Fic: A Question of Love (ER -- Peter/John) PG
Title: A Question of Love
Author: kingzgurl
Fandom: ER
Pairing: Peter Benton/John Carter
Word Count: 1,200
Rating: PG
prompt_in_a_box #8: Dear shepherd, now I find thy saw of might: 'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?' - William Shakespeare, As You Like It, 3.5
Timeline/Spoilers: post-season fifteen, episode nineteen “Old Times”
Summary: Peter Benton has a talk with Reese after seeing Carter in the hospital.
***
“Carter was always saying that it was love at first sight. That he knew we’d end up together from the instant he saw me sitting at the desk drinking a cup of disgusting hospital coffee. Well, maybe he knew right from the beginning, but it took me a lot longer to reach that conclusion.”
“Why was that?” Reese asked, his eyes bright with curiosity. His dad never talked about John Carter. Even at Christmas when Cleo asked if they should send him a Christmas card, dad never answered.
“You’ve seen him,” Peter laughed, the deep rumbling laugh that Reese loved because he could feel it in his bones, bringing a smile to his face. “Now imagine him fresh out of med school, still young and even more awkward than he is now. Do you see why I missed it?”
Reese returned the smile, his amusement obvious in his facial features. “So what changed your mind?”
“It took a long time,” Peter admitted with a shake of his head. “More than five years of me being mean to him, you being born, my problems with your mom, me and Cleo getting together, and him being stabbed before I even opened my eyes to what was right in front of me.”
“So you realized you loved him because he almost died?” Reese questioned, trying not to roll his eyes at the cliché of it all. He was still a teenager, and this story was beginning to sound too much like a Lifetime original movie.
“No,” Peter shook his head again, “almost losing him made me realize that I cared about him more than I wanted to admit, but it also made me push him away. After I was sure he was okay physically, I went back to mostly ignoring him, which was the biggest mistake I ever made.”
Reese tilted his head slightly to the left, looking closely at his dad’s face. Was he crying?
Peter continued his story, oblivious to Reese’s presence as he stared off into the memories that were coming to the forefront of his mind. Memories he had kept suppressed for far too long. “That was when John realized that I wasn’t ever going to be there for him. He had held out hope for so long, but that’s when he lost it…” Peter paused, his hands shaking as he tried to compose himself to continue the story. “He started over-medicating. He was nursing some very painful stab wounds and a broken heart… it makes sense he went down that road…”
Reese didn’t fully understand what his dad was talking about, which road John had gone down, but he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt. He wasn’t sure his dad would notice if he tried to.
“And then they arranged that intervention. Stupidest thing I’ve ever seen some brilliant people do. He fought it. Told them they were all crazy, got defensive, and ran out. And I stood there and let it happen. My second mistake, but one I was able to fix when I went out after him. I couldn’t let him get away and ruin his life, especially because it was my fault. I should never have shoved him away in the first place.”
Peter stopped; his hands finally still while he kept his head down and his eyes unfocused in front of him.
“What happened next?” Reese urged him to continue, caught up in the story of his dad’s love affair with a man.
After what seemed like an hour, he began again, his eyes still fixed on the memory from his past. “I caught him on the street, begged him to get help, told him I was sorry and I’d never leave him again… everything, anything, to get him to go to Atlanta. I couldn’t watch him destroy his life and his career like that, I cared too much because I liked… no, loved the kid. I got on the plane with him and we went to Atlanta. I stayed with him for a few days before the hospital needed me back, but I promised him that I would be there when he got home. I was. For a while he wasn’t Carter, he wasn’t the man I had taught and grown to love, but over time he came back. He had just gotten lost for a little while, but he told me that loving me gave him a reason to get through it, and that my being there made him fight that much harder.”
As the tale progressed, Peter’s face had begun to change. It was no longer pained and upset, but now displayed a smile clouded by sadness.
“Why didn’t you stay together?” Reese asked, curiously. Things would have been extremely different if his dad hadn’t married Cleo.
“He says it was love at first sight, but love just wasn’t enough,” Peter replied slowly. “He got involved with Abby, and I got distracted with problems with your mom again, and then I moved away to be with you. It didn’t matter that we loved each other, it wasn’t enough to keep us together.”
“Do you regret it?” Reese asked, knowing this was probably the only chance he would have to get his questioned answered honestly.
“Sometimes,” was the reply that came back. “He left a few years after that for Africa, and I didn’t hear from him again until I found him at the hospital last week.”
“Are you going to do anything about it?”
“It’s too late now. That chance disappeared the moment I married Cleo,” Peter’s eyes finally came back into focus, looking down at where his son was sitting on the floor.
“Does she know?” Reese lowered his hands after he asked, one eyebrow raised in question as he prepared himself to be left without an answer.
“I do now,” Cleo’s voice announced and hands waved from the door way.
“Cleo,” Peter’s lips moved slowly, forming the word carefully.
Reese moved himself to the side of the room, out of the way of his parents. He was too far away to clearly understand the conversation; he could only see the sadness in his dad’s eyes.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Cleo asked, her mouth moving quickly and her lips drawing together tightly in a frown when she finished speaking. She was agitated; Reese knew all too well, that was the same look she got on her face when she was upset that he didn’t do his homework.
“You wouldn’t have understood,” Peter dropped his head again, and Reese knew he had given up.
“You’re right,” she said, turning her back and walking to the door, her muscles were tense, causing her movements to appear jerky. She was beyond agitated now, Reese could tell, she was leaving because she was upset.
The door slammed shut behind her, the windows and walls shaking from the force.
Reese stood and went to the stairs, pausing at the bottom to look over at his dad who was still on the couch with his head in his hands. With a shake of his head he headed for his bedroom, debating about submitting the entire situation as a storyline to one of those medical-drama shows that were so popular.
