Life Is Harder If you only think about how hard it is now, rather than thinking about how great it'l
You know..for the short time I've been on this planet I've learned something. That no matter what you do or who you think you are, there will always be a point in your life where you feel alone or you feel like you don't matter, that you'll never matter. You'll treat yourself like shit and beat yourself down. You'll "fall in love" only with people you think you deserve. You'll choose the rottenestpeople or the best of people. Sometimes you'll feel like you're the most messed up person in the world and blame yourself for it. You may think it's bullshit, but in reality it isn't. I know. As much as I hate to admit that I am one of those effed up teenagers who think about doing bad things to myself or thinks that i have no future, no matter how many times I try to conjure up one. I know I am one of those teenagers that'll hurt myself sometimes or surround myself with horrible people because that's the love, or rather the lack of, that I think I deserve. And everyday I try to be someone better and forget all the horrible things that have happened to me, and like a select or accidental few know it hasn't always worked. But I try. And I know right now I may feel like shit sometimes, like I shouldn't be here. That maybe it's all my fault,but I know and I will always know that something will happen and my life will get better. I might meet someone or maybe I'll get tired of feeling sad all the time, and it'll all get better. And then maybe, someday, I'll be called mommy and I'll realize that I had to go through all that shit to get there.