Fic: Reidian Technique / Interrogation (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Reidian Technique
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Emily Prentiss,
Penelope Garcia
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“Ready, Prensie?” Garcia beamed. She slammed a large bag on Prentiss’s desk. “I told you I would come to your rescue.”
“Firstly: I don’t need to be rescued.”
“No need to look like that.”
“And secondly: Why are you calling me Prensie?”
“You try coming up with a nickname when you have to deal with all those consonants. Anyway, this is more like an errand of mercy.”
“I don’t need mercy either.”
“Come on, you’re the only one left who doesn’t have a man. Well, you and Rossi but I don’t think he would be too happy if I tried to match him up woth some dude.....”
“Quantico is full of single people. Relationship is not really compatible with this work.”
“There`s no singles left in the BAU, except you and Rossi. You must be pretty desperate by now, so I figured you should take some lessons from the best.”
“You?”
“Unfortunately no. I snatched Kevin, but before that…. My love life was like a spyware fishing out all the no-good creeps.”
“Get to the point.”
“Think about all of us here. Morgan is taken, Hotch too, and J.J. Don’t know about Rossi, he’s always wafting somewhere in between….But let’s compare some of my favourite man-candy. First Morgan. Tall, gorgeous, very yummily built, nice dress sense, totally whipped. And Chad. Tall, gorgeous, yummily built, nice dress sense, halfway whipped. Although I’m pretty sure he’s got Hotch equally whipped.”
“If you don’t get to the point soon, I’ll pull out my gun.”
“Think about them. They are both great catches. And then there’s Chad’s brother who hooked up with Hotchie-Poochie`s bro.”
“What?”
“You didn’t know about that? Well, that’s not the point here. Three gorgeous males and what do they have in common?”
“They look like triplets, what don’t they have in common?”
“I meant Reid.”
“Reid?”
“He’s had two out of three. And I’m not sure about Cain, maybe he’s had him too.”
“Garcia.”
“Sorry, my inner conspiracy nut comes out to play sometimes. So, you have to think: What’s his secret?”
“Big brain and a pretty face.”
“There has to be something else too. That whole brainy, delicate flower thing.” Garcia pulled the bag open. “So I got you some gear for your big seduction. You’ll get dressed and I’ll take you to the sleaziest meat counter we can find.”
“What kind of gear?”
“I’ll show you.” Garcia dumped the content of the bag to the desk.
Prentiss stared at them. Her face turned white as a sheet.
“No way. Absolutely no.”
“Come on, at least try them on. I think I got the size right.”
“I’m not going to a bar wearing corduroys pants, grandpa shirt, tie, and a sweater vest. I wouldn’t even go to the bathroom in those.”
“It worked for Reid! And he’s had a lot more success on that area than you….”
“Forget the gun, I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”
“I haven’t even shown you the piece de resistance.” Garcia pulled out a small case from her breast pocket.
“Garcia, I will not wear Reid’s clothes and I sure as hell don’t wear his glasses.”
“They worked for him. I’ll leave this stuff here." She shoved the glasses to Prentiss`s desk drawer. "Think about it.”
---------------------------------------------------
Title: Interrogation
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
Reid opened the door after three rings of the doorbell. On the door was a man in black suit, with dark sunglasses blocking his eyes from view. White shirt and a black tie were peeking from under the jacket.
“Doctor Reid?”
“Yes.”
“Agent Morgan, FBI.” He held up his badge. “I need to ask you some questions.”
“I see.... Come in.” Reid pointed to the living room.
Agent Morgan sat down on the couch and removed his glasses.
“Do you know why we are here talking to you?”
Reid tried to control himself, but his mouth worked faster than his big brain.
“Are you talking in plural meaning the entire FBI as an entity or-”
“Doctor Reid.”
“Sorry. Please continue.”
“We are investigating a series of murder connected to a man you know. The press has been calling him “Hammering Hotch“.”
“You mean…..”
“Aaron Hotchner.”
“I haven’t seen him for a while.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“Maybe few weeks ago.”
“Where?”
“No, it was last week. But of course time and it’s use is always relative to the method of timing we are using and our perception of time.”
“Are you refusing to answer? We can continue this in one of our wonderful interview rooms.”
“I am answering!”
“For the last time: Where did you see him? Was it near the area where the murders occurred?”
“I can’t answer that.”
“Why not?”
“If I tell you why, you’ll start yelling at me again.”
“I didn’t yell at you, I just raised my voice. Why can’t you tell me?”
“Because that would require knowledge of the locations. If I told you I have met him near them you would assume I am an accomplice, and if I don’t you think I’m hiding something. And then you’ll start yelling at me.”
“I will not yell!”
“See what I mean?”
“That’s it, we’re going to the station. Get your stuff, doc, we’re leaving.”
“My stuff?” Reid gave him a deer in headlights expression, accessorised with a quivering bottom lip.
“And don’t you dare turn on the waterworks, I already got dirty looks from that old lady next door.”
“I’m telling you all I know!”
“I don’t buy that.”
“Why would I hide something?”
“Because you’re trying to look all innocent.” Agent Morgan grabbed the table light and pointed it to Reid’s eyes. “Last chance. Talk now, or I’ll take you to the station.”
“I already told you I don’t know any more about him!”
"Station. Get your stuff."
“Okay….” Reid got up and went to the foyer. He opened a drawer to get his keys. Agent Morgan’s spotted the item next to them. He grabbed Reid and twisted his hand behind his back.
“Nice plan, kid. Pretend you`re getting ready to go, get your gun and then you’ll try to blow my brains out.”
“I wasn’t trying to-”
“Shut up. You wanna play difficult? Fine, I’ll get it out of you.” He shoved Reid back to the living room and tossed him face down on the couch. He was sitting on top of the other man before he could escape.
“Please, I don’t-”
“I don’t want to hear what you have to say, unless you’re gonna answer my questions. Trust me, I know how to make you talk. Or scream.”
Reid didn’t say anything. He just jiggled mutely. Morgan turned him around and his suspicions were confirmed. Reid was laughing uncontrollably.
“Sorry….” The genius tried to gasp breath to speak. “I tried and i tried, but it was just too funny…. Hammering Hotch? How did you come up with that….?”
“I’m doing my best bad-cop interpretation and you’re laughing?”
“Sorry, you were great, it was just so funny…” Reid was still giggling. “You were really great.”
“Can you come up something else that rhymes with Hotch?”
“Hammering doesn’t rhyme with Hotch.”
“You know what I mean!”
“I do.” Reid finally managed to get his laughter in check. “But you could still show me some of those interrogation techniques. Especially those that will make me scream.”
“I can do that. You wanna go upstairs?”
“Bed would be nicer for my back. And Morgan….”
“What, Baby?”
“Keep the suit and tie on.”