going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile
It was 8 years ago today American Idol premiered and Ryan and Simon -- love 'em or hate 'em -- took their first step in becoming the pop cultural icons they are now.
Simon expected the show to get pulled off the air within 3 or 4 weeks. He was very, very wrong.
And now: pic spam of the guys from their very first episode.
(With apologies: poor quality video leads to poor quality images.)
Ryan starts off the show looking terribly yellow. Some other dude is also present. (Not pictured.)
We learn that Ryan is not at all opposed to looking ridiculous.
While Simon is very srs bzns.
Although not above wanting to show his car fetish on television.
Ryan is a little bit of a voyeur. We will soon learn that this is a recurring theme with him.
Ryan sums up his feelings towards women.
And then spies on more auditions.
RyRy glomps his very first baby gay!
And Simon has not yet figured out what the middle finger means in the US.
Simon actually enjoys some of the bad performances and plays along!
Ryan, this is starting to become a problem.
Simon's whole *handwaves* thing with black women of a certain size is apparent multiple times. (Except none of the Idols in question ever share the screen with him for a good shot.)
Ryan is totally on board with this development.
Oh man, this series of pics. So Ryan starts off spying on yet another audition.
Only to get completely mauled by a baby gay.
Completely. Mauled.
As in, he needs the wall for support.
But he's into it.
And into hair tousling.
And remains into it well after the baby gay in question has moved on.
What you can't tell from this picture is that Ryan's all "OMG Simon is being grumpy and arguing with the other judges! Whee!"
And here is Ryan harassing random people on the street, trying to justify the opinions of those who find him annoying.
We see the one aspect of Ryan and Brian's partnership that was seamless: the understanding that Ryan manhandles the male contestants while Dunk is all over the female ones.
Random dude serenades Simon with "Hit Me Baby One More Time".
And Simon loves the hell out of the performance and sends him on to Hollywood for understanding that appreciating Simon is more important than vocal talent.
Random dude then drapes himself on Ryan in celebration.
And then, like, swoons.
Ryan understands this reaction to being in Simon's presence and helpfully picks up random dude.
And then pretty much just walks off with him for a really long time.
Simon says that for the first time (after Justin Guarini sings) he believes that America could have better talent than the UK. Paula checks for a fever.
Dunk is allowed to make an appearance here only because the fountain going off behind the guys is amusing me. And because Ryan is incredibly orange.
It's only over the phone so it's not nearly as adorable as later instances, but Ryan shares his very first squee with a competitor's mom.
This woman's a former beauty queen. Dunk's got a handle on this one while Ryan keeps his arms firmly crossed the entire time.
Ooh! Here's Ryan dealing with moms in person! Their conversation goes like this. Ryan: "Here I am being adorable with someone's mom." Mom: "Would dating you further my daughter's career?" Ryan: "There are so many problems with this conversation even if we overlook the major logistical hurdle to that possibility."
Omg I forgot this happened! Kristin Holt makes a spectacular wipe out in front of the judges and Simon cracks the hell up. (Um, but she's totally unhurt so he's not being a complete ass here.)
Ryan finds something to wear that's yellowier than himself!
I hate hate skits but Dunk throwing a hissy fit because Ryan won't let him talk, and then Ryan running after the car after Dunk leaves without him is kinda funny. Funny? No, mostly I just like watching Ryan run.
Miami Ryan!
Someone sings Isn't He Lovely to Simon and Simon's all "My name is Simon and I approve this message." Psst, Simon. What is up with your eyes? Obvious tanning is obvious.
Wow, I forgot this was from season 1. A drag queen shows up to serenade Simon.
And Simon has the most fun of all.
And starts blushing a bit.
So contestants are pretty much not allowed to approach the judges ever? Simon's all "you can totes give me a kiss."
And then the show ends with another skit that I can't bring myself to hate.
Mostly because Ryan is in handcuffs.
Holy crap, and then the previews for the next ep.
The voiceover is basically Ryan saying "and sometimes I cry."
I don't think it shows as well in stills, but Ryan's cheeks are definitely wet here.
