Done.- but maybe a string of hope

[fionaapps9]

Need to be happy..Gunna be happy. No more Bullshit if ya dont like me stay the fuck away and stop hurting me. If ya do like me show me. Not that hard. When you need me im there..when ya dont im on the sidelines Take it all or leave it all. No more BS. No more profound words for you until you wise the fuck up. I drain myself and It means shit to you so dont pretend it does. You dont get it - not at all. Ill always remember you as a good person, a sentitive caring person. every day I have to forget about the one before it. People ask me how my weekend was and I have to make up shit for the most part. I know you hurt and I was trying to help.. Next time you blow me off like a fucking pile of dog shit REMEMBER just remember who I am..but most of all remember who you are, you were and who you can be. As the one fork in the road splits into many different branches remember where you left me.. right fucking here all the way at the beginning.. so we'll see if one day you need me enough to come all the way back to the beginning to find me. Im here and I didnt to a fucking thing never tried to hurt ya never tried to even make you upset, even though I have in the past It NEVER made me smile to see someone suffer. If ya dont like me TELL ME. Im done with the BS. Im just holdin on cuz I thought I meant as much to you as you do to me. I must be wrong because It shouldnt be that fucking hard to be nice once and a while. God fucking damnit you are spoiled by the people who love you even when your a raging bitch. I cant even cry because I know I do everything I can. Its not worth it why do I try to make you be my best friend If you dont even like me. Your just like a drug I cant help but fuckin love you but now im dying. For someone whos so honest why dont you stop beating around the buch and just face the facts. I MEAN SHIT TO YOU AND YOU DONT WANNA ADMIT IT!! The sad thing for me Is I will always cry when I think of how much I miss you and you will be off doing the same thing all over again. Thats fine. Be happy. Your voice goes right through me when you call me yelling and screaming. Love you like a sister a best friend and a fucking drug. Narrowd down to the old bambi thing, if you cant say something nice dont fucking say it. Unless it needs to be said. Dont forget Im not stupid if seen anger in the eyes of an abuser and a girl who neerly ripped the fucking flesh out of my area. YOUR EYES TELL A STORY and I know it by heart. Ive had a lot of practice. I have a better chance that my walld will start talking to me before you do most of the time. I hang in there. I kinda needed ya..ya know? to be there. When I have to deal w/ my past creeping up on me. Thats what friends are for.. if ya gotta take the best out of friend go-a-fucking-head but dont treat me like this. I AM A GOOD FUCKING PERSON. I care about myself the least and others the most. Im not an angel but I think it would make anyone happy to be able to say " I made someone feel good today". Why dont you have your beautiful eyes open wide enough to realize you will not be accepted by anyone and everyone you meet. Nor will I but I always thought ya know I got an awesome friend I know is always there.. SO WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?! WHERE HUH?!?. Im in the gutter on a stormy night wanna come get me. I cant just forget okay?! OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES AND HAVE A LITTLE FUCKING COMPASSION!!!

Love Always- Even In pain
Jenn