Building Rapport Through Terrible Artistry
There are about a billion ways to build rapport with clients...and other people in general. Really, trying to teach rapport building is an awesome thing, but the skills to make it happen are much more influential than a particular trait. In my opinion.
Case in point:
I work with some difficult clients. Clients in general are difficult because humanity is difficult, don't get me wrong. But I have one particular referral source who works with vulnerable adults ranging from pervasive developmental disorder to fetal alcohol syndrome to more PTSD than I could even imagine was possible. They are fantastic people and absolutely fascinating to work with, but rapport with this group is more significant with others, to me, because they have been taught from their earliest memory that other people will hurt you.
On Thursday, I had my first session with one female and it was a lot of silence. She looked super nervous and came with a history about 2 inches thick.
We talked about a few things and she was very articulate about things she enjoyed, one of which was drawing.
When I asked what she liked to draw, she said, "Puppy dogs."
I told her I loved puppy dogs but couldn't draw. Would she like to see? She nodded.
I then drew my typical stick dog which does not in any way resemble even a stick dog. It almost looked like a dog attempted to draw it, really. I'm terrible at sketching, drawing, and artistry of any kind. I hardly had to embellish to get my point across.
"What do you think? Do you draw better than this?" I asked.
She laughed and looked at me. "Yes," she said. "And when I draw a dog, it actually looks like a dog."
From there, things went a lot more smoothly.
I continue to believe that understanding and laughter can be the same coin. It doesn't all have to be serious.
Case in point:
I work with some difficult clients. Clients in general are difficult because humanity is difficult, don't get me wrong. But I have one particular referral source who works with vulnerable adults ranging from pervasive developmental disorder to fetal alcohol syndrome to more PTSD than I could even imagine was possible. They are fantastic people and absolutely fascinating to work with, but rapport with this group is more significant with others, to me, because they have been taught from their earliest memory that other people will hurt you.
On Thursday, I had my first session with one female and it was a lot of silence. She looked super nervous and came with a history about 2 inches thick.
We talked about a few things and she was very articulate about things she enjoyed, one of which was drawing.
When I asked what she liked to draw, she said, "Puppy dogs."
I told her I loved puppy dogs but couldn't draw. Would she like to see? She nodded.
I then drew my typical stick dog which does not in any way resemble even a stick dog. It almost looked like a dog attempted to draw it, really. I'm terrible at sketching, drawing, and artistry of any kind. I hardly had to embellish to get my point across.
"What do you think? Do you draw better than this?" I asked.
She laughed and looked at me. "Yes," she said. "And when I draw a dog, it actually looks like a dog."
From there, things went a lot more smoothly.
I continue to believe that understanding and laughter can be the same coin. It doesn't all have to be serious.