waist, tender, protective, and for the first time in a very long while, Suzaku felt as if he could cry. Because it couldn’t be true, but oh how he wished it could be.
He watched Lelouch rouse slowly, his eyelids flickering partially open, catching Suzaku’s face, and he smiled. A sweet, warm smile that put a wrench in Suzaku’s stomach, and he just wanted to scream at him to stop this torture. Because he had learned to live without warmth, without kindness, and one simple smile was threatening to tear down the walls he had so painstakingly built between himself and his harsh world.
You already own my body. I refuse to give my soul.
“Good morning,” Lelouch murmured. “Are you feeling better now?”
“I’m sorry if I disturbed your rest, Master,” Suzaku said quietly.
Lelouch shook his head. “No one should suffer alone when they’re tormented by such nightmares.”
Suzaku scrutinized the prince’s face. As far as he could tell, Lelouch was being sincere, but he had never been any good at divining deception.
“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me what they were about?” Lelouch asked.
Suzaku stared at him, his eyes wide with horror at the very idea, and Lelouch softly shook his head.
“I thought not. Very well, I won’t pry into something that is none of my business,” Lelouch answered with a sigh, gently disentangling his grip from Suzaku’s waist. “I suppose it’s time to get up. Face the day, right?”
Suzaku took this to mean that he was dismissed to start his daily duties, and scrambled upright. He dressed quickly, his fingers fumbling on the buttons of his vest in his haste to depart. Being here was dangerous. Lelouch was dangerous.
But out of the corner of his eye, he caught the faint darkening around Lelouch’s white neck, the purple beginnings of a bruise.
“Suzaku! S-stop…please! You’re…k-killing…me!”
Suzaku’s hand reached out without his conscious control, tracing the wound. “I did that, didn’t I?”
Lelouch averted his eyes, and Suzaku had his answer.
Suzaku took a step backwards. “I-I’m sorry!”
Panic coursed through Suzaku, thoughts racing. He had tried to choke his master! Surely now Lelouch realized he had made a mistake in his purchase. He would send him back to the slave traders, to Bradley. And his training would begin anew to pound out his cursed rebellion, that is if he wasn’t disposed of, for who would want a defective pet? Suzaku wasn’t even sure which fate was worse.
“Please, Master!” Suzaku begged. “Forgive me! Don’t send me away! I can’t go back there, I can’t!”
Lelouch looked up in surprise, quickly putting a placating hand on the frightened slave’s shoulder. “Suzaku, calm yourself. It’s okay. Really it’s my own fault for trying to wake someone in such a state. No one’s going to send you away.”
And Lelouch meant that. He would never send Suzaku back to that man, even though deep down he knew that he had good cause to do so. But Lelouch couldn’t believe that Suzaku meant him any harm, despite his actions. Not when he looked at him with such terrified, haunted eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Suzaku whispered.
“I know, and I forgive you. Look, I’m just bruised, see? I’m fine.”
But it could have been more, it could have gone much further than a mere bruise, and they both knew it. The fact that Lelouch was willing to overlook that, without punishment or the slightest hint of anger, even saying that he himself was to blame…it was yet another thing about Lelouch vi Britannia that Suzaku simply couldn’t explain.
Eventually, after making sure Suzaku had regained his composure, Lelouch went down to breakfast. Suzaku stayed in the room, on the weak pretense that he was tidying up, but he couldn’t focus, his mind replaying what he remembered from last night over and over. He tried to rationalize Lelouch’s behavior, tried to put it in some kind of sense, and ultimately failing because there wasn’t any.
The knot in Suzaku’s stomach grew ever larger with the memory of Lelouch’s touch, his smile, his voice. And Suzaku was utterly terrified; for in the back of his mind, he knew he was approaching something dangerously close to hope.
o0o
Suzaku didn’t make sense. Lelouch was trying to be patient and gentle, but the kinder he was, the more Suzaku seemed to close himself off. His behavior was illogical.
Then again, so was Lelouch’s. He couldn’t explain why it mattered to him that the slave felt comfortable around him. There was nothing wrong with showing Suzaku courtesy, but at the end of the day his feelings were unimportant. He was property, nothing more.
But property couldn't tremble with the horror of unspeakable nightmares, wasn’t warm with body heat as it rested in his arms, couldn’t look up at his with eyes wide and desperate, begging not to be thrown away.
“I can’t go back there, I can’t!”
What had those slavers done to the boy? He couldn’t forget the mad look in Bradley’s eyes as he ran electricity through Suzaku’s body, dismissing his pain and claiming he could take even more.
Lelouch wasn’t a fool, he knew that being a slave was far from pleasant, but the knowledge had always been distant, so far removed from his life it had hardly mattered. But Suzaku was there, right in front of him; his suffering was real, and the question ran through Lelouch's mind over and over: What did the slave dream about at night?
“What are you thinking about, Lelouch?” Schneizel asked as he calmly buttered his toast. “Usually you reserve such serious expressions to chess.”
Lelouch smiled and shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“Is it about that lovely young slave of yours?”
Lelouch started, and Schneizel smiled. “I do hope that issue with Nunnally was sorted out.”
“It was merely a misunderstanding,” Lelouch assured his brother. “Nunnally invited him in.”
“That’s good. I would hate for you to have to dispose of a slave before getting the chance to truly use him,” Schneizel replied, lips curling suggestively.
Lelouch flushed. “I have no intention of using Suzaku for such a vulgar purpose!”
Schneizel raised an eyebrow. “Suzaku? That’s very pretty. Where did you come up with such a name, Lelouch?”
“I…I saw it in a book,” Lelouch said, wincing at such an obvious lie. He still remembered his conversation to Suzaku about names, and while he was certain there would be no harm in telling Schneizel the name's true origin, it felt too private somehow.
Schneizel chuckled. “Yes, the name comes from Zhuque. He was a great firebird of Chinese legend. How fitting for the little phoenix. It is a shame that you don’t intend to use him to his full potential. Perhaps then, I could ask to borrow him for my own purposes?”
“Schneizel-“ Lelouch growled warningly.
Schneizel held up a hand. “Peace, Lulu. I don’t mean anything like that. A business acquaintance of mine wishes to acquire his services. Apparently he feels the boy could be vital to his research.”
Lelouch frowned suspiciously.
“Come now, Lelouch, it’s not as if he is doing anything useful around here. If you’re so concerned, you can come and keep an eye on him. It would do you good to get out of the house, anyway.”
Lelouch let out a small, reluctant sigh. “Fine.”
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I've learned my lesson. I make no promises when the next part will be up because there's no way of knowing. I really am obsessed with Chains of Fantasia, but work is currently on a standstill until a certain someone (you know who you are) finishes a certain scene.
No pressure.
Comments please? rkemy, I wrote the next chapter. You have to read the story now!