just thinking.
Bedivere was talking about being in love, and I just started thinking, I guess. I do, sometimes. I think about a lot of stuff. I mean, it's so easy to love my plants. Because--I dunno, you ever hold a tomato? They're round and you can feel how the skin's pulled tight, and they have all these ridges and furrows and they smell beautiful, and if it's sunny they're all warm--and I think, how could anybody not love something that great? Or corn, with all the silk and the little blobs--they taste like milk if you squirt them. If you cook them, they taste like--corn, I guess. But if you eat 'em without being cooked, they're really milky.
I don't think I love them, though, on account of being scared to love people. I mean, I do love people. I love people a lot. Just not that way, really. Well--I mean--I guess I just tried--
I dunno. I never even told Heli about it, so nobody knows. I mean, it's not something you can talk about. And I don't mind. It's not--it doesn't make my life hard or anything. I don't mind. I get more worried about Mordred and Galahad and all than I do about that. I think about it sometimes, but not a lot.
Only because of Bedivere talking about it, I been thinking, which I don't mind, it's just--I really do miss her sometimes. We had the most great carrots. We used to go out in the morning and pick carrots. And she had an apron--so we put them all in her apron, all these funny bumpy little carrots--and we could both cook so we took turns making things with all our veggies in. We were always busy, 'cause, you know, with gardens you always are. The weeds are as fast as anything, and there's always something wanting harvesting or planting or picking back, or netting or staking or something. And when we didn't have the garden we sometimes went fishing, and sometimes we climbed trees. She was so funny when she climbed trees! She'd tie her skirts all up so they wouldn't get stuck, and she looked really great that way. And in winter we'd make hot tea and stuff, and sometimes tell stories, 'cause I had lots of stories from my quests, and she had lots of stories about her home where she used to live.
I dunno. It's funny, I guess, like she was just made for me, 'cause we loved everything the same, except she liked pressing flowers, too. And flowers, really. She kept some roses while I did eggplants. And then it all turned out to be--not really real, and it was so weird.
And I miss her. Right just now I miss her a lot. I mean, I can't even wonder what she's doing, 'cause she--well, I don't know, I don't.
The first frost last week got my carrots. I'm thinkin' maybe I'll do them again inside in a planter, if I can keep the house warm enough. I know what I ought to do is build a greenhouse. I wonder if I can find any sheet glass. Maybe! That'll be my project for this week, looking for sheet glass. If I did that I could do carrots, but I don't wanna do tomatoes or lettuce. They're not as good. Tomatoes need to be in season, and lettuce does fine under raised beds and glass. Okay! I'll be busy! I like having something to do.
I don't think I love them, though, on account of being scared to love people. I mean, I do love people. I love people a lot. Just not that way, really. Well--I mean--I guess I just tried--
I dunno. I never even told Heli about it, so nobody knows. I mean, it's not something you can talk about. And I don't mind. It's not--it doesn't make my life hard or anything. I don't mind. I get more worried about Mordred and Galahad and all than I do about that. I think about it sometimes, but not a lot.
Only because of Bedivere talking about it, I been thinking, which I don't mind, it's just--I really do miss her sometimes. We had the most great carrots. We used to go out in the morning and pick carrots. And she had an apron--so we put them all in her apron, all these funny bumpy little carrots--and we could both cook so we took turns making things with all our veggies in. We were always busy, 'cause, you know, with gardens you always are. The weeds are as fast as anything, and there's always something wanting harvesting or planting or picking back, or netting or staking or something. And when we didn't have the garden we sometimes went fishing, and sometimes we climbed trees. She was so funny when she climbed trees! She'd tie her skirts all up so they wouldn't get stuck, and she looked really great that way. And in winter we'd make hot tea and stuff, and sometimes tell stories, 'cause I had lots of stories from my quests, and she had lots of stories about her home where she used to live.
I dunno. It's funny, I guess, like she was just made for me, 'cause we loved everything the same, except she liked pressing flowers, too. And flowers, really. She kept some roses while I did eggplants. And then it all turned out to be--not really real, and it was so weird.
And I miss her. Right just now I miss her a lot. I mean, I can't even wonder what she's doing, 'cause she--well, I don't know, I don't.
The first frost last week got my carrots. I'm thinkin' maybe I'll do them again inside in a planter, if I can keep the house warm enough. I know what I ought to do is build a greenhouse. I wonder if I can find any sheet glass. Maybe! That'll be my project for this week, looking for sheet glass. If I did that I could do carrots, but I don't wanna do tomatoes or lettuce. They're not as good. Tomatoes need to be in season, and lettuce does fine under raised beds and glass. Okay! I'll be busy! I like having something to do.