(no subject)
Got suckered into cleaning out the Closet of No Return for my mother yesterday. Barely made it out alive. I have an inexplicable fear of both spiders and dust-bunnies, so it’s a miracle I didn’t drop dead of a heart attack. Actually, a ventriloquist dummy very nearly did me in. That’s just not something you want to shine a flashlight on when you’re all alone. “No spiders here, okay, no spiders. Relax. Just a little bit of dust. It’s all good. No spiders over there, no cobwebs in that corner. No prob- Gah! Holy mother of-! Floating head! Floating head! I’m going to die… I’m going to die in this closet, and the spiders will eat me! Not good. Not… hang on. Is that a dummy? That’s… well, that’s Charlie McCarthy, isn’t it? Fuck you, Charlie, okay? Just fuck you.”
Anyway. Towards the end of the clean-up I found an old box of letters and newspaper clippings that apparently belonged to my great-grandmother. I have serious questions about this woman now. On one hand, she decided to save a bunch of old religious poetry and newspaper clippings about handy household tips. On the other hand, she saved a bunch of risqué postcards sent to her by someone only identified as “F.” I still don’t know if I’m amused or creeped out. (I do love a brief message on one of the postcards - postmarked September 13, 1938 - “Dear Eth- Having swell time. Wish you were here. Everything ducky, Toot Toot. -F.)
The newspaper clippings are actually infuriating. The woman saved the most boring things possible (how to remove a sweet apple stain, a new way of making tea, knit edging on fancy work). The flip side of the clippings are invariably fascinating, but they get cut off…
A reminder that the meeting of the Girls’ Never Idle Club will meet with Mrs. Herbert Anderson Tuesday evening. Flip side - Otto F. Rullman, 74-year-old grocer, suicides.
Geographers believe that Arabia, now mostly desert, was well-watered and fertile in early times. Flip side - Konstantine Gurgiotis found dead in bed over his restaurant at 57-60 Center Street.
State Grange Master plans for busy year. Flip side - North end woman found on Kennebec bridge rail, said she and husband entered suicide pact.
Two pounds of seasoned wood have the same fuel value as one pound of coal. Flip side - Authorities declare Konstantine Gurgiotis was murdered.
Large numbers of Roman coins have been found in southern India, confirming accounts of commerce between the two ancient nations. Flip side - Miss Jane Sewell Murphy suffers fractured leg, four broken ribs and loss of five teeth in automobile collision.
Jumbles - 4 eggs, 3 cups of sugar, 1 cup of butter, ½ teaspoonful of soda, a little nutmeg. Stir in flour until able to roll, cut with a scalloped cake cutter, dip into sugar, back in a quick oven. Flip side - Reward of $500 offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of slayer of Konstantine Gurgiotis, Greek restaurateur, whose body was found May 2.
And the real killer? (Not of Konstantine, because I have no idea how that turned out…) A clipping of Notes From Lady Contributors, containing brief articles such as ‘Fred’s Appreciation,’ ‘Good Advice,’ and ‘Fancy Work, Tea & Cake.’ It’s cut on an angle, so the story on the other side doesn’t just end abruptly like the others - a portion of the paragraphs are missing.
This is what I’m left with:
WOMAN IN DIXIE
A Singular Duel with Fence Rails in
North Carolina - Feminine Jealousy and
Brutality.
Monday week, in the Tyron valley region in
North Carolina, there was a desperate and fatal
duel between two young women. One, Gracie
Mills, lived just over the state line in South Car-
olina. The other, Jane Jackson, lived in North
Carolina. A year ago Robert Selby, a young
farmer living in the neighborhood, began paying
court to Gracie Mills, but he did not make any
headway. About six months since he began to
be attentive to Jane Jackson, who received his
advances favorably.
Miss Mills, who had before rejected his address-
es, now began to hate the woman who was ac
cepting them, and her dislike was returned, th
women frequently saying harsh things of ea
other. Gracie Mills endeavored to win the yo
man back to her side, but she could not n
him to desert his new-found love.
Tuesday night Jane Jackson was sitting
humble home with Dora Spencer, a youn
Her mother and sister were away. At
a voice was heard outside calling to J
son. She went out and never retur
friend went out afterward and called,
no reply. Wednesday morning t
was solved. Some distance from
clump of pines, the ground show
desperate struggle. Stones an
rail were lying about stained w
was discovered through the
search discovered the body
creek near by.
Her head was crushed in
evidently by having been
stiffened fingers clutche
which has been recog
Mills. The tracks sho
na rival had been assi
all that can be learne
men met upon the s
and that the m
Gracie Mills, and
crushed in Jane
about the affair
Gracie Miss ha
her.
What?!? No! You can’t do this to me! Stones and (fence?) rail stained with… blood, right? It has to be blood. Her head was crushed in… evidently having been… what? Come on! What were the stiffened fingers clutching? Tell me, damn you!