Author: kingzgurl
Fandom: ER
Pairing: Peter Benton/John Carter
Word Count: 1,200
Rating: PG
prompt_in_a_box #8: Dear shepherd, now I find thy saw of might: 'Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?' - William Shakespeare, As You Like It, 3.5
Timeline/Spoilers: post-season fifteen, episode nineteen “Old Times”
Summary: Peter Benton has a talk with Reese after seeing Carter in the hospital.
***
“Carter was always saying that it was love at first sight. That he knew we’d end up together from the instant he saw me sitting at the desk drinking a cup of disgusting hospital coffee. Well, maybe he knew right from the beginning, but it took me a lot longer to reach that conclusion.”
“Why was that?” Reese asked, his eyes bright with curiosity. His dad never talked about John Carter. Even at Christmas when Cleo asked if they should send him a Christmas card, dad never answered.
“You’ve seen him,” Peter laughed, the deep rumbling laugh that Reese loved because he could feel it in his bones, bringing a smile to his face. “Now imagine him fresh out of med school, still young and even more awkward than he is now. Do you see why I missed it?”
Reese returned the smile, his amusement obvious in his facial features. “So what changed your mind?”
“It took a long time,” Peter admitted with a shake of his head. “More than five years of me being mean to him, you being born, my problems with your mom, me and Cleo getting together, and him being stabbed before I even opened my eyes to what was right in front of me.”
“So you realized you loved him because he almost died?” Reese questioned, trying not to roll his eyes at the cliché of it all. He was still a teenager, and this story was beginning to sound too much like a Lifetime original movie.
“No,” Peter shook his head again, “almost losing him made me realize that I cared about him more than I wanted to admit, but it also made me push him away. After I was sure he was okay physically, I went back to mostly ignoring him, which was the biggest mistake I ever made.”
Reese tilted his head slightly to the left, looking closely at his dad’s face. Was he crying?
Peter continued his story, oblivious to Reese’s presence as he stared off into the memories that were coming to the forefront of his mind. Memories he had kept suppressed for far too long. “That was when John realized that I wasn’t ever going to be there for him. He had held out hope for so long, but that’s when he lost it…” Peter paused, his hands shaking as he tried to compose himself to continue the story. “He started over-medicating. He was nursing some very painful stab wounds and a broken heart… it makes sense he went down that road…”
Reese didn’t fully understand what his dad was talking about, which road John had gone down, but he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt. He wasn’t sure his dad would notice if he tried to.
“And then they arranged that intervention. Stupidest thing I’ve ever seen some brilliant people do. He fought it. Told them they were all crazy, got defensive, and ran out. And I stood there and let it happen. My second mistake, but one I was able to fix when I went out after him. I couldn’t let him get away and ruin his life, especially because it was my fault. I should never have shoved him away in the first place.”
Peter stopped; his hands finally still while he kept his head down and his eyes unfocused in front of him.
“What happened next?” Reese urged him to continue, caught up in the story of his dad’s love affair with a man.
After what seemed like an hour, he began again, his eyes still fixed on the memory from his past. “I caught him on the street, begged him to get help, told him I was sorry and I’d never leave him again… everything, anything, to get him to go to Atlanta. I couldn’t watch him destroy his life and his career like that, I cared too much because I liked… no, loved the kid. I got on the plane with him and we went to Atlanta. I stayed with him for a few days before the hospital needed me back, but I promised him that I would be there when he got home. I was. For a while he wasn’t Carter, he wasn’t the man I had taught and grown to love, but over time he came back. He had just gotten lost for a little while, but he told me that loving me gave him a reason to get through it, and that my being there made him fight that much harder.”
As the tale progressed, Peter’s face had begun to change. It was no longer pained and upset, but now displayed a smile clouded by sadness.
“Why didn’t you stay together?” Reese asked, curiously. Things would have been extremely different if his dad hadn’t married Cleo.
“He says it was love at first sight, but love just wasn’t enough,” Peter replied slowly. “He got involved with Abby, and I got distracted with problems with your mom again, and then I moved away to be with you. It didn’t matter that we loved each other, it wasn’t enough to keep us together.”
“Do you regret it?” Reese asked, knowing this was probably the only chance he would have to get his questioned answered honestly.
“Sometimes,” was the reply that came back. “He left a few years after that for Africa, and I didn’t hear from him again until I found him at the hospital last week.”
“Are you going to do anything about it?”
“It’s too late now. That chance disappeared the moment I married Cleo,” Peter’s eyes finally came back into focus, looking down at where his son was sitting on the floor.
“Does she know?” Reese lowered his hands after he asked, one eyebrow raised in question as he prepared himself to be left without an answer.
“I do now,” Cleo’s voice announced and hands waved from the door way.
“Cleo,” Peter’s lips moved slowly, forming the word carefully.
Reese moved himself to the side of the room, out of the way of his parents. He was too far away to clearly understand the conversation; he could only see the sadness in his dad’s eyes.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Cleo asked, her mouth moving quickly and her lips drawing together tightly in a frown when she finished speaking. She was agitated; Reese knew all too well, that was the same look she got on her face when she was upset that he didn’t do his homework.
“You wouldn’t have understood,” Peter dropped his head again, and Reese knew he had given up.
“You’re right,” she said, turning her back and walking to the door, her muscles were tense, causing her movements to appear jerky. She was beyond agitated now, Reese could tell, she was leaving because she was upset.
The door slammed shut behind her, the windows and walls shaking from the force.
Reese stood and went to the stairs, pausing at the bottom to look over at his dad who was still on the couch with his head in his hands. With a shake of his head he headed for his bedroom, debating about submitting the entire situation as a storyline to one of those medical-drama shows that were so popular.