(no subject)
They ask you to change. To completely rewrite yourself to fit their needs. To become what they want you to be. There has only been one who ever asked you to change for yourself, who ever made you want to be a better person, not for them, but because they saw that you could. And now they're gone, and you're lost without them. Substituting with whatever you can find just to try and get back to that feeling. But it's never the same, you never quite make it back to that happy place where you once were. Always just out of reach, and now you're not sure that you'll ever make it back. You're wondering if that was as good as it will ever get, and you managed to fuck it up. At least you have the dream though, the dream can keep you going for a few more acts. Just enough to get you out of bed in the morning. To face the day one more time, everyday, just one more time and then it will be better. You tell yourself that every morning and for a while you believed it. But now you can see that it's all just a lie. Like the rest of your life. A long, pointless lie.