rabbit is good, rabbit is wise.
i love carolyn hax.
from this chat:
"When both of you want to make stupid sacrifices to please the other, then you've reached the sweet spot of intimacy. And when each of you keeps the other from making that stupid sacrifice, that's your confirmation of arrival."
oh man, m and i had that in a big way for a long time. i think we still have that in some small way.
on the other hand:
"It's very important that you don't cave in to people just because they make that the easier option for you. It is a classic form of manipulation: Ask for what you want, and then indicate you're going to make someone's life hell if they don't give it to you. Toddlers do it, adolescents do it, immature adults do it, and abusers do it."
and boy do i recognize that scenario. and that's why m and i couldn't ultimately stay together.
he would argue that i made his life hell whenever i was unhappy. i may have. i am immature, petty, and spiteful in my own way. that said, i don't think the power dynamic was ever in my favor where manipulation wars were concerned.
from this chat:
"When both of you want to make stupid sacrifices to please the other, then you've reached the sweet spot of intimacy. And when each of you keeps the other from making that stupid sacrifice, that's your confirmation of arrival."
oh man, m and i had that in a big way for a long time. i think we still have that in some small way.
on the other hand:
"It's very important that you don't cave in to people just because they make that the easier option for you. It is a classic form of manipulation: Ask for what you want, and then indicate you're going to make someone's life hell if they don't give it to you. Toddlers do it, adolescents do it, immature adults do it, and abusers do it."
and boy do i recognize that scenario. and that's why m and i couldn't ultimately stay together.
he would argue that i made his life hell whenever i was unhappy. i may have. i am immature, petty, and spiteful in my own way. that said, i don't think the power dynamic was ever in my favor where manipulation wars were concerned.