Fic: Broken In (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Broken In
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“Why can’t you just fix the old one?” Reid groaned. His face had turned red ten minutes ago, when Morgan had told the saleswoman what they were looking for and the colour still hadn’t gone away.
“Because it’s in pieces? Literally. You should know, you broke it.”
“It wasn’t me.”
“I wasn’t the one went all ape-man on me, and by the way that’s a really good look for you.”
“You said you liked it.”
“I did. When people say they made the ground shake they just mean it metaphorically, but you can say you humped the bed to pieces.”
“Keep your voice down! I wasn’t “humping the bed” I was-” Reid paused and turned into a whole new shade of red.
“I know….” Morgan leered.
“And I wasn’t the only one on the bed.”
“I know that too….”
“Do you have to make everything sounds so dirty?”
“Right now? Yep. Can’t wait to tell my Baby Girl. She’ll be so proud of you.”
“You wont say a word to her or anyone else!” Reid exclaimed.
“Try to stop me.”
“I’ll get a single bed.”
“Okay, that’ll stop me.”
“Good. Let’s just get a new bed and get out. We can get it delivered.”
“You can’t rush bed buying! That’s something you’re supposed to enjoy. Like good sex.”
“Bed buying includes comparing different models and price ranges. Then we’ll wait for few days to get it delivered, so your comparison is pretty shaky.”
“True. I’ve never paid for sex.”
“Try to focus. How bout that one?”
“That one doesn’t have a headboard.”
“We have the nightlight above the bed anyway.”
“No, we need…..” Morgan paused and a wide grin appeared on his face. “Oh yeah….”
“What?”
“Look at that….”
Reid turned to look at the large brass bed, with a high headboard.
“That’s very….. retro.”
“That’s perfect!”
“What if you hit your head on all that brass? Did you know that bedroom related accidents are-”
“Pretty Boy, just look at it. I can picture us in it already. You with that hideous little tie of yours and me cuffed to that headboard.”
“We’re not doing that again! That was what broke the old one.”
“But it was a good way to go. Think about all the nights and days of debauchery that bed had seen….. Our game was it’s swan song. The hump that broke the camels back.”
“You mean the straw.”
“Nope.”
“Why do we keep coming back to this topic?”
“Because it’s so fascinating.” Morgan leaped onto the bed and landed on his back. “You gotta try this. A really good mattress and this is Heaven.”
Reid climbed in. He sat down and started jiggling.
“What the hell are you doing?” Morgan mused.
“I want to see if it can handle the strain of our weight and regular movements. Although it’s possible that the testing can actually diminish it’s durability-”
“I don’t think we can test our usual activities in the shop.” Morgan laughed.
“You know what I mean. It has to be durable. How many beds have you had?”
“Few, but I’ve never actually broken one before.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Hell yeah….”
“Good, because you’re paying for the new bed.”
“Why me? I thought we were gonna split the bill.”
“You wanted to be cuffed to the bed. You wanted to play with body paints. You wanted to wear chaps. You’re paying.”
“Fine, but if I pay it, I’ll choose it.”
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“You still want the left side?” Morgan asked.
“What?” Reid walked into the bedroom drying his hair. He was dressed in a stripy pyjama, and his glasses were about to slide down his nose.
“You want the left side?”
“Does it matter?” Reid pointed to the mattresses on the bedroom floor.
“You can take the guestroom, if you want.”
“I told you: I will not sleep alone in a single bed, if I have other alternatives.”
“We could both sleep there….” Morgan offered.
“And wake up with a stiff neck.” Reid took his blanket and settled to the mattress. “It’s just one night.”
“And when the new bed gets here we have to christen it. Several times.” Morgan laid down next to him.
“Your logic’s not consistent.”
“What do you mean?”
“You wanted to christen the old bed, the couch, kitchen table, bathtub, the stairs-”
“Sounds really consistent!”
“We’ve never christened the bedroom floor.”
“That’s true….” Morgan grinned. “You wanna do something about it?”
“Why not? Right now there’s nothing here that we could break.”