work in progress
well more sleepless nights have been had. I don't understand why, not like I have much to stress about other than work. And work has been stressful, I fucked up today, wired money instead of a note. I am too hard on myself sometime, it just eats me up inside. Melissa did give me some of her valiums. I'm nervous about taking drugs and scared I may become dependent. I want to find out why I have gone into this pattern. not just "fix" it.
I'm also back on the pattern of why am I single? why can't I find what I am looking for? Is it because I'm looking? Or because they are all looking the other way? I have yet to figure that one out, and think I may be putting too much thought into it. I have been having fun though with the people I'm spending my time with and at the end that's all that matters.
I do wish I could be held by that person that has been doing it as of lately. I find myself wanting it more and more... don't know if that's a good or a bad. It just is.
This week is flying by as I thought it would, tomorrow will be crazy, Thursday hopefully the dust will be settling just in time for Friday's party that I will be putting on. I hope I got the right type of cheese to go with the wine....
I'm also back on the pattern of why am I single? why can't I find what I am looking for? Is it because I'm looking? Or because they are all looking the other way? I have yet to figure that one out, and think I may be putting too much thought into it. I have been having fun though with the people I'm spending my time with and at the end that's all that matters.
I do wish I could be held by that person that has been doing it as of lately. I find myself wanting it more and more... don't know if that's a good or a bad. It just is.
This week is flying by as I thought it would, tomorrow will be crazy, Thursday hopefully the dust will be settling just in time for Friday's party that I will be putting on. I hope I got the right type of cheese to go with the wine....