Make Them Stop!
Mia and Kerri are here for a Bad Girls marathon. (Shut up. It's a UK drama. Women in prison and all that. No, really, shut up. It's an awesome show.) Anyway, Mia and Kerri? They really need to sleep with each other. Just get it over with already. I had to leave the room to get away from them and that damn giggling. I hate girls who flirty-giggle. At least they started up at a good time, because this way I don't have to see Zandra die again. I'll go back when Shaz shows up. I like Shaz.
I really have nothing to say. Um, I watched the Boston Marathon yesterday. 26.2 fucking miles. I wouldn't run that far if someone was chasing me with a big knife. Really. If someone was 26.2 miles serious about killing me... I guess they'd have to have a pretty good reason, actually. So I'd probably deserve it. But I'd rather die without having to run that far. I mean, a block I would consider. Maybe two. Beyond that... I'm a sitting duck. Just for future reference. 'Cause you never know who I'll piss off next, and if it happens to be you... Oh, hell. If you're planning on killing me, make it easy on both of us. Just call me and I'll show up at your house. Why prolong the inevitable?
I really don't want to go back into the livingroom with all that giggling, so... What else can I ramble about? Ah, television, yes. Tomorrow I will be watching ABC make daytime history on All My Children. Yes, I watch All My Children. When Bianca's on. And Maggie. Lena, too, now. Oh, and when there's supposed to be a catfight. Those are always fun.
Damn. Zandra's not even dead yet. Okay. So, uh... Boyd wants Kendall, but Kendall wants Michael, who happens to be a big mean sneak, which everyone but Kendall seems to realize. Michael wants Boyd's secret formula, because it goes along with his being a sneak. Also, it'll make him rich, but whatever... big sneak. Michael brings in Lena, a Polish seductress (who's actually British in real life, even though she has the very Russian-sounding name of Olga Sosnovska) to work at Enchantment and seduce the formula away from Boyd. But Boyd is in love with Kendall, and seems to have morals. Morals. In Pine Valley. Novel idea, no? So Michael gets huffy. He gives Kendall a sob story about needing to prove his worth to his dying daddy by getting Boyd's formula and Kendall falls for it hook line and sinker. Because she's just that naive. Kendall goes off to seduce Boyd for Michael, and fails miserably.
Meanwhile, Bianca (Boyd's good friend, and the lesbian daughter of Enchantment owner Erica Kane - yes, _the_ Erica Kane, supermodel and habitual bride) and Boyd make a bet over Lena's sexuality because... Well, she's sexy. Very. Bianca appears to have won the bet, because Lena asks her out on a date, which is adorable since "Queen of the Midway" Myrtle tags along. Their date coincides quite nicely with Kendall's attempt to seduce Boyd, and since Bianca and Boyd live at Myrtle's boardinghouse (even though they're both rich), Lena winds up getting a front row view of Michael's plot backfiring.
Michael, having failed twice, decides to go for a third screw-up. He tells Lena to sleep with Bianca, which is somehow supposed to convince Bianca to get Boyd's formula, but Lena seems to have fallen in love with the sweet and innocent Bianca (well, who wouldn't?) and eventually refuses. Lena breaks things off with Bianca, because love, in the soap tradition, has made her see the error of her ways, and she can't bear to hurt Bianca to help Michael. So tomorrow Bianca will follow Lena to the airport and wind up making a big scene as well as... Daytime Television History.
My brain hurts. I probably should have been using all of that AMC viewing time to be doing something productive, but it's more fun to make brain cells wither and die. It makes the head nice and breezy and free. Oh, yay! Shaz is finally on. Maybe now the giggle-whores will shut up and start drooling over Simone Lahbib again. Mmmm. Simone...
I really have nothing to say. Um, I watched the Boston Marathon yesterday. 26.2 fucking miles. I wouldn't run that far if someone was chasing me with a big knife. Really. If someone was 26.2 miles serious about killing me... I guess they'd have to have a pretty good reason, actually. So I'd probably deserve it. But I'd rather die without having to run that far. I mean, a block I would consider. Maybe two. Beyond that... I'm a sitting duck. Just for future reference. 'Cause you never know who I'll piss off next, and if it happens to be you... Oh, hell. If you're planning on killing me, make it easy on both of us. Just call me and I'll show up at your house. Why prolong the inevitable?
I really don't want to go back into the livingroom with all that giggling, so... What else can I ramble about? Ah, television, yes. Tomorrow I will be watching ABC make daytime history on All My Children. Yes, I watch All My Children. When Bianca's on. And Maggie. Lena, too, now. Oh, and when there's supposed to be a catfight. Those are always fun.
Damn. Zandra's not even dead yet. Okay. So, uh... Boyd wants Kendall, but Kendall wants Michael, who happens to be a big mean sneak, which everyone but Kendall seems to realize. Michael wants Boyd's secret formula, because it goes along with his being a sneak. Also, it'll make him rich, but whatever... big sneak. Michael brings in Lena, a Polish seductress (who's actually British in real life, even though she has the very Russian-sounding name of Olga Sosnovska) to work at Enchantment and seduce the formula away from Boyd. But Boyd is in love with Kendall, and seems to have morals. Morals. In Pine Valley. Novel idea, no? So Michael gets huffy. He gives Kendall a sob story about needing to prove his worth to his dying daddy by getting Boyd's formula and Kendall falls for it hook line and sinker. Because she's just that naive. Kendall goes off to seduce Boyd for Michael, and fails miserably.
Meanwhile, Bianca (Boyd's good friend, and the lesbian daughter of Enchantment owner Erica Kane - yes, _the_ Erica Kane, supermodel and habitual bride) and Boyd make a bet over Lena's sexuality because... Well, she's sexy. Very. Bianca appears to have won the bet, because Lena asks her out on a date, which is adorable since "Queen of the Midway" Myrtle tags along. Their date coincides quite nicely with Kendall's attempt to seduce Boyd, and since Bianca and Boyd live at Myrtle's boardinghouse (even though they're both rich), Lena winds up getting a front row view of Michael's plot backfiring.
Michael, having failed twice, decides to go for a third screw-up. He tells Lena to sleep with Bianca, which is somehow supposed to convince Bianca to get Boyd's formula, but Lena seems to have fallen in love with the sweet and innocent Bianca (well, who wouldn't?) and eventually refuses. Lena breaks things off with Bianca, because love, in the soap tradition, has made her see the error of her ways, and she can't bear to hurt Bianca to help Michael. So tomorrow Bianca will follow Lena to the airport and wind up making a big scene as well as... Daytime Television History.
My brain hurts. I probably should have been using all of that AMC viewing time to be doing something productive, but it's more fun to make brain cells wither and die. It makes the head nice and breezy and free. Oh, yay! Shaz is finally on. Maybe now the giggle-whores will shut up and start drooling over Simone Lahbib again. Mmmm. Simone...