my eyes are burning
arg!
thank you friggen flood of emotion...now that i've been eaten by bad dreams and waves of homesickness and a feeling of comeplete devasation and un-belonging...
i tried to go to sleep around 12 last night... and finally after reading erotica, jillin' off, stuffing ear plugs in, meditating, breathing deeply, leeting my mind wander and trying to force my body to relax, i got from bed at 4 and chugged a lil more than a shot of siberian ginseng with a splash of lemonade to make myself sleepy... no go. i think i passed out some where around 5... and then promptly had major bad dreams...
for those of you that are privileged enough to have heard one of my dreams, you'll know that i usually don't have them when i only get a few hours of sleep and that i DON"T HAVE BAD DREAMS. these were bad and on only 3-ish hours of sleep....
i told the worst one about 6 times today... so i don't feel like typing it... but it you really want to hear, drop me a line and i'll give ya a jingle...
the first few times i tried to tell it i was crying before i'd gotten the first word all the way out... but the 4th time i told it i didn't start to cry until half way through... but man, i let the crying rip all morning, very theraputic... i think something just needed to claw its way out of me last night...
so...
now..
yes..
um.
i guess its time for me to go tap fer awhile and then cry my way through yoga... fuck. its good to be really fuckin' sad rather than to be a stress mess.... phew...
thank you friggen flood of emotion...now that i've been eaten by bad dreams and waves of homesickness and a feeling of comeplete devasation and un-belonging...
i tried to go to sleep around 12 last night... and finally after reading erotica, jillin' off, stuffing ear plugs in, meditating, breathing deeply, leeting my mind wander and trying to force my body to relax, i got from bed at 4 and chugged a lil more than a shot of siberian ginseng with a splash of lemonade to make myself sleepy... no go. i think i passed out some where around 5... and then promptly had major bad dreams...
for those of you that are privileged enough to have heard one of my dreams, you'll know that i usually don't have them when i only get a few hours of sleep and that i DON"T HAVE BAD DREAMS. these were bad and on only 3-ish hours of sleep....
i told the worst one about 6 times today... so i don't feel like typing it... but it you really want to hear, drop me a line and i'll give ya a jingle...
the first few times i tried to tell it i was crying before i'd gotten the first word all the way out... but the 4th time i told it i didn't start to cry until half way through... but man, i let the crying rip all morning, very theraputic... i think something just needed to claw its way out of me last night...
so...
now..
yes..
um.
i guess its time for me to go tap fer awhile and then cry my way through yoga... fuck. its good to be really fuckin' sad rather than to be a stress mess.... phew...