(no subject)
on the subject of my train of thought, you are like some perverse disobedient child putting pennies on the tracks. derail my mind until it crashes conveniently next to yours. quit bringing me down, asshole. I have enough brain static as it is and I don't need yours intruding, however attractive the package it comes in may be.
of the small handful of people I really do truly love, I love with mad intensity. I no longer think of the heart as a bar of soap that shrinks with use and snaps if you grip it too hard. somehow abandoning my implicit tendency to always second guess and question the sincerity of loving (or being loved) has made my affection for certain people much more solid.
as the third anniversary of Annette's death approaches I need to make a point to call her mom. this year especially, her absence is palpable. this weight on my chest reminding me that she would be starting college, she would be 19, she would be incredible.
FALL TOO, APPROACHES. and never fails to put me in a finite and clear and productive mood. usually. sometimes I just feel like getting drunk outside in a pile of leaves. I have to remind myself to get out in nature.