Fic: By The Book (Numb3rs, Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger)
Title: By The Book
Fandom: Numb3rs
Pair: Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Numb3rs Main Fic List
David leaned closer again and took another look. He had noticed it when he had
reached to pick up a folder from Colby’s desk. He had glanced down and there it
was. In Colby’s backbag.
“Granger?”
“Yeah?” Colby was too occupied with his paperwork, he didn’t even raise his
head to look at him.
“You can tell me it’s none of my business, but I have to ask… Why do you bring
stuff like that to the office? You could get in trouble for that.”
“What are you at-” Then Colby realized exactly what he was talking about. “We…
I…I mean… Break room.” He grabbed his bag and practically run to the break
room.
David nodded and followed.
“Just don’t tell anyone, this is embarrassing enough as it is.” Colby shut the door.
“Can I take a look at it? I’ve never seen one of those.”
Colby took the book from his bag and handed it over to David. The title, `The Joy
of Gay Sex -How to make the Kama Sutra crowd jealous` was written in bight red
letters
“No offense, but I had no idea you and Charlie needed that kinda books.”
“We don’t! Well…. he doesn’t.”
“How come he doesn’t need them, but you do? I thought you two were doing great.”
“We are doing great!" Colby tried to calm down. “Listen, you remember when I told
you about our sex life?”
“When you compared Charlie to Easter bunny? How could I forget…”
“Yeah, and when I told you about his sex drive…”
“You called him a hamster in a running wheel.”
“You know what I mean. Anyway, he’s…. really inventive. We’ve been together
over a year, and he’s still full of ideas he wants to test.”
“What kind of ideas?”
“You know the time I told you about the thing with a hammock and
chocolate sauce?”
“Yeah, I tried to convince Ian to try it, but it didn’t really work out the
right way.”
“Why not?”
“We didn’t have a place to set up the hammock.”
“Okay…. Like I said he has all these ideas, and the sex is awesome.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“He has to do everything! If he didn’t do that, we would always have sex
the same way. I think I’m boring.”
“Boring?”
“I can’t talk dirty, I have just one favorite position, I like to do it in bed.
I’m boring.”
“You’re exactly what you’ve been the whole time I’ve known you. Why
are you panicking about it now?”
“What happens when he gets bored? He’ll dump me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. He’s gotten used to you being boring.”
“That’s the point! Sooner or later he’s gonna want someone more exciting.”
“Listen.” David said as soothingly as he could. “He’s not gonna leave
you just because you’re a boring lover.”
“He might. But I’m not going to go without a fight.”
“You’re gonna start a fight?”
“No. I got the book. I’ll show him how adventurous I can be. Check page
hundred and three.”
David flipped the book open and looked for the particular page. His eyes
went wide. “You can’t be serious….”
“I am. If that doesn’t impress Charlie, I don’t know what will.”
“Is that even possible… Is that a leg or a hand….?”
Colby tilted his head to see the illustration. “I’m not sure, but I’ll figure
it out. I’ve been going to yoga classes for two weeks to make sure I’m
bendy enough.”
---------------------------------------------------
David tried to grab his cell phone from the nightstand. He snapped the
light on. “Sinclair.”
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Charlie? Why are you calling at two in the morning?”
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“Yeah, but it’s fine. I think Ian went right back to sleep.”
“I tried to call Don, but his phone’s off. We’re at the hospital.”
“Hospital?”
“Colby had a little miscalculation… he sprained his groin.”
“I don’t need to know the details.”
“Can you tell Don when you go to the office in the morning? Colby’s gonna
be on leave for few days.”
“I’ll tell him.”
---------------------------------------------------
“How’s our little patient?” Charlie walked into Colby’s hospital room.
“Embarrassed. And in pain.” Colby groaned. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. But there’s something I wanna talk to you about.” Charlie took
a thick book from his bag and give it to Colby. “Why exactly are you reading
this?”
“I… I wanted to surprise you.”
“Nice thought, but why? I thought we were doing fine.”
“I wanted to spice things up a little bit. You always get all those ideas and
I’m left applauding and begging for more.”
“Yeah, but I like it when I can test my ideas, we don’t need a book.”
“You don’t, but I do. I’m as vanilla as a guy can be.”
“I know.” Charlie grinned. “That’s the secret of your success.”
“It is?”
“Yep. Innocent, beefy, Lutheran farm boy from Idaho… The whole idea
of debauching that is a turn-on.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and I like to be the one who does the debauching.”
“You should have said that before I sexed myself up all the way to
the hospital.”
“I assumed you knew. Just think what we did couple weeks ago, when
I told you to dress up in cowboy gear?”
“When I dressed up and you…” Colby grinned.
“That really should have given you a clue. But we can try it again when
you get home.”
“Sounds good, but I’m not sure if I can do that without a new trip to
the ER.”
“Don’t worry, I can improvise.”