Fic: Wedding Jitters (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Wedding Jitters
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
Follows:
Beg (NC-17)
and
Beg, Epilogue
“Why did I say Yes….?” Reid groaned as he tried to get the bowtie of his tuxedo to co-operate. “I hate weddings.”
“Come on, weddings are always nice.” Morgan commented. “Besides, you’re not getting married, you’re not the best man, and you’re not even a flower girl. You can just relax.”
“They always put me in the kid’s table.” Reid pulled the tie open again and started from the beginning. “They look at me and then they start throwing broccoli at me….”
“They only put you to the kid’s table if you didn’t RSVP a date. You got a well-groomed hunk to escort you to the church and to the reception, and if you want I can grope you a little bit in front of the priest.”
“No groping! I’ll start blushing and I’ll look like a boiled crab.”
“Kissing?”
“Not in the church.”
“Can I at least pinch your ass?”
“No. I always get bruises when you do that…..”
“And last week you left teeth marks on my ass, so we’re even.”
“Are you keeping score on who marked what?”
“No, but I couldn’t sit right for days. I got some really funny looks at the office.”
“You asked me to do it!”
“There’s a difference between gentle nibbling and actual biting.”
“That was your fault! You scared me.”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“You moaned so loudly I got scared.” Reid tore the tie off once again. “Can you help me with this?”
“Come here.” Morgan took the tie from him and started to tie it around his collar. “Seriously, it’ll be fun. I didn’t like going to my sisters weddings alone either. Everyone kept asking why I didn’t bring anyone.”
“Be grateful. I didn’t get those inquiries, people just gave me those funny looks.”
“Nobody’s gonna give you funny looks. Envious, maybe.”
Reid grinned. “Maybe. And we can negotiate about that groping.”
“Good, but I want something in return.”
“What?”
“Next time there’s weddings or christenings in my side of the family, you’ll come with me.”
“And grope you?”
“Yep, and I can brag how I snatched a pretty, brainy doctor. My mom always told my sisters they should marry a doctor.”
“We’re not married.”
“And I’m not a girl, but the principle is the same. Brilliant, sexy and a real beast in bed. I got the whole package.”
“Keep going like that, and I’ll get an over swelled ego. Like yours….”
“My ego is directly proportionate to my merits. You know that annual poll the reception girls organise at the office?”
“No.”
“They do it every year, it`s called package poll.”
“Package poll?”
“They make educated guesses based on bulges about the size of every male agent`s little fed. They gather the averages of the estimates and announce the winner. I’ve been number one three years in a row.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, and you’ve made it to the list too.”
“I don’t want to hear-”
“Last time you were number three.”
“Who was number two?”
“Your ex.”
“Adams or Chad?”
“Chad.”
Reid started giggling. “Well, they got it wrong. He should be number three.”
“Really….?” Morgan smirked. “Normally I would stay on the topic, but we`ll have to do that later, or we’ll be late.” He gave Reid’s tie one last tug.
“You got everything you need?”
“Yeah.”
“Tissues?”
“Don’t start…..”
“Garcia told me bout your little weakness for weddings.”
“She lied.”
“I don’t think so….”
“All lies.”
“So you don’t start crying every time you go to a wedding?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“I may get little misty-eyed, but in a very manly way.”
“So she was right.”
“I don’t cry at weddings.”
“According to her you went through an entire package paper napkins when that guy from the white collar crimes got married.”
“It was really touching!”
“Apparently….”
“There’s nothing unmanly about crying!”
“I didn’t say there is! It’s very recommendable in the time when a sensitive, and deeply feeling male is considered to be the ideal as far as the social norms go.”
“I’m sure there was a compliment hidden somewhere…..”
“That was a compliment. I got a date for the wedding, who’s sexy, smart and sensitive.”
“Nicely saved.” Morgan grinned and gave him a quick kiss. “Hurry up, we gotta get going.”
“And Morgan…..” Reid pulled him close for another kiss. “If those kids start throwing broccoli at me again, you’ll eat it.”