Electric Stars [Billie/Mike] Chapter 7
Series Title: And All The Electric Stars Are Shining...
Chapter: 7 - Conscience Bleeding.
Fandom: Green Day
Author: finksgirl
Rating: PG-13 for three swears.
Pairing: Billie/Mike, my OTP.
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, sadly. Title from the song Hold On by Green Day.
Summary: Chapter seven in the series. Set in modern day. Billie learns that adjusting to a new life can be hard.
Dedications: My very own Mikey, Bobbye. This chapter is also dedicated to the people that still read this. =]
~*~*~*~
Previous Parts
Billie's MySpace
(Yes! I have updated the blog. Billie needs some cuddles. Must read.)
Mike's MySpace
~*~*~*~
- - -
Billie plopped down on Mike's bed after putting away the last of his clothes. Our bed, you live here now. He smiled a little to himself for once ignoring the gnawing guilt that's festered inside him for the last few days.
"That's the last of it, right?" Mike asked, lying down next to where his lover sat.
"Mmhmm, I didn't know how much stuff I had."
It was an unsaid agreement between the two of them that the name 'Adrienne' was not to be spoken in this house. It was the past, recent and painful, but it was behind them. Well, almost. Billie knew that there was still the divorce and how they'd split Adeline Street. He could only imagine how hard this would be if they had children.
He sighed, looking down at Mike for a moment before the taller man tugged him down for a kiss.
"What do you want to do now?" he asked softly, touching his cheek.
Billie pecked his lips again, lying down and resting his head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "I don't even know. Let's just...lay here."
Mike moved his hand to Billie's hair, playing with his thick hair. They'd been here three days, most of which was spent unpacking, cuddling and avoiding important conversations. Billie's hair had begun curling at the ends, a result of going that long without his straightening ritual. The man also had the beginnings of a five o'clock shadow. Scruff really suited him, Mike thought it'd look sexy as soon as the bags under his eyes and that sad, scared look went away.
"That song. It was really good," Mike said in an attempt to break the silence that engulfed the house all too recently.
"Oh, thanks," Billie answered weakly. He almost forgot that he'd written it. He wrote it in front of Mike, that hadn't even occurred to him. He played one of his own songs for him, let alone wrote it in front of him. He never did that. Being so open in front of anyone scared him more than anything but the idea of sharing that with Mike was certainly alluring.
"How come you've never told me you could write songs?" he asked, adjusting his grip around him and keeping his tone light.
"I haven't really told anyone before. It's just a thing I've done since high school. I never thought I was that good."
Mike was amazed, he was so talented and if the man wasn't so shy he knew he could become a great singer, hell, he probably would've been one by now.
"Billie, you're great. That song was... It was really good, better than the radio," he said honestly. Mike refused to listen to the radio. Good music pretty much stopped once The Clash split, though he did have to admit that there were a few gems to be seen and he happened to be holding one. He kissed his neck softly.
Billie smiled, his first real smile since the fight. "At least you think that."
"I know that," he said firmly.
"It was one of those little fantasies I had," he stated softly, not lifting his head. "I thought that maybe I could play music, make a living off it. Even just writing songs for someone else. Just, y'know, getting it out there. It's silly, I know."
Mike sat up a bit, arm still around the small man and tilted his chin up with two fingers.
"It isn't silly, Billie. It could probably happen, even now. If only you'd let some people see it."
Billie looked away, not comfortable talking about this just yet.
"Alright, I'll drop it. For now," he added. "You've got so much to offer, baby. You just have to get the confidence to see it yourself."
"I don't have anything to offer, Mikey. I haven't done anything. The line was mostly Adie. I barely finished high school. The thought of playing my songs in front of just my good friends scares the fuck out of me. I-I'm just..."
"Stop thinking like that, right now. You are just Billie Joe. My best friend, my boyfriend, the thing I love the most in the world," he punctuated each title with a kiss. "I just wish you could see what I see every time I look in those eyes. Everyone else sees what a great person you are."
"Yeah, I'm sure Adrienne sees what a great husband I am. Tossing what we had for sixteen years away like it was-was fucking nothing," his breath started to shake.
"Billie. Billie, calm down. Stop blaming yourself."
