Fairies, Unicorns, Heterosexuals & Other Mythological Creatures
In the last two weeks I met seven people. Gallery, shopping, library, dock, gym, hospital, restaurant. Four men, three women. And every single one of them is gay. I know that I tend to gravitate toward that end of the spectrum, and Newburyport is a city bursting with pride, but still... I'm beginning to think that heterosexuality is a myth. I don't know. Maybe I just have subconscious gaydar.
Take my newest obsession, for example.
Senora del Destino, the best telenovella ever aired on Telemundo. Seriously. I mean... a baby kidnapper, political intrigue, domestic abuse, substance abuse, stalkers, brawls, wide-eyed innocents, squinting villains... it just doesn't get any better than that, does it? Yes, it does. Because Senora del Destino is actually, originally Senhora do Destino. It's not an insane Spanish soap opera. It's an insane Brazilian Portuguese soap opera. Filmed in Portuguese, dubbed in Spanish. Wonderfully, the languages are similar enough for occasional synchronicity. Sometimes the lip movements match the words, sometimes they don't. It's fascinating. I don't speak either language, but I like that. It's fun trying to figure out what the hell's going on.
Anyway. I went into the Gallery the other day, and wound up in the loft updating client information and watching Senora del Destino. Amy wandered by and stopped to see what I was watching. It took her about three minutes to realize it wasn't in English, but that's not the point. Well, not entirely. I do enjoy Amy's airhead moments. But the following ensued:
Amy: So... you don't know what they're saying?
Me: Nuh-uh.
Amy: But you know what's happening?
Me: Yup. See, that's Nazaré. She kidnapped Claudia ages ago.
Amy: Huh?
Me: Claudia. She's the goth-ish teenager with all the piercings.
Amy: Oh. That's nice. Are there any gay people?
Me: One little flamer. He dances and organizes parties. Flamer stuff.
Amy: No chicks?
Me: On Telemundo? Not likely.
Amy: That sucks.
And then she drifted away. Cut to five minutes later...
Me: Amy! Come here!
Amy: What?
Me: Lesbians!
The worst of it is, I started watching the show in the first place because of the blonde lesbian, Eleonora. I didn't know she was gay. I was just fascinated by her because she wore white all the time. White pants, white shoes, white tees, white blouses. All that white meant that she was either in a medical profession or she was insane. I was rooting for pure lunacy, but she turned out to be a doctor. And not even a crazy doctor, or a mean one. She's a friendly, life-saving doctor. With incredible hair. I admit, I also watched for her hair. It's all wispy in the front, and curly in the middle, and flippy in the back. It's like her hair is the love-child of Gidget and Gina Gershon.
So I watched Eleonora and fell in love with the whole show. I even tried to write off her chemistry with the redheaded lesbian, Jenifer, as my own personal insanity, but it didn't work. They even had a static electricity moment. You know, where the characters touch and then go "Ai!" and jump back and look at their hands. Trite. So very, very trite. I couldn't possibly love it more.
So even my favorite TV characters turn out to be gay.
Eleonora. The white, the hair. Love her.
Jenifer, greeting Eleonora. She is wearing a shirt. Sadly enough.
Anyway. I always wanted a pet unicorn. I wonder what they eat...
Take my newest obsession, for example.
Senora del Destino, the best telenovella ever aired on Telemundo. Seriously. I mean... a baby kidnapper, political intrigue, domestic abuse, substance abuse, stalkers, brawls, wide-eyed innocents, squinting villains... it just doesn't get any better than that, does it? Yes, it does. Because Senora del Destino is actually, originally Senhora do Destino. It's not an insane Spanish soap opera. It's an insane Brazilian Portuguese soap opera. Filmed in Portuguese, dubbed in Spanish. Wonderfully, the languages are similar enough for occasional synchronicity. Sometimes the lip movements match the words, sometimes they don't. It's fascinating. I don't speak either language, but I like that. It's fun trying to figure out what the hell's going on.
Anyway. I went into the Gallery the other day, and wound up in the loft updating client information and watching Senora del Destino. Amy wandered by and stopped to see what I was watching. It took her about three minutes to realize it wasn't in English, but that's not the point. Well, not entirely. I do enjoy Amy's airhead moments. But the following ensued:
Amy: So... you don't know what they're saying?
Me: Nuh-uh.
Amy: But you know what's happening?
Me: Yup. See, that's Nazaré. She kidnapped Claudia ages ago.
Amy: Huh?
Me: Claudia. She's the goth-ish teenager with all the piercings.
Amy: Oh. That's nice. Are there any gay people?
Me: One little flamer. He dances and organizes parties. Flamer stuff.
Amy: No chicks?
Me: On Telemundo? Not likely.
Amy: That sucks.
And then she drifted away. Cut to five minutes later...
Me: Amy! Come here!
Amy: What?
Me: Lesbians!
The worst of it is, I started watching the show in the first place because of the blonde lesbian, Eleonora. I didn't know she was gay. I was just fascinated by her because she wore white all the time. White pants, white shoes, white tees, white blouses. All that white meant that she was either in a medical profession or she was insane. I was rooting for pure lunacy, but she turned out to be a doctor. And not even a crazy doctor, or a mean one. She's a friendly, life-saving doctor. With incredible hair. I admit, I also watched for her hair. It's all wispy in the front, and curly in the middle, and flippy in the back. It's like her hair is the love-child of Gidget and Gina Gershon.
So I watched Eleonora and fell in love with the whole show. I even tried to write off her chemistry with the redheaded lesbian, Jenifer, as my own personal insanity, but it didn't work. They even had a static electricity moment. You know, where the characters touch and then go "Ai!" and jump back and look at their hands. Trite. So very, very trite. I couldn't possibly love it more.
So even my favorite TV characters turn out to be gay.
Eleonora. The white, the hair. Love her.
Jenifer, greeting Eleonora. She is wearing a shirt. Sadly enough.
Anyway. I always wanted a pet unicorn. I wonder what they eat...