Sometimes I wonder how I didn't just IMPLODE many years ago
Me and big brother. I feel the need to point out in advance that I'm not completely techno-retarded; I just hate doing things the long way when the short one is available.
Me: May I reset the router? My streaming time is finished.
BB: (from another point of the room, incredibly annoyed) No, you can't! I'm playing online.
Me: Okay then.
*silence*
BB: (still unreasonably annoyed) But why are you resetting the router anyway? Just use that *blah blah* tool for Firefox.
Me: On this pc? On Firefox?
BB: Yes, yes.
Me: Is it installed already?
BB: (more and more annoyed) Yes, of course it's already there. It's an add-on.
Me: (wondering why they call it an add-on if it's already there) I just have to start Firefox?
BB: (sighing) Yes, I told you, just DO IT.
*silence, me opening the page again on Firefox. Let it be known I HATE FIREFOX*
*same page, same thing: your time is over, wait blah blah minutes and then fuck you, dear visitor*
Me: Uhm, I don't think it works.
BB: Of course it does.
Me: Is it supposed to do the very same thing it did on the other browser?
BB: (sighing, more and more frustrated) No, it isn't! What a nuisance you are.
Me: I just asked. What should I do to make it work?
BB: Scroll down, it's THERE. (takes my mouse and scrolls down to a tiny box that was BEHIND everything else, like really, it was even behind the black background)
Me: Oh well, okay. Thanks.
BB: Another player will open and that'll work.
Me: Okay.
BB: But it's much slower than the first one.
Me: ... yes?
BB: You should see it on the laptop: it takes ages.
Me: (wondering why I should use something that takes ages) Isn't it easier to reset the router?
BB: No, it isn't, since I installed that. And I'm PLAYING.
Me: (wondering if I lost some passages in the reasoning) ... okay.
*silence*
*more silence*
*buffering still at 0% and those annoying ellipses going on and on*
BB: Is it working?
Me: No.
BB: (glances at my screen) When it's like that it's not working.
Me: For some reason I was under the same impression.
BB: Close the window and open it again. Go back to where you were. Open the video, blah blah blah and then...
Me: (shutting everything down) Okay, I'll just give up and watch it when I can reset the router.
BB: Why? You just have to open the window again blah blah.
Me: And wait to see if it works and go back and forth five times if it doesn't, so thanks but no thanks. I'll just wait until you feel comfortable with letting me reset the router.
BB: (outraged) Me? ME? I'm PLAYING!
Me: Yeah, okay. Anyway.
BB: You're stupid.
Me: Well, I also think you're an idiot, but I don't feel the need to come and tell you.
BB: (speechless for a moment) What?
Me: (explanatory) You just told me I'm stupid.
BB: You're stupid because, why won't you just use it?
Me: Because it's annoying, it's slow and IT DOESN'T WORK, so I'll just wait, okay? And since I know you, while I'm waiting for you to let me reset the router I'll have my streaming time restored and we'll all be happy ever after.
BB: Restored for how long? An hour?
Me: I can watch three eps in one hour.
BB: As you wish.
Me: Yes, thanks.
BB: Your loss.
Me: Yes, it was my choice.
BB: Doesn't make sense to me.
Me: No need to.
*silence*
BB: And anyway, it's not healthy to reset the router so often.
Me: Isn't it?
BB: No, it isn't.
Me: Why not?
BB: It just isn't.
Me: And the reason is...?
BB: That blah blah tool is much handier.
Me: WHY?
*then the merciful silence swallows down this useless argument but regretfully not the male lead actor*
Now please multiply this annoying, meaningless little scene for every fucking day of my life, twice a day, apply it to each and every and I say EACH AND EVERY topic you can think of (the price of pasta, racism, the shape of forks, death penalty, why men are hairier than women) and that's my big brother for you.
Me: May I reset the router? My streaming time is finished.
BB: (from another point of the room, incredibly annoyed) No, you can't! I'm playing online.
Me: Okay then.
*silence*
BB: (still unreasonably annoyed) But why are you resetting the router anyway? Just use that *blah blah* tool for Firefox.
Me: On this pc? On Firefox?
BB: Yes, yes.
Me: Is it installed already?
BB: (more and more annoyed) Yes, of course it's already there. It's an add-on.
Me: (wondering why they call it an add-on if it's already there) I just have to start Firefox?
BB: (sighing) Yes, I told you, just DO IT.
*silence, me opening the page again on Firefox. Let it be known I HATE FIREFOX*
*same page, same thing: your time is over, wait blah blah minutes and then fuck you, dear visitor*
Me: Uhm, I don't think it works.
BB: Of course it does.
Me: Is it supposed to do the very same thing it did on the other browser?
BB: (sighing, more and more frustrated) No, it isn't! What a nuisance you are.
Me: I just asked. What should I do to make it work?
BB: Scroll down, it's THERE. (takes my mouse and scrolls down to a tiny box that was BEHIND everything else, like really, it was even behind the black background)
Me: Oh well, okay. Thanks.
BB: Another player will open and that'll work.
Me: Okay.
BB: But it's much slower than the first one.
Me: ... yes?
BB: You should see it on the laptop: it takes ages.
Me: (wondering why I should use something that takes ages) Isn't it easier to reset the router?
BB: No, it isn't, since I installed that. And I'm PLAYING.
Me: (wondering if I lost some passages in the reasoning) ... okay.
*silence*
*more silence*
*buffering still at 0% and those annoying ellipses going on and on*
BB: Is it working?
Me: No.
BB: (glances at my screen) When it's like that it's not working.
Me: For some reason I was under the same impression.
BB: Close the window and open it again. Go back to where you were. Open the video, blah blah blah and then...
Me: (shutting everything down) Okay, I'll just give up and watch it when I can reset the router.
BB: Why? You just have to open the window again blah blah.
Me: And wait to see if it works and go back and forth five times if it doesn't, so thanks but no thanks. I'll just wait until you feel comfortable with letting me reset the router.
BB: (outraged) Me? ME? I'm PLAYING!
Me: Yeah, okay. Anyway.
BB: You're stupid.
Me: Well, I also think you're an idiot, but I don't feel the need to come and tell you.
BB: (speechless for a moment) What?
Me: (explanatory) You just told me I'm stupid.
BB: You're stupid because, why won't you just use it?
Me: Because it's annoying, it's slow and IT DOESN'T WORK, so I'll just wait, okay? And since I know you, while I'm waiting for you to let me reset the router I'll have my streaming time restored and we'll all be happy ever after.
BB: Restored for how long? An hour?
Me: I can watch three eps in one hour.
BB: As you wish.
Me: Yes, thanks.
BB: Your loss.
Me: Yes, it was my choice.
BB: Doesn't make sense to me.
Me: No need to.
*silence*
BB: And anyway, it's not healthy to reset the router so often.
Me: Isn't it?
BB: No, it isn't.
Me: Why not?
BB: It just isn't.
Me: And the reason is...?
BB: That blah blah tool is much handier.
Me: WHY?
*then the merciful silence swallows down this useless argument but regretfully not the male lead actor*
Now please multiply this annoying, meaningless little scene for every fucking day of my life, twice a day, apply it to each and every and I say EACH AND EVERY topic you can think of (the price of pasta, racism, the shape of forks, death penalty, why men are hairier than women) and that's my big brother for you.