Jun 13, 2004 23:17
Okay dears. Here's my entry. I don't need an ass kicking right now. Well I do, but no one can seem to do it quite properly for me. So I shall kick my own ass. Because I can. I am FIONA!!! Hear me purr...meow.
So while I sit here with a bushel of apples and bite into the juicy goodness, my mind tends to wonder..why the fuck am I doing this? BECAUSE I AM ME!! AND I WILL DO WHAT I PLEASE! WHO I PLEASE! WHEN I PLEASE!! Fair enough? Good. We're in agreement.
So, what have I been up to? Well Damon's chair is being refurnished. It's seen far too much fun from me, as I like to dance with it. I've taught it to waltz. Best damned fucking partner I've ever had!!!! And it doesn't talk back. I miss the dirty talk. I suppose I could dump cow shit on it. Then I'd feel bad though, because it would be so very, pitifully sad and I'd have to cry. Fiona doesn't cry. Never. Well I do, but only when I'm watching the Little Mermaid. Why did she have to give up her beautiful fishy tail? Why? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! I ask you. Because she's a twit that's why. I'd rather have tail. Any day.
My house is now furnished with black leather, mood lighting and I have chains hanging from the ceiling. If you listen carefully you can hear the constant screams of my victims I mean partners if I'm whipping them just right. They scream so well you know? Like they are on some sort of drug..or..like taking something, say a hot poker and shoving it in their eye! *grins* Those screams are the best.
I am in a testy mood, so this is my entry. If you don't like it then you can all just kiss my apples and leave it at that. Better yet, kiss the chair. I'm bored with it. No! NOO!! Not my chair. I think I've gone insane. Tata!
This entry has been brought to you by the venerable Orlando Bloom(national spokesman for OB tampons)