And then a devil's threeway of wrongness happens to close out the episode.
That's it. American Idol, eight years ago today.
Simon expected the show to get pulled off the air within 3 or 4 weeks. He was very, very wrong.
And now: pic spam of the guys from their very first episode.
(With apologies: poor quality video leads to poor quality images.)
Ryan starts off the show looking terribly yellow. Some other dude is also present. (Not pictured.)
We learn that Ryan is not at all opposed to looking ridiculous.
While Simon is very srs bzns.
Although not above wanting to show his car fetish on television.
Ryan is a little bit of a voyeur. We will soon learn that this is a recurring theme with him.
Ryan sums up his feelings towards women.
And then spies on more auditions.
RyRy glomps his very first baby gay!
And Simon has not yet figured out what the middle finger means in the US.
Simon actually enjoys some of the bad performances and plays along!
Ryan, this is starting to become a problem.
Simon's whole *handwaves* thing with black women of a certain size is apparent multiple times. (Except none of the Idols in question ever share the screen with him for a good shot.)
Ryan is totally on board with this development.
Oh man, this series of pics. So Ryan starts off spying on yet another audition.
Only to get completely mauled by a baby gay.
Completely. Mauled.
As in, he needs the wall for support.
But he's into it.
And into hair tousling.
And remains into it well after the baby gay in question has moved on.
What you can't tell from this picture is that Ryan's all "OMG Simon is being grumpy and arguing with the other judges! Whee!"
And here is Ryan harassing random people on the street, trying to justify the opinions of those who find him annoying.
We see the one aspect of Ryan and Brian's partnership that was seamless: the understanding that Ryan manhandles the male contestants while Dunk is all over the female ones.
Random dude serenades Simon with "Hit Me Baby One More Time".
And Simon loves the hell out of the performance and sends him on to Hollywood for understanding that appreciating Simon is more important than vocal talent.
Random dude then drapes himself on Ryan in celebration.
And then, like, swoons.
Ryan understands this reaction to being in Simon's presence and helpfully picks up random dude.
And then pretty much just walks off with him for a really long time.
Simon says that for the first time (after Justin Guarini sings) he believes that America could have better talent than the UK. Paula checks for a fever.
Dunk is allowed to make an appearance here only because the fountain going off behind the guys is amusing me. And because Ryan is incredibly orange.
It's only over the phone so it's not nearly as adorable as later instances, but Ryan shares his very first squee with a competitor's mom.
This woman's a former beauty queen. Dunk's got a handle on this one while Ryan keeps his arms firmly crossed the entire time.
Ooh! Here's Ryan dealing with moms in person! Their conversation goes like this. Ryan: "Here I am being adorable with someone's mom." Mom: "Would dating you further my daughter's career?" Ryan: "There are so many problems with this conversation even if we overlook the major logistical hurdle to that possibility."
Omg I forgot this happened! Kristin Holt makes a spectacular wipe out in front of the judges and Simon cracks the hell up. (Um, but she's totally unhurt so he's not being a complete ass here.)
Ryan finds something to wear that's yellowier than himself!
I hate hate skits but Dunk throwing a hissy fit because Ryan won't let him talk, and then Ryan running after the car after Dunk leaves without him is kinda funny. Funny? No, mostly I just like watching Ryan run.
Miami Ryan!
Someone sings Isn't He Lovely to Simon and Simon's all "My name is Simon and I approve this message." Psst, Simon. What is up with your eyes? Obvious tanning is obvious.
Wow, I forgot this was from season 1. A drag queen shows up to serenade Simon.
And Simon has the most fun of all.
And starts blushing a bit.
So contestants are pretty much not allowed to approach the judges ever? Simon's all "you can totes give me a kiss."
And then the show ends with another skit that I can't bring myself to hate.
Mostly because Ryan is in handcuffs.
Holy crap, and then the previews for the next ep.
The voiceover is basically Ryan saying "and sometimes I cry."
I don't think it shows as well in stills, but Ryan's cheeks are definitely wet here.
And then a devil's threeway of wrongness happens to close out the episode.
That's it. American Idol, eight years ago today.