Narcotic Tom
My brother had surgery this morning to take a cyst off his tailbone. He's fine - they just said he should take it out so it stops flaring up and causing him immense pain.
They had to put him under, which Tom has never experienced, so I called to see how he was.
He was narcotic'd.
They were in the pharmacy when Mom handed him the phone. "We're in the pharmacy because they said I needed stool softener," he said in regular volume.
I said, "Oh okay."
"I hit on the nurses," he said. "They asked if my wife was taking care of me and I said I didn't have a wife, only a mother. But I was looking for a wife. One of them said she had a sister who would love to go out with me so I gave them my phone number and said, 'Is she female and employed? That's my only criteria...female and employed.' The nurse said, 'What if she has missing teeth?' I said, "Dentistry is not a requirement."
"Good good," I said, laughing.
He told his throat hurt. I said to try some tea with honey.
"HONEY!" he yelled. "WE NEED HONEY!"
Then he got quiet, "They said my poop might get hard. That's why we're here."
I laughed and Mom took the phone back. "It's just like Grandpa, isn't it?"
She went with Grandpa to all of his appointments and found out the majority of his embarrassing childhood stories while he was doped up. I think it's her favorite part of caretaking.
Can't blame her, really.
They had to put him under, which Tom has never experienced, so I called to see how he was.
He was narcotic'd.
They were in the pharmacy when Mom handed him the phone. "We're in the pharmacy because they said I needed stool softener," he said in regular volume.
I said, "Oh okay."
"I hit on the nurses," he said. "They asked if my wife was taking care of me and I said I didn't have a wife, only a mother. But I was looking for a wife. One of them said she had a sister who would love to go out with me so I gave them my phone number and said, 'Is she female and employed? That's my only criteria...female and employed.' The nurse said, 'What if she has missing teeth?' I said, "Dentistry is not a requirement."
"Good good," I said, laughing.
He told his throat hurt. I said to try some tea with honey.
"HONEY!" he yelled. "WE NEED HONEY!"
Then he got quiet, "They said my poop might get hard. That's why we're here."
I laughed and Mom took the phone back. "It's just like Grandpa, isn't it?"
She went with Grandpa to all of his appointments and found out the majority of his embarrassing childhood stories while he was doped up. I think it's her favorite part of caretaking.
Can't blame her, really.