"I'm the r-reason she kicked me o-out. The reason her l-life's fucked. I'm such a fuck up," he stood up on his shaky legs and tugged a little at his hair.
Shit. Mike got up, placing his hands on Billie's shoulders and forced the man to look at him.
"Look at me, Billie. You need to stop downing yourself. I'm just as guilty as you are and now we have to face this together. I love you, okay? And I don't want you any way but happy."
Billie bit his trembling lip, finding it hard to focus on his face when the edges of his vision were blurred with tears.
"Baby," Mike whispered softly, wiping away some of the tears that were forming around those gorgeous eyes. "We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be just fine. All you have to do is trust me. Can you do that?"
Billie nodded, moving forward to clutch his shoulders.
"Sh... Sh... It's okay, I got you," he shushed him and hoped that what he said wasn't going to be a lie.
Billie finally calmed down. His eyes burned from crying, just as they had the day before and the day before that. He wanted one day where he could go without crying and just be happy with the man holding him. He didn't deserve to be caressed and held protectively when his wife, ex-wife, didn't receive the same treatment.
He placed a gentle kiss to the nape of Mike's slender neck and pulled back. He wished this pain would just go away. This gnawing guilt was eating away at him, he could feel his conscience bleeding out onto the carpeted floor. It felt like he was drowning and the only thing keeping him afloat was the two hands gripping his waist.
"Okay?"
He nodded again, knowing it was a lie. Like he was okay. The only good thing he's done the last few days was make Mike happy. He glanced up into his eyes. Was he really making him happy? Mike looked almost as miserable as himself.
"No matter how hard it looks now, we'll get through this," he brushed a few strands of hair away from Billie's face. "This was supposed to happen, even if we're two decades late. We can still make this work, Billie. You want that, right?"
"You know I do, Mike."
Mike placed a gentle kiss against his lips. Were they really going to be okay? Only time will tell.
---
Look at me updating fast! =O
I did post a blog on Billie's MySpace and I'd LOVE to have someone actually comment it. I thought the MySpace's would be a cool idea but no one's treating them like the fic universes characters. It's not "the" Billie. It's my Billie, the Billie I created that you guys love reading about. And if you check out his blog he really needs a friend to talk to. Blog here
-Ash
Chapter: 7 - Conscience Bleeding.
Fandom: Green Day
Author: finksgirl
Rating: PG-13 for three swears.
Pairing: Billie/Mike, my OTP.
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, sadly. Title from the song Hold On by Green Day.
Summary: Chapter seven in the series. Set in modern day. Billie learns that adjusting to a new life can be hard.
Dedications: My very own Mikey, Bobbye. This chapter is also dedicated to the people that still read this. =]
~*~*~*~
Previous Parts
Billie's MySpace
(Yes! I have updated the blog. Billie needs some cuddles. Must read.)
Mike's MySpace
~*~*~*~
- - -
Billie plopped down on Mike's bed after putting away the last of his clothes. Our bed, you live here now. He smiled a little to himself for once ignoring the gnawing guilt that's festered inside him for the last few days.
"That's the last of it, right?" Mike asked, lying down next to where his lover sat.
"Mmhmm, I didn't know how much stuff I had."
It was an unsaid agreement between the two of them that the name 'Adrienne' was not to be spoken in this house. It was the past, recent and painful, but it was behind them. Well, almost. Billie knew that there was still the divorce and how they'd split Adeline Street. He could only imagine how hard this would be if they had children.
He sighed, looking down at Mike for a moment before the taller man tugged him down for a kiss.
"What do you want to do now?" he asked softly, touching his cheek.
Billie pecked his lips again, lying down and resting his head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "I don't even know. Let's just...lay here."
Mike moved his hand to Billie's hair, playing with his thick hair. They'd been here three days, most of which was spent unpacking, cuddling and avoiding important conversations. Billie's hair had begun curling at the ends, a result of going that long without his straightening ritual. The man also had the beginnings of a five o'clock shadow. Scruff really suited him, Mike thought it'd look sexy as soon as the bags under his eyes and that sad, scared look went away.
"That song. It was really good," Mike said in an attempt to break the silence that engulfed the house all too recently.
