prop 8 - borrowed thoughts
my friend john posted this today and gave me permission to repost it here. i don't think i can say it better than he does, so here goes.
So today has been kind of a crappy day to be me. Tuesday night I celebrated alongside my friends s we watched McCain concede and Obama take office, I texted furiously, I juggled phone calls and IMs and Facebook chats, and I even connected with the people running down my street screaming to the world that Obama had run. I felt united and victorious, and amazed to know that when I was old, this was something I'd always remember, and tell my grandkids "I was there". I woke up the very next morning to hear that Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, Michigan (Hamtramck), and worst of all California had passed legislation against LGBT people. It stung like hell to have at once been so united, and then to feel so ripped apart, have a spotlight cast upon me, and the words "NO" branded on my future. I read the articles and kept up on the news, and found one today where people from the Yes on Prop 8 campaign said it was up the courts to anull the previous marriages because "they created this problem", and I read about their "Victory statement". It's not often that a piece of news hurts me and angers me, but this one hit right to me. There's no one I can yell "Fuck you" at, and no one I can plead my case for equality to, just this nebulous "fight" and "movement" I have to continue to participate in. As time goes by I'm getting over it. It's a setback, but overall forward motion. People are talking, people are voting, and people are coming around. But what's pissing me off so much today is all of my friends trying to make me feel better by saying "Just give it time. People aren't ready." There's two ways I react to this, intellectually and emotionally.
Intellectually-
You can not just say "wait" and expect a seed to grow. You have to actively cultivate it, and in this case we have to keep fighting and pushing and saying that close is never enough. We can not wait for change to come. We have to go out and bring it to those who will not seek it themselves. And things like this make me think that it isn't enough. I know I'm new to all of this, and green... but I can't help but get frustrated seeing time and time again someone vote against my right to live a life as happy and full as yours.
Emotionally-
I'm pissed off. Don't tell me that "you just have to wait". If you are my friend, and you truly support me, the totality of me, get off your ass and send out those No on Prop 8 videos, and disseminate those article that expose the hateful politics of the Christian Right, and work toward a future that's better for everyone. I have to "just wait" because those middle fence people stay there on the fence, and they won't stand up and fight. Christ, I'm not trying to militarize the movement or anything, I whole-heartedly believe as MLK said "change must be deliberate and respectful". But it must move forward. As a movement grows, its ranks should swell, people should take up the torch and join the cause. Today, I don't see that happening, and I'm ashamed. Ashamed of my countrymen, of the ideals that I was taught, and ashamed that I thought better of people. I've always believed that this country is at it's heart good, and I still do believe that, but I see a dark and hateful part of it that resides in Christianity and the Mormon church and many other religions that should be separated from the state... but when a theocratic billionaire donates millions to a campaign to ban my right to marry... you can't buy my civil liberties. Or at least, I thought you couldn't. All I want is to know that one day, when I do find someone that catches my breath and makes me realize "This is who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with", that we'll be protected by our government, and that my son and/or daughter will be home when I wake up in the morning, and that I will have a job the next day. But right now, some bat shit crazy evangelists out there want nothing more in life than to keep me from doing exactly what Uncle Sam has always expected of me... to contribute, to marry, and to procreate. You don't have to be comfortable with my sexuality, you can be downright ignorant enough to call it my life choice (I will correct you though), but just stay the fuck out of my life. To know that people are so disgusted by me and people like me to put SOCIAL JUSTICE to a POPULAR VOTE is horrifying and heart-breaking. I just expected so much more out of people, and now I'm not sure how I feel. I know that there is still basic human decency... but to know how much sway these brainwashed indoctrinated robotic zealots have over my life... I'm not sure how to go about fighting. And on top of that, for my friends to tell me "Just wait, it will happen in due time"... no, it won't. It will happen when people who care enough about humanity to sway the popular vote and tell those bigots that we have had enough. And for that I need you to stop saying "just wait" and stand next to me. I've got the balls, I've had the balls, now I need you to grow a pair and stop expecting the world to evolve on its own. Stand up, FIGHT, and for god's sake give a damn.