I get the gist, but the devil’s in the details. I need more. So much more. Gracie, pissed over losing a man she didn’t even want in the first place, lured Jane out of her “humble home,” beat her to death with stones and a fence rail, and dumped the body in a creek. I get that, and I know that’s pretty much the whole story, but… You can’t give someone the phrase “stiffened fingers clutched” and then trail off. How is that fair? Damn you, great-grandmother, damn you to Hell! I care not for your Fancy Work, Tea & Cake. These stiffened, clutching fingers… I must know more. Why do you deny me?
Anyway. Towards the end of the clean-up I found an old box of letters and newspaper clippings that apparently belonged to my great-grandmother. I have serious questions about this woman now. On one hand, she decided to save a bunch of old religious poetry and newspaper clippings about handy household tips. On the other hand, she saved a bunch of risqué postcards sent to her by someone only identified as “F.” I still don’t know if I’m amused or creeped out. (I do love a brief message on one of the postcards - postmarked September 13, 1938 - “Dear Eth- Having swell time. Wish you were here. Everything ducky, Toot Toot. -F.)
The newspaper clippings are actually infuriating. The woman saved the most boring things possible (how to remove a sweet apple stain, a new way of making tea, knit edging on fancy work). The flip side of the clippings are invariably fascinating, but they get cut off…
A reminder that the meeting of the Girls’ Never Idle Club will meet with Mrs. Herbert Anderson Tuesday evening. Flip side - Otto F. Rullman, 74-year-old grocer, suicides.
Geographers believe that Arabia, now mostly desert, was well-watered and fertile in early times. Flip side - Konstantine Gurgiotis found dead in bed over his restaurant at 57-60 Center Street.
State Grange Master plans for busy year. Flip side - North end woman found on Kennebec bridge rail, said she and husband entered suicide pact.
Two pounds of seasoned wood have the same fuel value as one pound of coal. Flip side - Authorities declare Konstantine Gurgiotis was murdered.
Large numbers of Roman coins have been found in southern India, confirming accounts of commerce between the two ancient nations. Flip side - Miss Jane Sewell Murphy suffers fractured leg, four broken ribs and loss of five teeth in automobile collision.
Jumbles - 4 eggs, 3 cups of sugar, 1 cup of butter, ½ teaspoonful of soda, a little nutmeg. Stir in flour until able to roll, cut with a scalloped cake cutter, dip into sugar, back in a quick oven. Flip side - Reward of $500 offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of slayer of Konstantine Gurgiotis, Greek restaurateur, whose body was found May 2.
And the real killer? (Not of Konstantine, because I have no idea how that turned out…) A clipping of Notes From Lady Contributors, containing brief articles such as ‘Fred’s Appreciation,’ ‘Good Advice,’ and ‘Fancy Work, Tea & Cake.’ It’s cut on an angle, so the story on the other side doesn’t just end abruptly like the others - a portion of the paragraphs are missing.
This is what I’m left with:
WOMAN IN DIXIE
A Singular Duel with Fence Rails in
North Carolina - Feminine Jealousy and
Brutality.
Monday week, in the Tyron valley region in
North Carolina, there was a desperate and fatal
duel between two young women. One, Gracie
Mills, lived just over the state line in South Car-
olina. The other, Jane Jackson, lived in North
Carolina. A year ago Robert Selby, a young
farmer living in the neighborhood, began paying
court to Gracie Mills, but he did not make any
headway. About six months since he began to
be attentive to Jane Jackson, who received his
advances favorably.
Miss Mills, who had before rejected his address-
es, now began to hate the woman who was ac
cepting them, and her dislike was returned, th
women frequently saying harsh things of ea
other. Gracie Mills endeavored to win the yo
man back to her side, but she could not n
him to desert his new-found love.
Tuesday night Jane Jackson was sitting
humble home with Dora Spencer, a youn
Her mother and sister were away. At
a voice was heard outside calling to J
son. She went out and never retur
friend went out afterward and called,
no reply. Wednesday morning t
was solved. Some distance from
clump of pines, the ground show
desperate struggle. Stones an
rail were lying about stained w
was discovered through the
search discovered the body
creek near by.
Her head was crushed in
evidently by having been
stiffened fingers clutche
which has been recog
Mills. The tracks sho
na rival had been assi
all that can be learne
men met upon the s
and that the m
Gracie Mills, and
crushed in Jane
about the affair
Gracie Miss ha
her.
What?!? No! You can’t do this to me! Stones and (fence?) rail stained with… blood, right? It has to be blood. Her head was crushed in… evidently having been… what? Come on! What were the stiffened fingers clutching? Tell me, damn you!
I get the gist, but the devil’s in the details. I need more. So much more. Gracie, pissed over losing a man she didn’t even want in the first place, lured Jane out of her “humble home,” beat her to death with stones and a fence rail, and dumped the body in a creek. I get that, and I know that’s pretty much the whole story, but… You can’t give someone the phrase “stiffened fingers clutched” and then trail off. How is that fair? Damn you, great-grandmother, damn you to Hell! I care not for your Fancy Work, Tea & Cake. These stiffened, clutching fingers… I must know more. Why do you deny me?