"Oh, thanks," Billie answered weakly. He almost forgot that he'd written it. He wrote it in front of Mike, that hadn't even occurred to him. He played one of his own songs for him, let alone wrote it in front of him. He never did that. Being so open in front of anyone scared him more than anything but the idea of sharing that with Mike was certainly alluring.
"How come you've never told me you could write songs?" he asked, adjusting his grip around him and keeping his tone light.
"I haven't really told anyone before. It's just a thing I've done since high school. I never thought I was that good."
Mike was amazed, he was so talented and if the man wasn't so shy he knew he could become a great singer, hell, he probably would've been one by now.
"Billie, you're great. That song was... It was really good, better than the radio," he said honestly. Mike refused to listen to the radio. Good music pretty much stopped once The Clash split, though he did have to admit that there were a few gems to be seen and he happened to be holding one. He kissed his neck softly.
Billie smiled, his first real smile since the fight. "At least you think that."
"I know that," he said firmly.
"It was one of those little fantasies I had," he stated softly, not lifting his head. "I thought that maybe I could play music, make a living off it. Even just writing songs for someone else. Just, y'know, getting it out there. It's silly, I know."
Mike sat up a bit, arm still around the small man and tilted his chin up with two fingers.
"It isn't silly, Billie. It could probably happen, even now. If only you'd let some people see it."
Billie looked away, not comfortable talking about this just yet.
"Alright, I'll drop it. For now," he added. "You've got so much to offer, baby. You just have to get the confidence to see it yourself."
"I don't have anything to offer, Mikey. I haven't done anything. The line was mostly Adie. I barely finished high school. The thought of playing my songs in front of just my good friends scares the fuck out of me. I-I'm just..."
"Stop thinking like that, right now. You are just Billie Joe. My best friend, my boyfriend, the thing I love the most in the world," he punctuated each title with a kiss. "I just wish you could see what I see every time I look in those eyes. Everyone else sees what a great person you are."
"Yeah, I'm sure Adrienne sees what a great husband I am. Tossing what we had for sixteen years away like it was-was fucking nothing," his breath started to shake.
"Billie. Billie, calm down. Stop blaming yourself."
"I'm the r-reason she kicked me o-out. The reason her l-life's fucked. I'm such a fuck up," he stood up on his shaky legs and tugged a little at his hair.
Shit. Mike got up, placing his hands on Billie's shoulders and forced the man to look at him.
"Look at me, Billie. You need to stop downing yourself. I'm just as guilty as you are and now we have to face this together. I love you, okay? And I don't want you any way but happy."
Billie bit his trembling lip, finding it hard to focus on his face when the edges of his vision were blurred with tears.
"Baby," Mike whispered softly, wiping away some of the tears that were forming around those gorgeous eyes. "We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be just fine. All you have to do is trust me. Can you do that?"
Billie nodded, moving forward to clutch his shoulders.
"Sh... Sh... It's okay, I got you," he shushed him and hoped that what he said wasn't going to be a lie.
Billie finally calmed down. His eyes burned from crying, just as they had the day before and the day before that. He wanted one day where he could go without crying and just be happy with the man holding him. He didn't deserve to be caressed and held protectively when his wife, ex-wife, didn't receive the same treatment.
He placed a gentle kiss to the nape of Mike's slender neck and pulled back. He wished this pain would just go away. This gnawing guilt was eating away at him, he could feel his conscience bleeding out onto the carpeted floor. It felt like he was drowning and the only thing keeping him afloat was the two hands gripping his waist.
"Okay?"
He nodded again, knowing it was a lie. Like he was okay. The only good thing he's done the last few days was make Mike happy. He glanced up into his eyes. Was he really making him happy? Mike looked almost as miserable as himself.
"No matter how hard it looks now, we'll get through this," he brushed a few strands of hair away from Billie's face. "This was supposed to happen, even if we're two decades late. We can still make this work, Billie. You want that, right?"
"You know I do, Mike."
Mike placed a gentle kiss against his lips. Were they really going to be okay? Only time will tell.
---
Look at me updating fast! =O
I did post a blog on Billie's MySpace and I'd LOVE to have someone actually comment it. I thought the MySpace's would be a cool idea but no one's treating them like the fic universes characters. It's not "the" Billie. It's my Billie, the Billie I created that you guys love reading about. And if you check out his blog he really needs a friend to talk to. Blog here
-Ash