So today has been kind of a crappy day to be me. Tuesday night I celebrated alongside my friends s we watched McCain concede and Obama take office, I texted furiously, I juggled phone calls and IMs and Facebook chats, and I even connected with the people running down my street screaming to the world that Obama had run. I felt united and victorious, and amazed to know that when I was old, this was something I'd always remember, and tell my grandkids "I was there". I woke up the very next morning to hear that Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, Michigan (Hamtramck), and worst of all California had passed legislation against LGBT people. It stung like hell to have at once been so united, and then to feel so ripped apart, have a spotlight cast upon me, and the words "NO" branded on my future. I read the articles and kept up on the news, and found one today where people from the Yes on Prop 8 campaign said it was up the courts to anull the previous marriages because "they created this problem", and I read about their "Victory statement". It's not often that a piece of news hurts me and angers me, but this one hit right to me. There's no one I can yell "Fuck you" at, and no one I can plead my case for equality to, just this nebulous "fight" and "movement" I have to continue to participate in. As time goes by I'm getting over it. It's a setback, but overall forward motion. People are talking, people are voting, and people are coming around. But what's pissing me off so much today is all of my friends trying to make me feel better by saying "Just give it time. People aren't ready." There's two ways I react to this, intellectually and emotionally.
Intellectually-
You can not just say "wait" and expect a seed to grow. You have to actively cultivate it, and in this case we have to keep fighting and pushing and saying that close is never enough. We can not wait for change to come. We have to go out and bring it to those who will not seek it themselves. And things like this make me think that it isn't enough. I know I'm new to all of this, and green... but I can't help but get frustrated seeing time and time again someone vote against my right to live a life as happy and full as yours.
Emotionally-
I'm pissed off. Don't tell me that "you just have to wait". If you are my friend, and you truly support me, the totality of me, get off your ass and send out those No on Prop 8 videos, and disseminate those article that expose the hateful politics of the Christian Right, and work toward a future that's better for everyone. I have to "just wait" because those middle fence people stay there on the fence, and they won't stand up and fight. Christ, I'm not trying to militarize the movement or anything, I whole-heartedly believe as MLK said "change must be deliberate and respectful". But it must move forward. As a movement grows, its ranks should swell, people should take up the torch and join the cause. Today, I don't see that happening, and I'm ashamed. Ashamed of my countrymen, of the ideals that I was taught, and ashamed that I thought better of people. I've always believed that this country is at it's heart good, and I still do believe that, but I see a dark and hateful part of it that resides in Christianity and the Mormon church and many other religions that should be separated from the state... but when a theocratic billionaire donates millions to a campaign to ban my right to marry... you can't buy my civil liberties. Or at least, I thought you couldn't. All I want is to know that one day, when I do find someone that catches my breath and makes me realize "This is who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with", that we'll be protected by our government, and that my son and/or daughter will be home when I wake up in the morning, and that I will have a job the next day. But right now, some bat shit crazy evangelists out there want nothing more in life than to keep me from doing exactly what Uncle Sam has always expected of me... to contribute, to marry, and to procreate. You don't have to be comfortable with my sexuality, you can be downright ignorant enough to call it my life choice (I will correct you though), but just stay the fuck out of my life. To know that people are so disgusted by me and people like me to put SOCIAL JUSTICE to a POPULAR VOTE is horrifying and heart-breaking. I just expected so much more out of people, and now I'm not sure how I feel. I know that there is still basic human decency... but to know how much sway these brainwashed indoctrinated robotic zealots have over my life... I'm not sure how to go about fighting. And on top of that, for my friends to tell me "Just wait, it will happen in due time"... no, it won't. It will happen when people who care enough about humanity to sway the popular vote and tell those bigots that we have had enough. And for that I need you to stop saying "just wait" and stand next to me. I've got the balls, I've had the balls, now I need you to grow a pair and stop expecting the world to evolve on its own. Stand up, FIGHT, and for god's sake give a damn.