Life is beautiful
"It's really, really, something. I've come and teetered near losing all my friends, or what's left to lose, and while much may already have been, it's so nice to still be able to go on happy. Rejoicing at the good and happiness it's brought me, and just letting it go. Happy to accept it's return, yet unbothered by it's passing."
Perhaps much around me has shown it's cracks, the fragilities and stresses that things and people find so hard to bear, but it still inspires and makes me happy. For all the personal relationships of mine that have filled with drama over the past few months, the friendships that have weakened and been shaken, I love it all. I've managed to find a place within myself that allows me to walk through these tempests without a scratch, and a joyous smile on my face. I've nearly a neverending stream of good moments and times for three or four weeks, and they've only served to highlight the happiness and hope to be found in strife and sorrow.
"As a musing, I think the recognition of the mortality of something allows us to appreciate it all the more."
It's wonderful. Words can't begin to describe it, less in written form. How do you explain.. being so free? For those of you that don't know, as I don't think I've posted it, I took a trip to Canada awhile back. Unplanned, alone, unworried. What started out as a trip to the Skagit valley for photography ended with me visiting Whistler, a place I haven't been to for many years. While I came within death's grasp more times than I can count, I loved every minute of it. I picked up three hitchhikers, was able to enjoy old memories and new, to hold good conversations and offer help to strangers. To spend time in a foreign country with little tying you down, little money, and not much more than the will to go on and see what lies ahead. It was.. wonderous. By seeing the hitchhikers, and speaking with them, I got to experience those that can be so free as well, and throw caution to the wind, enjoying life for all it may bring, pain and pleasure. I haven't met many people like that in my life, and I always feel happy to find them. It's a curious thing I realized the other day.. I've, in a way, taken up that mantle. At least amongst the people I know, it seems like there's so much restraint and withholding when it comes to what we want, and it's a strange thing, that I would become the one to take life by the horns, and live it. To take what I want and live every moment out of it, embracing the moment and it's death. Hell, to embrace my own death and smile at it.
"Death smiles at us all. All we can do is smile back."
I'm happy. No, I'm free. I don't have a clue where my life will lead, or what I even will want to do with it, beyond being what I am now. But then, if that's what is, then I suppose everything I'll ever need, I already have. And nobody can take that from me. My only wish, is that all of you can be as free as I find myself now. Life, and all in it, is too short. Or perhaps I should say, it's just right, and we only find it too short. That we take it for granted and put off living. We'll stumble over it here and there, quickly gather ourselves up and carry on as though nothing happened. And one day, it's too late. Perhaps it's someone we meant to get to know better, or a food we always meant to try. Maybe a strange country, or new activity. Maybe it's just that our lives have reached their end, and whatever we wish we could have done, there no longer is time for. I ask all of you, in what little power I may hold over you, go out and experience this wonderful gift that we have before us. Live your lives, and drink it up. Regrets and half-accomplishments are too heavy in this world, they need not be with you.
And as a final note, I once knew a man, Winton. He lived this fearless life, embraced it. I can't say I ever knew him well, but I'm honored to have had what little time I did with him, and I owe thanks to him for allowing me to experience what he brought into this world. I can't say I'm his successor in this world, though I wouldn't object. And I'll never be able to ask him directly any longer if I could be. All I can hope, is to honor him and what he showed me, by living it as best as I know how, and hopefully allowing others to as well. I'll write details next time, which hopefully won't be so far apart.
Perhaps much around me has shown it's cracks, the fragilities and stresses that things and people find so hard to bear, but it still inspires and makes me happy. For all the personal relationships of mine that have filled with drama over the past few months, the friendships that have weakened and been shaken, I love it all. I've managed to find a place within myself that allows me to walk through these tempests without a scratch, and a joyous smile on my face. I've nearly a neverending stream of good moments and times for three or four weeks, and they've only served to highlight the happiness and hope to be found in strife and sorrow.
"As a musing, I think the recognition of the mortality of something allows us to appreciate it all the more."
It's wonderful. Words can't begin to describe it, less in written form. How do you explain.. being so free? For those of you that don't know, as I don't think I've posted it, I took a trip to Canada awhile back. Unplanned, alone, unworried. What started out as a trip to the Skagit valley for photography ended with me visiting Whistler, a place I haven't been to for many years. While I came within death's grasp more times than I can count, I loved every minute of it. I picked up three hitchhikers, was able to enjoy old memories and new, to hold good conversations and offer help to strangers. To spend time in a foreign country with little tying you down, little money, and not much more than the will to go on and see what lies ahead. It was.. wonderous. By seeing the hitchhikers, and speaking with them, I got to experience those that can be so free as well, and throw caution to the wind, enjoying life for all it may bring, pain and pleasure. I haven't met many people like that in my life, and I always feel happy to find them. It's a curious thing I realized the other day.. I've, in a way, taken up that mantle. At least amongst the people I know, it seems like there's so much restraint and withholding when it comes to what we want, and it's a strange thing, that I would become the one to take life by the horns, and live it. To take what I want and live every moment out of it, embracing the moment and it's death. Hell, to embrace my own death and smile at it.
"Death smiles at us all. All we can do is smile back."
I'm happy. No, I'm free. I don't have a clue where my life will lead, or what I even will want to do with it, beyond being what I am now. But then, if that's what is, then I suppose everything I'll ever need, I already have. And nobody can take that from me. My only wish, is that all of you can be as free as I find myself now. Life, and all in it, is too short. Or perhaps I should say, it's just right, and we only find it too short. That we take it for granted and put off living. We'll stumble over it here and there, quickly gather ourselves up and carry on as though nothing happened. And one day, it's too late. Perhaps it's someone we meant to get to know better, or a food we always meant to try. Maybe a strange country, or new activity. Maybe it's just that our lives have reached their end, and whatever we wish we could have done, there no longer is time for. I ask all of you, in what little power I may hold over you, go out and experience this wonderful gift that we have before us. Live your lives, and drink it up. Regrets and half-accomplishments are too heavy in this world, they need not be with you.
And as a final note, I once knew a man, Winton. He lived this fearless life, embraced it. I can't say I ever knew him well, but I'm honored to have had what little time I did with him, and I owe thanks to him for allowing me to experience what he brought into this world. I can't say I'm his successor in this world, though I wouldn't object. And I'll never be able to ask him directly any longer if I could be. All I can hope, is to honor him and what he showed me, by living it as best as I know how, and hopefully allowing others to as well. I'll write details next time, which hopefully won't be so far apart.